My Aunt Doretha used to make the best pound cake in the whole world. It was so rich and creamy. I remember visiting my Aunt Doretha one summer and she explained to me that it was called a pound cake because it used a pound of butter and a pound of sugar (talk about busting the diet). Although it may not have been healthy, it sure was delicious! As I reflect on my aunt’s recipe, I wonder if the pound cake would lose its taste if one of the MAJOR ingredients (sugar or butter) were missing? Would it remain rich and creamy or morph into chewy disaster?

In today’s politics, both Democrats & Republicans demonize those who attempt to move to the middle in an attempt to forge compromises and solve problems that meet the needs of all. We all suffer from this polarization. We desperately need more leaders in Washington who can collaborate.

Google gives an example of what could happen if people would collaborate:

To improve collaboration with others, there may be no greater source for “how to” than Dale Carnegie’s 1936 classic How To Win Friends and Influence People. The principles are timeless. Some of the techniques we can each use to strengthen our collaborations with others include:

1. Become genuinely interested in other people. Take the time to ask them about themselves, their points of view, their histories.
2. Be a good listener. Remembering we’ve been given two ears and one mouth, and using them in that ratio, is a great first step. Let others do the majority of the talking. Put yourself in the “reverent” listening mode, like the person you are speaking with is telling you the most important thing in the world. No multi-tasking while listening. No trying to get in a word edge wise.
3. Be empathetic. Try honestly to see things from the other’s point of view. Repeat key points of what you’ve heard. Even if you don’t agree with the idea, paraphrase your understanding of their thoughts and needs and refrain from judging.
4. Be open, supportive and encouraging in your collaborations with others. Encourage diverse perspectives. Seek to understand. Be optimistic and supportive when hearing other points-of-view.

In my humble opinion, there’s something wrong with leaders from every walk of life. It appears we’ve lost the art of collaboration. It’s the missing ingredient we all need if we’re to be successful in life!

Do you currently practice collaboration with others? If so, how? If not, why?

A leader must develop a disciplined and prudent character so that they will do what’s right, just, & fair.  The rub comes when the leader doesn’t know what is just right, and fair.  That’s why Solomon cautioned that ‘inexperienced’ leaders need wisdom.  Proverbs isn’t a decision-making textbook, but this wisdom-packed book is God’s gift to help us make the best decisions possible.

Proverbs 1:1-6 informs us that the proverbs to follow will help the reader develop the mental sharpness needed to process complex information.  Even though technology helps us gather and manipulate information, a sharp mind must still apply solid logic to that information in order to make good decisions.

The proverbs help us to accomplish this goal in a godly manner.  They sharpen the mind and reveal God’s insight to ensure that our decisions may be in sync with his eternal perspective.  Therefore, I encourage to read these verses again, this time including verse 7.  Then study the Book of Proverbs as a foundation for exceptional decisions making.

Question: Have you ever made decisions without consulting God?  If so, what was the outcome?

As I age gracefully, I’m learning to appreciate and use the limited time I have.  Twenty years ago, I began to set aside an hour each weekend and ponder this question: What is the purpose of my life?  Here’s a book I recommend to get you started.  Afterwards, I would take notes & craft sentences that describe my life’s purpose.  I encourage you to try this – it really works!

Next, ask yourself how each part of your life (work, friends, family, hobbies) align with or relates to that purpose.  Again, write it down.  Are you spending your time on things that will help you achieve your purpose?  If not, you know you have to make changes.  When your actions are at odds with your goals, you need to make the slight, necessary adjustments.

This may seem like a simple exercise, but very few people do it.  The truth is you probably already know your purpose and goals.  But you may have pushed them off to the side.  Or you may not have aligned your daily actions with your long-term goals.  Doing this exercise will help you to do so.

A few minutes of quite reflection can give your life the clarity and sense of purpose you may lack. To keep your day-to-day choices in sync with your life’s purpose, take a moment to consider your purpose before you make any major decisions or take on any new responsibilities. It will help you remember the precious importance of every second.

Are you up for the challenge?  Do you know your purpose?  I’d love to hear about it!

Last Sunday, over 101 million people (surpassed the season finale of M.A.S.H.) tuned in and saw a great game.  Additionally, I’m led to believe the majority of those watching were equally interested in the commercials.  Many commercials made me laugh out loud (David Letterman, Oprah Winfrey, and Jay Leno & The E-Trade babies), while others confused me (men walking around in their underwear).

In my opinion, Google is the winner… Never thought a search engine would create emotion with a story just from searching…BRILLIANT!  You’ll notice the ad needs no catchy music, artwork, or flashy tricks to tell its story. They’re no gimmicks, no celebrity endorsement, no Photoshopped images, or any dubbed voices.

It’s the simplest of stories: A guy gets a girl.
Even shows you that you don’t have to know how to spell Louvre.

Here’s what I learned from Google’s ad:

1. Their ad was simple
2. Their ad showed the power of their product by demonstrating it
3. Their ad told an entire story
4. The Google logo was seen throughout. (Kinda nice to know who the actual advertiser is.)

What were your favorite Superbowl ads & what lessons did you learn from them?

For that matter, think of their characters: LeVar Burton in Roots, Jack Dawson in The Titanic, or Denzel Washington in The Book of Eli.  What do they have in common?  All are GREAT stories and all GREAT stories and have a hero.  Additionally, their stories possess two key elements you should incorporate into your story:

1. A serious challenge
2. A hero dealing with challenges and learning something as a result

It’s easy to see why most stories fail.  Try this story from a typical church conference speaker:

My wife and I started this church in 19xx with a few people and a heart to win lost people to Jesus (they leave out the part where millionaire donors foot most of the bill).  Today, we are a thriving mega-church with 15 campuses and a $20 million budget.  We host conferences, trainings, and training resources to help you get to where we are (not stated – but implied).  We are #6 on Church Growth Today’s list of the fastest growing churches in America.

It’s an impressive story, but there’s a problem:

IT’S NOT A GOOD STORY &
IT HAS THE WRONG HERO!

If you want your friends, family, church members (pastors), colleagues, or clients to identify with your story, you must do what great story tellers do:

HELP THEM IDENTIFY WITH YOUR HERO!

Trust me: People won’t readily identify with you, your church, or your company/business for a simple reason:

YOU ARE NOT, AND NEVER CAN BE,
THEIR HERO!

Instead, they are their heroes.  People identify with themselves; they want solutions to their problems.  Unfortunately, they are not interested in helping you reach your goals.  Instead, they are interested in making their own lives better.

The ideal story talks about the person, not about you, your church (pastors), or your company/business.  It puts the listener in that hero’s shoes, and creates tension around some challenge that faced the hero.  Your best stories are not about you; they are about them.  Tell stories that make people the heroes and help them identify with them.  Then they will see how you can help them!  It’s a tough task, but, you can do it!

Did I challenge you to change your story?
If so, how?  If not, why?

Two ways: SIMPLIFY and CLARIFY!

Recently, I accompanied Shauntai (my wife) to the grocery store and was quickly overwhelmed with how many brands and types of toothpaste there were.  In the typical Target store, you confront rows of over sixty options, including pastes with whitener, tartar control, breath-freshening, baking powder, tube and pump, in over a dozen different brands (what ever happened to just plain ole Crest) .

Let’s be honest: We all FEEL overwhelmed. Our DVD players have more functions that we can learn.  When something goes wrong, few of us know what to do.

Additionally, we ARE overwhelmed. Everyone you deal with is overwhelmed.  Whatever you want to communicate to them, you must learn to do it simply and clearly.

The first rule in communication is:
Communicate so that you cannot be misunderstood.

Clarity inspires trust. We worry about the opposite: we fear that people we do not understand may be concealing something.  We suspect the confusion might be a smoke screen, intended to keep us from the truth.

Clarity inspires faith. We assume, as jurors assume when they hear expert witnesses, that a person who communicates clearly understands her subject.  I remember reading somewhere where a leading jury conslulting firm discovered that people regard “clarity” as the signal trait of a true expert!

Here’s The Point:
Make yourself clearer, and people will think you’re an expert.

What tips do you have to share that’ll help others to simplify and clarify their message/product/service?

The author describes the main subject of his book as “thin-slicing:” our ability to gauge what is really important from a very narrow period of experience.  In other words, spontaneous decisions are often as good as—or even better than—carefully planned and considered ones.   Gladwell explains how an expert’s ability to “thin slice” can be corrupted by their likes and dislikes, prejudices and stereotypes.

Whew, that was pretty heavy.
Take a deep breath…relax…are you still with me?

Here’s what Gladwell is saying:  People rarely make decisions as a product of long deliberation.  They make take weeks to announce a decision but often make the decision in minutes, perhaps seconds.

People do not gather data to make a decision;
they often gather it to JUSTIFY their decision!

They are not accumulating understanding; they are seeking comfort and support.  Most decisions are made, and then justified, rather than the other way around.

Therefore, that leads me to one obvious implication: “First impressions are really lasting impressions.”  The first impression, with startling frequency, is also the FINAL DECISION.

HERE’S THE POINT:
The first thing to plan for is your first impression.
Why, once a mind is made up, seldom does it change.

Has anyone judged you based on their first impression?

Have you ever judged someone based on your first impression?

The reason that many successful people had mentors is that people destined to succeed ATTRACT all kings of people, including mentors.  They attract mentors, fans, followers, and even HATERS.  So the way to attract a mentor is to display those traits that will lead you to success anyway.  Like begets like.  Birds of a feather flock together.  Will a mentor lead you there?  Perhaps.  Will one help you in some smaller way?  No Doubt.

Here’s my advice: Don’t seek just ONE mentor.  Instead, focus on doing the things that might attract people, including mentors.  If you do find a mentor, make sure you include others.  Remember, mentors are people, people are fallible, and even gifted doctors misdiagnose.  Fortunately in many of those cases, the patient sought second and third opinions.  YOU SHOULD TOO!

Having just one mentor is overrated;
having several is not.

What do you think?  Do you agree or disagree?

FYI: I thinking about starting a mentoring group this Spring.  If you are interested and live in the greater Chicago area—please email me (urban.pastor@gmail.com) and I will outline the details for you.

Our leaders met this past Thursday to discuss and discern what God would have us to do corporately regarding the tragedy that rocked Haiti.  Although there are some conservative Christians labeling this as “God’s judgment,” we, however will take the high road & pray prayers bold enough to “WAKE… GOD UP.”   Please click the link for more information & join us!

MHBC Response to Haiti Tragedy 2010

What specifically will you do to respond to this tragedy?

So Who Are You?

Like every organization, every person has a dozen good stories that reveal that person.  Stories move people. Stories excite people. Stories change people.  Your task is to write your story – the true story.  Ask for input from someone who knows you well; someone who can give you perspective.  Start there.  Get help, if necessary, but do it TODAY!

What Do You Do?

Most banks (Pre-Mortgage Crisis Meltdown) almost always ask this question of organizations that come to them for money.  It’s a simple question, but the answers often are not.  You must answer simply, too.  Otherwise you will confuse people.  If it sounds like you do many things, or too many seemingly unrelated things, people will assume you cannot do any of them well.  Here’s an assignment: Ask and answer “What do you do?”  Show it to four people whose opinion you value and ask them:

1. Is it clear?
2. Is it simple?

What Difference You Are Making?

Can you describe what difference you are making in three sentences or less?  Are you ready for this challenge?  Marketers often refer to the necessity of defining one’s “point of difference.”  You must not merely answer what makes you different, but how what you do makes a difference for others.  Ask and answer “What difference am I making?”  Show it to four people whose opinion you value and demand they be ruthlessly tough with their answers.

There are other questions, too; I doubt this list is exhaustive.  But I think I have covered the major ones.

Question: What other life-changing questions do you currently ask?