My Aunt Doretha used to make the best pound cake in the whole world. It was so rich and creamy. I remember visiting my Aunt Doretha one summer and she explained to me that it was called a pound cake because it used a pound of butter and a pound of sugar (talk about busting the diet). Although it may not have been healthy, it sure was delicious! As I reflect on my aunt’s recipe, I wonder if the pound cake would lose its taste if one of the MAJOR ingredients (sugar or butter) were missing? Would it remain rich and creamy or morph into chewy disaster?

In today’s politics, both Democrats & Republicans demonize those who attempt to move to the middle in an attempt to forge compromises and solve problems that meet the needs of all. We all suffer from this polarization. We desperately need more leaders in Washington who can collaborate.

Google gives an example of what could happen if people would collaborate:

To improve collaboration with others, there may be no greater source for “how to” than Dale Carnegie’s 1936 classic How To Win Friends and Influence People. The principles are timeless. Some of the techniques we can each use to strengthen our collaborations with others include:

1. Become genuinely interested in other people. Take the time to ask them about themselves, their points of view, their histories.
2. Be a good listener. Remembering we’ve been given two ears and one mouth, and using them in that ratio, is a great first step. Let others do the majority of the talking. Put yourself in the “reverent” listening mode, like the person you are speaking with is telling you the most important thing in the world. No multi-tasking while listening. No trying to get in a word edge wise.
3. Be empathetic. Try honestly to see things from the other’s point of view. Repeat key points of what you’ve heard. Even if you don’t agree with the idea, paraphrase your understanding of their thoughts and needs and refrain from judging.
4. Be open, supportive and encouraging in your collaborations with others. Encourage diverse perspectives. Seek to understand. Be optimistic and supportive when hearing other points-of-view.

In my humble opinion, there’s something wrong with leaders from every walk of life. It appears we’ve lost the art of collaboration. It’s the missing ingredient we all need if we’re to be successful in life!

Do you currently practice collaboration with others? If so, how? If not, why?

Don Bennett was the first amputee to climb Mt. Rainier.  His testimony is simple – if you try such a feat with only one leg, “you can’t do it alone.”  However, Bennett understood that not just anyone could help.  Bennett did not recruit his helpers in a nursing home.  He built a team of people who WANTED to climb a 14,410-foot peak and who COULD climb a 14,410-foot peak.  One who attempts mighty feats had better be capable of recruiting a mighty team.

David did just that.  His was one of the most celebrated teams in the entire Old Testament.  This group was the all-star team of his battle-hardened warriors.  Several things stand out as we consider how David pulled his team together.

First, he spent time with them in battle. These men were welded to David by the hot fires of battle.  His inner circle consisted of those men who had fought alongside him.  He knew their capabilities, because he had seen what they could do with their own eyes.

Second, he sacrificed for them. When three of his mighty men risked their lives to obtain drinking water for him during a battle, David refused to drink it, choosing instead to pour it out onto the ground (vv. 13-17).  That act of sacrifice communicated a depth of devotion and love that had to have impressed those warriors.

Third, they enjoyed victory together. Time and time again David and his mighty men faced seemingly insurmountable odds and saw God deliver them.

Finally, David honored them. These men were well known throughout the land as “David’s Mighty Men.”  That phrase served as a banner that set them as extraordinary.  As you read this account, one thing becomes clear: David knew he couldn’t do it alone.

We all have done things like starting a business with no business plan.  Quitting a regular and somewhat satisfying job to get back to our millionaire dreams.  For me decision making was always simple and fast.  “Just follow the heart.” I never cared to think if it was right or wrong and I don’t allow myself to regret past decision or choices.  This rule of thumb allowed me to make decisions which at times others thought were crazy and outrageous (at least I was happy).  Following your heart is like a roller-coaster ride and we can safely admit we enjoy it.

While it may not be specifically true, the heart has been considered the seat of our emotions. Within the heart is located a still, small, voice that some refer to as our conscience.

The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it?  Jeremiah 17:9

According to Jeremiah 17:9, the heart serves as a metaphor for the human will and emotions.  The author describes it as deceitful; like a tortuous, uneven, and crooked bad road.  Furthermore, he describes it as desperately sick & medically incurable.  God makes it very clear why we sin – it’s a matter of the heart.

Our hearts have been inclined toward sin and from time we were born.  Therefore, it cannot be completely trusted.  The heart must be balanced with the head.   I no longer live by the mantra, “just follow your heart.”

Here’s why:

“Your heart can’t be trusted. The truth is, if you let it, your heart will direct you down a path that leads to the very spot you most want to avoid.”

Following our heart can take us on some good paths and some bad paths.  People say, “just follow your heart and it won’t lead you wrong.”  Well, sometime it will and sometime it won’t.  We all make decisions everyday.  Some we have to give a lot of thought and lots of prayer.  So, when someone says, “follow your heart,” that is not always the best thing to do.

So, what do I think of the statement: “follow your heart,” It’s a good statement if you have received a new heart and you are constantly filling it with the Word of God.  When we tell people to follow their heart, we must know what’s in their heart. Because out of a new heart will flow goodness and out of an old heart will flow evil.

If you follow your heart today, where will you be tomorrow?

Here’s what I’d like for you to do:

ACKNOWLEDGE A MISTAKE HAS BEEN MADE

If your past actions or words have harmed another person an apology may be in order.  Nobody is perfect and we all make mistakes.  Continually berating yourself for past actions is self-defeating.  Righting a wrong is not always feasible.  If you feel badly about a past action, forgive yourself, others, and let it go and move on!

Racism still exists (even in the church)
That’s right, I said it!

Americans may be poised to elect an African-American as president, but it’s segregation as usual in U.S. churches, according to the scholars.  Only about 5 percent of the nation’s churches are racially integrated, and half of them are in the process of becoming all-black or all-white, says Curtiss Paul DeYoung, co-author of United by Faith, a book that examines interracial churches in the United States.

Personally, I do not believe integrated churches work.
(when they are led by Black pastors)

Having a determined pastor is not enough.  Interracial churches can also implode on issues far more explosive than worship styles — like interracial dating & power.  Some scholars and leaders who deal with interracial issues say it’s not unusual for parents in racially-mixed churches to leave when their teenage kids begin dating.

Some parents talked about the importance of a multiracial church, until their kid became attracted to someone from another race within the church.  As kids began to date, some things get revealed.  They (both Blacks and Whites) don’t want their kids involved in interracial dating.

Next, accepting black leadership is another touchy subject.  Most interracial churches are led by white pastors.  A congregation typically becomes all-black if a black pastor is hired, says DeYoung, the United by Faith co-author.  As long as the top person, the senior pastor, is white, power sort of resides with whites.  But when that shifts, it does something psychologically to people.  White people usually leave.

Black pastors who do gain the acceptance of interracial congregations still have to watch themselves.  Some white parishioners, even progressive ones, get uneasy when a black pastor gets too fiery in the pulpit.  A black church sermon that could be understood as impassioned might be interpreted as angry and defensive by a white congregation.

Most Black preachers who minister in predominately White congregations must modified their preaching style to appeal to all sorts of people.  Many abandon the pulpit pyrotechnics they learned growing up in the black church.  They also carry their authority lightly, dressing casually in the pulpit and consulting with church committees before making decisions.   In conversation, they’re relaxed and accessible.

Honestly, I’m quite comfortable serving the congregation God prepared for me.  Each Sunday I preach with passion and enjoy how we “do church.”  I have no desire to modify my preaching style (White preachers don’t modify theirs) to appeal to all sorts of people.  As the point-man at Mars Hill Baptist Church, I don’t carry my authority lightly or dress casually so I can “fit in” with everyone.  Quite frankly, I “do me.”

Holla back!

In 1991, Spike Lee released his fifth feature-length film Jungle Fever.  The plot centers on the interracial romance between a successfully married Black, played by Wesley Snipes, and an Italian woman played by Anabella Sciorra.  The lovers come under intense pressure from their friends and family as a result of their interracial relationship.  It’s no secret that even today, interracial relationships are still under intense scrutiny – even when it comes to attending church.

For most of white America, the black church is an alien segment of the nation’s culture, hidden behind the plain facades of large brick churches, the rude clapboard of country chapels, the salvation-emblazoned windows of tattered storefronts.  It is a montage of impressions, some real, some misleading the low-moaning spirituals, the clapping and the shouted amens; the phenomenon of a Bishop TD Jakes and the curious charisma once possessed the Rev. Adam Clayton Powell; the prophetic, nation-shaking philosophy of a Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. and the pragmatic, neighborhood-building politics of a Rev. Jesse Jackson.

There are almost 20 million black Christians in the U.S., and by far the majority find their faith and spiritual comfort in churches and denominations of their own making.  These churches were the first black institutions in the nation: they are still, by every measure, the largest.  Today they reflect the struggle of U.S. blacks for their rightful place in society, and the leaders of those churches differ widely in the role they see for the Black Christian in this struggle.  But whether radical, conservative or moderately liberal, they generally agree that the black church holds a unique place in American society.

Often I question if blacks and whites worship together as equals?  Honestly, at the present time I don’t think so.  Being one in Christ means that all the spiritual things we do are one and the same in Christ, right?  Think again!  A person’s cultural background makes a big difference.  Consequently, one’s culture presents difficult hurdle to conquer.

Cultural Barrier: Blacks and Whites Have Different Worship Styles

Black Christian worship style radically different from whites.  Black people tend to worship with their whole being: body, soul and spirit.  Our worship music stems from our African cultural roots.  So be it fast, up-tempo, with a rhythmic beat; or slower, steadier, with a lot of harmony and a groove, it is music that can be felt and experienced deep within our soul.  Some of the worship music in some white Christian environments tends to feel monotone and maybe even wordy to some Black Christians.  It tends to engage the mind only, and not the total being.

The person leading the worship plays an important role in the process, too. Whether or not he or she lingers with a song-repeating it several times until its meaning and inspiration can be felt within, affects the depth of the whole worship experience.  Sometimes white worship feels rather shallow to Black Christians.  Many are accustomed to either gospel music, gospel R & B, gospel jazz or gospel rap and hip hop.  Hymns in a Black tradition often have a gospel or soulful sound.

What’s your take?

NEXT TOPIC: PREACHING

When you leave a job, church, organization, for whatever reason, be sure to leave on good terms; you never know when you will need to contact or utilize former employers or co-workers for recommendations or networking purposes. 

If you leave with an attitude of "good riddance," others will not be inclined to maintain a relationship with you.  Wishing other well, providing your personal contact information, and making every effort to stay in touch are great ways to leave lines of communication open. 

 

So what does all of this mean to you: DON'T NETWORK JUST TO NETWORK!  Whittle down your contacts to the most fruitful ones.  Then rank them according to their importance until you've created 1st, 2nd, & 3rd tier networks. 

While attending grad school @ The University of Missouri I joined
Toastmasters (great networking opportunity & our church has a
chapter).  While there, I ran across fellow
Toastmaster Jim Nudelman’s 4-step process for writing an Elevator Pitch. 

The Pitch is a 10-15 second focused introduction of your “value proposition” that
can be given in an elevator when someone asks, “tell me about yourself.”

Here’s his process:

Step 1 — Begin with an ACTION PHRASE that is NOT a noun. (”I am a
__________” but don’t use a “label” in the blank.  You don’t want
people to put you in a box.)

Step 2 — Add a one sentence statement about what you DO. (”I do _____________” What do you help people or businesses do?)

Step 3 — Give a statement of the SPECIFIC IMPACT. (”People who utilize my
process find _________” list one or two things from the perspective of your
potential employer.)

Step 4 — End with a CALL TO ACTION. (”I am looking to be introduced to
_______________”  be specific!  If you ask for something non-specific you
are likely to get it.  What good it that?)

Here’s my pitch:

“My name is Clarence Stowers. I am a master of empowering people &
growing leaders.  I teach people how to how to trust God and believe in themselves to accomplish great things.  People who attend our church live empowered
lives and pursue excellence in every area of their lives.  Please introduce me to people who you believe
are living beneath their potential.” 
Thanks!

Let me hear your pitch…