We all have blind spots.  You can’t see them!  We can’t avoid them and probably will never get rid of them!  Seems obvious, but YOU aren’t in the best position to see your blind spots or to know how they are affecting the people you lead and the relationships you’re in.

Here’s what I’m learning as I lead:

Your greatest strengths can also do damage to your team dynamics. You tend to think that everyone values the same things you value and that everyone is good at the same thing that we are good at.

NOT TRUE!

Over the next few weeks I invite you to join me as I read Strength Finder 2.0.  Strengths Finder 2.0 is the follow up to Marcus Buckingham & Donald Clifton’s Now, Discover Your Strengths. The book includes a revamped version of the StrengthsFinder test that shows you not just what your top five strengths are, but also how you rank in the rest of the 34 strengths from Buckingham & Clifton’s model.

I recommend that you get the Strength Finder’s book. It’s a great tool to have on your shelf.  After reading the book and completing the Strength Finder survey, I will post my results and encourage you to do the same.  I hope this discussion will encourage you to become more aware of your own blind spots.  Please join me on this amazing journey.

Are you up for the challenge?

Quick – Who makes the best pound cake in the world?

My Aunt Doretha used to make the best pound cake in the whole world. It was so rich and creamy. I remember visiting my Aunt Doretha one summer and she explained to me that it was called a pound cake because it used a pound of butter and a pound of sugar (talk about busting the diet). Although it may not have been healthy, it sure was delicious! As I reflect on my aunt’s recipe, I wonder if the pound cake would lose its taste if one of the MAJOR ingredients (sugar or butter) were missing? Would it remain rich and creamy or morph into chewy disaster?

In today’s politics, both Democrats & Republicans demonize those who attempt to move to the middle in an attempt to forge compromises and solve problems that meet the needs of all. We all suffer from this polarization. We desperately need more leaders in Washington who can collaborate.

Google gives an example of what could happen if people would collaborate:

To improve collaboration with others, there may be no greater source for “how to” than Dale Carnegie’s 1936 classic How To Win Friends and Influence People. The principles are timeless. Some of the techniques we can each use to strengthen our collaborations with others include:

1. Become genuinely interested in other people. Take the time to ask them about themselves, their points of view, their histories.
2. Be a good listener. Remembering we’ve been given two ears and one mouth, and using them in that ratio, is a great first step. Let others do the majority of the talking. Put yourself in the “reverent” listening mode, like the person you are speaking with is telling you the most important thing in the world. No multi-tasking while listening. No trying to get in a word edge wise.
3. Be empathetic. Try honestly to see things from the other’s point of view. Repeat key points of what you’ve heard. Even if you don’t agree with the idea, paraphrase your understanding of their thoughts and needs and refrain from judging.
4. Be open, supportive and encouraging in your collaborations with others. Encourage diverse perspectives. Seek to understand. Be optimistic and supportive when hearing other points-of-view.

In my humble opinion, there’s something wrong with leaders from every walk of life. It appears we’ve lost the art of collaboration. It’s the missing ingredient we all need if we’re to be successful in life!

Do you currently practice collaboration with others? If so, how? If not, why?

Think of Roots, The Titanic, or The Book of Eli.

For that matter, think of their characters: LeVar Burton in Roots, Jack Dawson in The Titanic, or Denzel Washington in The Book of Eli.  What do they have in common?  All are GREAT stories and all GREAT stories and have a hero.  Additionally, their stories possess two key elements you should incorporate into your story:

1. A serious challenge
2. A hero dealing with challenges and learning something as a result

It’s easy to see why most stories fail.  Try this story from a typical church conference speaker:

My wife and I started this church in 19xx with a few people and a heart to win lost people to Jesus (they leave out the part where millionaire donors foot most of the bill).  Today, we are a thriving mega-church with 15 campuses and a $20 million budget.  We host conferences, trainings, and training resources to help you get to where we are (not stated – but implied).  We are #6 on Church Growth Today’s list of the fastest growing churches in America.

It’s an impressive story, but there’s a problem:

IT’S NOT A GOOD STORY &
IT HAS THE WRONG HERO!

If you want your friends, family, church members (pastors), colleagues, or clients to identify with your story, you must do what great story tellers do:

HELP THEM IDENTIFY WITH YOUR HERO!

Trust me: People won’t readily identify with you, your church, or your company/business for a simple reason:

YOU ARE NOT, AND NEVER CAN BE,
THEIR HERO!

Instead, they are their heroes.  People identify with themselves; they want solutions to their problems.  Unfortunately, they are not interested in helping you reach your goals.  Instead, they are interested in making their own lives better.

The ideal story talks about the person, not about you, your church (pastors), or your company/business.  It puts the listener in that hero’s shoes, and creates tension around some challenge that faced the hero.  Your best stories are not about you; they are about them.  Tell stories that make people the heroes and help them identify with them.  Then they will see how you can help them!  It’s a tough task, but, you can do it!

Did I challenge you to change your story?
If so, how?  If not, why?