We all have blind spots.  You can’t see them!  We can’t avoid them and probably will never get rid of them!  Seems obvious, but YOU aren’t in the best position to see your blind spots or to know how they are affecting the people you lead and the relationships you’re in.

Here’s what I’m learning as I lead:

Your greatest strengths can also do damage to your team dynamics. You tend to think that everyone values the same things you value and that everyone is good at the same thing that we are good at.

NOT TRUE!

Over the next few weeks I invite you to join me as I read Strength Finder 2.0.  Strengths Finder 2.0 is the follow up to Marcus Buckingham & Donald Clifton’s Now, Discover Your Strengths. The book includes a revamped version of the StrengthsFinder test that shows you not just what your top five strengths are, but also how you rank in the rest of the 34 strengths from Buckingham & Clifton’s model.

I recommend that you get the Strength Finder’s book. It’s a great tool to have on your shelf.  After reading the book and completing the Strength Finder survey, I will post my results and encourage you to do the same.  I hope this discussion will encourage you to become more aware of your own blind spots.  Please join me on this amazing journey.

Are you up for the challenge?

My Aunt Doretha used to make the best pound cake in the whole world. It was so rich and creamy. I remember visiting my Aunt Doretha one summer and she explained to me that it was called a pound cake because it used a pound of butter and a pound of sugar (talk about busting the diet). Although it may not have been healthy, it sure was delicious! As I reflect on my aunt’s recipe, I wonder if the pound cake would lose its taste if one of the MAJOR ingredients (sugar or butter) were missing? Would it remain rich and creamy or morph into chewy disaster?

In today’s politics, both Democrats & Republicans demonize those who attempt to move to the middle in an attempt to forge compromises and solve problems that meet the needs of all. We all suffer from this polarization. We desperately need more leaders in Washington who can collaborate.

Google gives an example of what could happen if people would collaborate:

To improve collaboration with others, there may be no greater source for “how to” than Dale Carnegie’s 1936 classic How To Win Friends and Influence People. The principles are timeless. Some of the techniques we can each use to strengthen our collaborations with others include:

1. Become genuinely interested in other people. Take the time to ask them about themselves, their points of view, their histories.
2. Be a good listener. Remembering we’ve been given two ears and one mouth, and using them in that ratio, is a great first step. Let others do the majority of the talking. Put yourself in the “reverent” listening mode, like the person you are speaking with is telling you the most important thing in the world. No multi-tasking while listening. No trying to get in a word edge wise.
3. Be empathetic. Try honestly to see things from the other’s point of view. Repeat key points of what you’ve heard. Even if you don’t agree with the idea, paraphrase your understanding of their thoughts and needs and refrain from judging.
4. Be open, supportive and encouraging in your collaborations with others. Encourage diverse perspectives. Seek to understand. Be optimistic and supportive when hearing other points-of-view.

In my humble opinion, there’s something wrong with leaders from every walk of life. It appears we’ve lost the art of collaboration. It’s the missing ingredient we all need if we’re to be successful in life!

Do you currently practice collaboration with others? If so, how? If not, why?

For that matter, think of their characters: LeVar Burton in Roots, Jack Dawson in The Titanic, or Denzel Washington in The Book of Eli.  What do they have in common?  All are GREAT stories and all GREAT stories and have a hero.  Additionally, their stories possess two key elements you should incorporate into your story:

1. A serious challenge
2. A hero dealing with challenges and learning something as a result

It’s easy to see why most stories fail.  Try this story from a typical church conference speaker:

My wife and I started this church in 19xx with a few people and a heart to win lost people to Jesus (they leave out the part where millionaire donors foot most of the bill).  Today, we are a thriving mega-church with 15 campuses and a $20 million budget.  We host conferences, trainings, and training resources to help you get to where we are (not stated – but implied).  We are #6 on Church Growth Today’s list of the fastest growing churches in America.

It’s an impressive story, but there’s a problem:

IT’S NOT A GOOD STORY &
IT HAS THE WRONG HERO!

If you want your friends, family, church members (pastors), colleagues, or clients to identify with your story, you must do what great story tellers do:

HELP THEM IDENTIFY WITH YOUR HERO!

Trust me: People won’t readily identify with you, your church, or your company/business for a simple reason:

YOU ARE NOT, AND NEVER CAN BE,
THEIR HERO!

Instead, they are their heroes.  People identify with themselves; they want solutions to their problems.  Unfortunately, they are not interested in helping you reach your goals.  Instead, they are interested in making their own lives better.

The ideal story talks about the person, not about you, your church (pastors), or your company/business.  It puts the listener in that hero’s shoes, and creates tension around some challenge that faced the hero.  Your best stories are not about you; they are about them.  Tell stories that make people the heroes and help them identify with them.  Then they will see how you can help them!  It’s a tough task, but, you can do it!

Did I challenge you to change your story?
If so, how?  If not, why?

We think we know: Each was a natural who came into the world with a gift for doing exactly what he ended up doing.  Guess what, I found the secret to their success and because I want you to succeed, I’m ready to share my discovery with the entire world.  I’m about the let you in on a secret that has the potential to revolutionize your life!

Shhhh…Lean Closer….

Here it is:

THERE ARE NO SHORTCUTS TO SUCCESS.  PERIOD!

Nobody is great without hard work!

Researchers have identified what they call the ten-year rule when it comes to becoming a world-class performer.  In 2006, Fortune Magazine published, “What It Takes to be Great” which coined the phrase “Performance Principle.”  The Performance Principle says that it takes a long time to be an overnight success.  Furthermore, the author goes on to say, “Even the most accomplished people need around ten years of hard work before becoming world-class…”  This pattern is so well established researchers call it the ten-year rule.  In short, what they and others have discovered: There are not shortcuts!

The best people in any field are those who devote the most hours to what the researchers call “deliberate practice.”  It’s activity that’s explicitly intended to improve performance, that reaches for objectives just beyond one’s level of competence, provides feedback on results and involves high levels of repetition.

Fortune magazine gives this example:

Simply hitting a bucket of balls is not deliberate practice, which is why most golfers don’t get better.  Hitting an eight-iron 300 times with a goal of leaving the ball within 20 feet of the pin 80 percent of the time, continually observing results and making appropriate adjustments, and doing that for hours every day – that’s deliberate practice.

Have you ever been tempted to take shortcuts?  Did you?  What were the results?

Two ways: SIMPLIFY and CLARIFY!

Recently, I accompanied Shauntai (my wife) to the grocery store and was quickly overwhelmed with how many brands and types of toothpaste there were.  In the typical Target store, you confront rows of over sixty options, including pastes with whitener, tartar control, breath-freshening, baking powder, tube and pump, in over a dozen different brands (what ever happened to just plain ole Crest) .

Let’s be honest: We all FEEL overwhelmed. Our DVD players have more functions that we can learn.  When something goes wrong, few of us know what to do.

Additionally, we ARE overwhelmed. Everyone you deal with is overwhelmed.  Whatever you want to communicate to them, you must learn to do it simply and clearly.

The first rule in communication is:
Communicate so that you cannot be misunderstood.

Clarity inspires trust. We worry about the opposite: we fear that people we do not understand may be concealing something.  We suspect the confusion might be a smoke screen, intended to keep us from the truth.

Clarity inspires faith. We assume, as jurors assume when they hear expert witnesses, that a person who communicates clearly understands her subject.  I remember reading somewhere where a leading jury conslulting firm discovered that people regard “clarity” as the signal trait of a true expert!

Here’s The Point:
Make yourself clearer, and people will think you’re an expert.

What tips do you have to share that’ll help others to simplify and clarify their message/product/service?

The author describes the main subject of his book as “thin-slicing:” our ability to gauge what is really important from a very narrow period of experience.  In other words, spontaneous decisions are often as good as—or even better than—carefully planned and considered ones.   Gladwell explains how an expert’s ability to “thin slice” can be corrupted by their likes and dislikes, prejudices and stereotypes.

Whew, that was pretty heavy.
Take a deep breath…relax…are you still with me?

Here’s what Gladwell is saying:  People rarely make decisions as a product of long deliberation.  They make take weeks to announce a decision but often make the decision in minutes, perhaps seconds.

People do not gather data to make a decision;
they often gather it to JUSTIFY their decision!

They are not accumulating understanding; they are seeking comfort and support.  Most decisions are made, and then justified, rather than the other way around.

Therefore, that leads me to one obvious implication: “First impressions are really lasting impressions.”  The first impression, with startling frequency, is also the FINAL DECISION.

HERE’S THE POINT:
The first thing to plan for is your first impression.
Why, once a mind is made up, seldom does it change.

Has anyone judged you based on their first impression?

Have you ever judged someone based on your first impression?

The reason that many successful people had mentors is that people destined to succeed ATTRACT all kings of people, including mentors.  They attract mentors, fans, followers, and even HATERS.  So the way to attract a mentor is to display those traits that will lead you to success anyway.  Like begets like.  Birds of a feather flock together.  Will a mentor lead you there?  Perhaps.  Will one help you in some smaller way?  No Doubt.

Here’s my advice: Don’t seek just ONE mentor.  Instead, focus on doing the things that might attract people, including mentors.  If you do find a mentor, make sure you include others.  Remember, mentors are people, people are fallible, and even gifted doctors misdiagnose.  Fortunately in many of those cases, the patient sought second and third opinions.  YOU SHOULD TOO!

Having just one mentor is overrated;
having several is not.

What do you think?  Do you agree or disagree?

FYI: I thinking about starting a mentoring group this Spring.  If you are interested and live in the greater Chicago area—please email me (urban.pastor@gmail.com) and I will outline the details for you.

Here’s a fact: Those who are comfortable with the status quo do not grow!

This is because remaining in a comfort zone encourages people to do the BARE MINIMUM.  Thus, their only goal is to keep things the same way they’ve always been.  To become successful (according to your predetermined standards of success) you must be willing to push yourself outside your safety zone over and over again.  In other words, you must plan to escape from the “Prison of Comfort.”

Realize that your comfort zone is holding you back – then step outside of it!

Pushing your limits is like stretching your body.  You will know it’s working when you start to feel uncomfortable.  When you feel that twinge, be assured that you are inching your way closer to your ultimate goal.  Let this be the year you decide to break free from the “Prison of Comfort.”  I know you may be afraid, but, I’m encouraging you to be bold and courageous.  I once heard someone say, “Courage is not the absence of fear; It’s moving ahead in spite of your fears.”

What would you do if you knew for sure that you would not fail?

So Who Are You?

Like every organization, every person has a dozen good stories that reveal that person.  Stories move people. Stories excite people. Stories change people.  Your task is to write your story – the true story.  Ask for input from someone who knows you well; someone who can give you perspective.  Start there.  Get help, if necessary, but do it TODAY!

What Do You Do?

Most banks (Pre-Mortgage Crisis Meltdown) almost always ask this question of organizations that come to them for money.  It’s a simple question, but the answers often are not.  You must answer simply, too.  Otherwise you will confuse people.  If it sounds like you do many things, or too many seemingly unrelated things, people will assume you cannot do any of them well.  Here’s an assignment: Ask and answer “What do you do?”  Show it to four people whose opinion you value and ask them:

1. Is it clear?
2. Is it simple?

What Difference You Are Making?

Can you describe what difference you are making in three sentences or less?  Are you ready for this challenge?  Marketers often refer to the necessity of defining one’s “point of difference.”  You must not merely answer what makes you different, but how what you do makes a difference for others.  Ask and answer “What difference am I making?”  Show it to four people whose opinion you value and demand they be ruthlessly tough with their answers.

There are other questions, too; I doubt this list is exhaustive.  But I think I have covered the major ones.

Question: What other life-changing questions do you currently ask?

People all over the country are choosing to move their money out of bigger banks and into smaller, community-oriented financial institutions that generally avoided the reckless investments and schemes that helped cause the financial crisis.

Fueled by the personal initiatives of thousands, it’s a grassroots effort that has the potential to shift power in the financial system away from Wall Street and to Our Street.  Keith Olbermann of MSNBC got behind the Move Your Money campaign on his show.  He believes: “It’s time to make those Too Big To Fail banks just a little bit smaller by moving your money to a local credit union or community bank.”

Stephanie Frost decided that she had been mistreated at her big bank for too long and enough is enough — she’s switching to a small financial institution.  She filmed herself going to close her account and posted the video to YouTube:

The Move Your Money Movement
…For the people, by the people…

Dr. Reynaldo Anderson, my fraternity brother posed this question on Facebook: What would happen if churches got behind this movement?  As I pondered that question, I estimate church goers give BILLIONS to their churches each year.

Additionally, I’m sure most of it is deposited into bailed-out banks – the same banks that refuse to lend to our members & their small businesses.  Imagine what would happen if Protestants, Catholics (net worth estimated @ $1 trillion or more), & all other religions were to band together and MOVE OUR MONEY!  I guarantee they’ll call us in for a congressional hearing.

Rey, I’m on it!