According to Black Enterprise Magazine, “there are seven financial friends everyone should have on speed dial.  Economists & academics believe that at least part of the wealth disparity between African Americans and White Americans in the United States can be attributed to the persistent distrust of financial institutions among a larger number of African Americans.”

The first financial friend we all need is a PERSONAL BANKER OR BRANCH MANAGER

Many borrowers spent most of the time focusing on their credit application and forget to build additional resources to help them qualify.  What does it mean to develop a meaningful relationship with your personal banker/branch manager?  It means to attempt to develop a deeper level of rapport with the person on the other side of the desk.  If you can befriend your banker it means it will have an emotional investment in helping you and your application.

This does not mean that they will violate lending policies or commit fraudulent acts, but if the deal needs a little massaging to make it work they will commit resources to get it done.  You can establish a better relationship with your personal banker is simply through respecting their time and treating them with some common courtesy.  You can also go the extra mile by calling them on their birthday, asking them if they want coffee at your next appointment together or contacting their branch manager when they’ve done a good job and singing their praise.

Have you established an authentic relationship with your personal banker or branch manager?

We all have blind spots.  You can’t see them!  We can’t avoid them and probably will never get rid of them!  Seems obvious, but YOU aren’t in the best position to see your blind spots or to know how they are affecting the people you lead and the relationships you’re in.

Here’s what I’m learning as I lead:

Your greatest strengths can also do damage to your team dynamics. You tend to think that everyone values the same things you value and that everyone is good at the same thing that we are good at.

NOT TRUE!

Over the next few weeks I invite you to join me as I read Strength Finder 2.0.  Strengths Finder 2.0 is the follow up to Marcus Buckingham & Donald Clifton’s Now, Discover Your Strengths. The book includes a revamped version of the StrengthsFinder test that shows you not just what your top five strengths are, but also how you rank in the rest of the 34 strengths from Buckingham & Clifton’s model.

I recommend that you get the Strength Finder’s book. It’s a great tool to have on your shelf.  After reading the book and completing the Strength Finder survey, I will post my results and encourage you to do the same.  I hope this discussion will encourage you to become more aware of your own blind spots.  Please join me on this amazing journey.

Are you up for the challenge?

Check out this new ad:

Temptation is real…

Temptation always appeals to the vulnerable part of your heart.  The taste will be palatable, persistent and powerful.

Don’t believe me, ask Adam & Eve:

“When the woman saw that the fruit of the tree was good for food and pleasing to the eye, and also desirable for gaining wisdom, she took some and ate it. She also gave some to her husband, who was with her, and he ate it.” (Genesis 3:6)

Temptation is…

1. Enticing - It appeals to your hopes and desires (I plan to use the iPad to preach & teach…yea right).
2. Enjoyable - It promises you immense pleasure (I can see myself smiling as I use my iPad).
3. Evasive - It evades the truth with excuses (My heart is telling my head to find a reason to justify the purchase).
4. Escalating - It multiplies your appetite for more (If I don’t control it now, my desire for more will increase…darn it).

Ok, so did I talk myself out of purchasing one…to be continued

Do you plan to purchase an iPad?  If so, why?  If not, why?

My Aunt Doretha used to make the best pound cake in the whole world. It was so rich and creamy. I remember visiting my Aunt Doretha one summer and she explained to me that it was called a pound cake because it used a pound of butter and a pound of sugar (talk about busting the diet). Although it may not have been healthy, it sure was delicious! As I reflect on my aunt’s recipe, I wonder if the pound cake would lose its taste if one of the MAJOR ingredients (sugar or butter) were missing? Would it remain rich and creamy or morph into chewy disaster?

In today’s politics, both Democrats & Republicans demonize those who attempt to move to the middle in an attempt to forge compromises and solve problems that meet the needs of all. We all suffer from this polarization. We desperately need more leaders in Washington who can collaborate.

Google gives an example of what could happen if people would collaborate:

To improve collaboration with others, there may be no greater source for “how to” than Dale Carnegie’s 1936 classic How To Win Friends and Influence People. The principles are timeless. Some of the techniques we can each use to strengthen our collaborations with others include:

1. Become genuinely interested in other people. Take the time to ask them about themselves, their points of view, their histories.
2. Be a good listener. Remembering we’ve been given two ears and one mouth, and using them in that ratio, is a great first step. Let others do the majority of the talking. Put yourself in the “reverent” listening mode, like the person you are speaking with is telling you the most important thing in the world. No multi-tasking while listening. No trying to get in a word edge wise.
3. Be empathetic. Try honestly to see things from the other’s point of view. Repeat key points of what you’ve heard. Even if you don’t agree with the idea, paraphrase your understanding of their thoughts and needs and refrain from judging.
4. Be open, supportive and encouraging in your collaborations with others. Encourage diverse perspectives. Seek to understand. Be optimistic and supportive when hearing other points-of-view.

In my humble opinion, there’s something wrong with leaders from every walk of life. It appears we’ve lost the art of collaboration. It’s the missing ingredient we all need if we’re to be successful in life!

Do you currently practice collaboration with others? If so, how? If not, why?

Last Sunday, over 101 million people (surpassed the season finale of M.A.S.H.) tuned in and saw a great game.  Additionally, I’m led to believe the majority of those watching were equally interested in the commercials.  Many commercials made me laugh out loud (David Letterman, Oprah Winfrey, and Jay Leno & The E-Trade babies), while others confused me (men walking around in their underwear).

In my opinion, Google is the winner… Never thought a search engine would create emotion with a story just from searching…BRILLIANT!  You’ll notice the ad needs no catchy music, artwork, or flashy tricks to tell its story. They’re no gimmicks, no celebrity endorsement, no Photoshopped images, or any dubbed voices.

It’s the simplest of stories: A guy gets a girl.
Even shows you that you don’t have to know how to spell Louvre.

Here’s what I learned from Google’s ad:

1. Their ad was simple
2. Their ad showed the power of their product by demonstrating it
3. Their ad told an entire story
4. The Google logo was seen throughout. (Kinda nice to know who the actual advertiser is.)

What were your favorite Superbowl ads & what lessons did you learn from them?

For that matter, think of their characters: LeVar Burton in Roots, Jack Dawson in The Titanic, or Denzel Washington in The Book of Eli.  What do they have in common?  All are GREAT stories and all GREAT stories and have a hero.  Additionally, their stories possess two key elements you should incorporate into your story:

1. A serious challenge
2. A hero dealing with challenges and learning something as a result

It’s easy to see why most stories fail.  Try this story from a typical church conference speaker:

My wife and I started this church in 19xx with a few people and a heart to win lost people to Jesus (they leave out the part where millionaire donors foot most of the bill).  Today, we are a thriving mega-church with 15 campuses and a $20 million budget.  We host conferences, trainings, and training resources to help you get to where we are (not stated – but implied).  We are #6 on Church Growth Today’s list of the fastest growing churches in America.

It’s an impressive story, but there’s a problem:

IT’S NOT A GOOD STORY &
IT HAS THE WRONG HERO!

If you want your friends, family, church members (pastors), colleagues, or clients to identify with your story, you must do what great story tellers do:

HELP THEM IDENTIFY WITH YOUR HERO!

Trust me: People won’t readily identify with you, your church, or your company/business for a simple reason:

YOU ARE NOT, AND NEVER CAN BE,
THEIR HERO!

Instead, they are their heroes.  People identify with themselves; they want solutions to their problems.  Unfortunately, they are not interested in helping you reach your goals.  Instead, they are interested in making their own lives better.

The ideal story talks about the person, not about you, your church (pastors), or your company/business.  It puts the listener in that hero’s shoes, and creates tension around some challenge that faced the hero.  Your best stories are not about you; they are about them.  Tell stories that make people the heroes and help them identify with them.  Then they will see how you can help them!  It’s a tough task, but, you can do it!

Did I challenge you to change your story?
If so, how?  If not, why?

Two ways: SIMPLIFY and CLARIFY!

Recently, I accompanied Shauntai (my wife) to the grocery store and was quickly overwhelmed with how many brands and types of toothpaste there were.  In the typical Target store, you confront rows of over sixty options, including pastes with whitener, tartar control, breath-freshening, baking powder, tube and pump, in over a dozen different brands (what ever happened to just plain ole Crest) .

Let’s be honest: We all FEEL overwhelmed. Our DVD players have more functions that we can learn.  When something goes wrong, few of us know what to do.

Additionally, we ARE overwhelmed. Everyone you deal with is overwhelmed.  Whatever you want to communicate to them, you must learn to do it simply and clearly.

The first rule in communication is:
Communicate so that you cannot be misunderstood.

Clarity inspires trust. We worry about the opposite: we fear that people we do not understand may be concealing something.  We suspect the confusion might be a smoke screen, intended to keep us from the truth.

Clarity inspires faith. We assume, as jurors assume when they hear expert witnesses, that a person who communicates clearly understands her subject.  I remember reading somewhere where a leading jury conslulting firm discovered that people regard “clarity” as the signal trait of a true expert!

Here’s The Point:
Make yourself clearer, and people will think you’re an expert.

What tips do you have to share that’ll help others to simplify and clarify their message/product/service?

The author describes the main subject of his book as “thin-slicing:” our ability to gauge what is really important from a very narrow period of experience.  In other words, spontaneous decisions are often as good as—or even better than—carefully planned and considered ones.   Gladwell explains how an expert’s ability to “thin slice” can be corrupted by their likes and dislikes, prejudices and stereotypes.

Whew, that was pretty heavy.
Take a deep breath…relax…are you still with me?

Here’s what Gladwell is saying:  People rarely make decisions as a product of long deliberation.  They make take weeks to announce a decision but often make the decision in minutes, perhaps seconds.

People do not gather data to make a decision;
they often gather it to JUSTIFY their decision!

They are not accumulating understanding; they are seeking comfort and support.  Most decisions are made, and then justified, rather than the other way around.

Therefore, that leads me to one obvious implication: “First impressions are really lasting impressions.”  The first impression, with startling frequency, is also the FINAL DECISION.

HERE’S THE POINT:
The first thing to plan for is your first impression.
Why, once a mind is made up, seldom does it change.

Has anyone judged you based on their first impression?

Have you ever judged someone based on your first impression?

Why:  The point here is to test your ability to communicate complex ideas in simple language.

In my opinion, the problem with preaching is that most preachers try to be deep instead of being effective.  I know many preachers who are thrilled to spend precious time explaining the syntax and morphology of a word while people are one decision away from moral, financial, relational, & marital ruin.

Additionally, I’ve attended many preaching conferences that’ll declare you’re a heretic if you don’t preach expositionally (and buy their software & books).  Too many preachers are so caught up in trying to impress other preachers or their seminary professors.

PREACHERS: Every single person who sits politely and listens to you on Sunday is one decision away from ruin.  Many are considering options with consequences that will follow them the remainder of their lives.  There they sit.  Waiting.  Hoping.  Doubting.  Anticipating.  What are you going to do?  What are you going to say?  This is the world we have been called to address.

So, what can you do?

WRITE MESSAGES FOR REAL PEOPLE!

Answer the “so why does this matter question” Connect with real life and transform, not just inform.  If it doesn’t help them get through Monday, why preach it?

Let this be the year we decide to direct *SOME* of our messages towards people’s needs. What are they?  I’m glad you asked!

-purpose
-finances
-love
-relationship
-sex/purity
-fear
-friendships
-marriages
-kids
-wounds and shame
-addiction
-failure
-conflict
-loneliness
-approval
-belief/apologetics/doubts
-hope
-stress

This is the world we have been called to address.  These are the issues we have been called to confront.  There is too much at stake and the great news is the pages of Scripture are filled with principles, narratives, and truth that address each of those needs.  The question you must answer: To what extreme are you willing to go to create a delivery system that will connect with the heart of your audience?

Andy Stanley asks:

Are you willing to abandon a style, an approach, a system that was designed in another era for a culture that no longer exists?  Are you willing to step out of your comfort zone in order to step into the lives God has placed in your care?  Will you consider letting go of your alliterations (The Call…The Crisis…The Conclusion) and acrostics and three-point outlines and talk to people in terms they understand.  Will you, as Andy Stanley suggests, communicate for life change?

Here’s me explaining my message to an eight-year-old:

We all make choices & they make life either good or bad.  The choices you make today & tomorrow will make life fun or bad.  One day you will have to explain to your children why you made that choice – choose wisely!  “Now go and play your X-Box 360 kid!“

A team must be committed to a common vision and purpose, and it must be willing to work in unity for the improvement of the whole rather than the advancement of any one member.

Synergism can be defined as the interaction of elements that, when combined, produce an effect that is greater than the sum of the individual parts.  Therefore, synergy is a joint action that increases the effectiveness of each member of a team.  Synergy is exactly what Jesus had in mind when he chose His twelve disciples.

From a large pool of disciples who were following him, Jesus designated only twelve men who would become his disciples.  This was such a significant decision that the Lord prayed all night to prepare for it (Luke 6:12-13 & Mark 3:14).

Jesus knew that this was the team that would be with Him for the rest of his ministry, and He was prepared to pour Himself unreservedly into their lives.  Jesus’ actions, the unshakable reality of the resurrection and the indwelling power of the Holy Spirit turned a group of men who were characterized by confusion, infighting, and self-interest into a genuinely synergistic team.  Today the church (the body of Christ on earth) is not an organization but an organism that manifests both unity and diversity. 

What does Ephesians 4:4-16 tell us about the dynamics and purpose of this organism, and what do 1 Corinthians 12:12-26 and Romans 12:3-8 tell us about how spiritual gifts contribute to the effectiveness of the groups of believers?