The Most Difficult Job in the World is…

by Clarence E. Stowers | Jul 28, 2008 | Family, Leadership, Parenting

You guessed it – It’s PARENTING!!!

I’ve been thinking alot about parenting lately. Maybe it is because we have three kids at home, ages 6, 11, and 13.  I think everyone would admit that there is a point in a teen’s life
when the influence of his/her parents becomes less, and the influence
of their friends becomes greater.  It seems that the age at which the parents’ influence drops dramatically happens somewhere around 13- to 15-years old.

As I reflected on my life as a child, the influence I perceive that
I have with my own kids, and my informal survey, I charted it like
this…

As a parent, the awareness of loss of influence can be alarming if
you didn’t see it coming. So be warned young parents, I have just given
you a glimpse of the future.

Here is the key learning: Environments matter.  Who
my daughter is influenced by as a 15-year old is dependent greatly on
the environments that my wife and I placed her in as a 10- and 12- and
14-year old.

It’s a little early to tell whether we will survive life with
teenagers, but here is the advice I would give parents of pre-teens…

• Get involved in a great church with strong youth leaders.
• As they start middle school, don’t give them the option to stay home from the youth program.
• Find a school that has strong values and where
  there is good chance they will be able to find solid friends. That
  might mean paying for private school or moving to a better school
  district.
• Get them in situations where they are hanging with young adults who are following God.
• Teach them the joy of serving when they are very young.
• Let them participate in events where there is a good chance they might take a step spiritually.

Oh, and one last word of advice for those with teenagers—stop
lecturing and start listening. Stop giving direction and start asking
questions.

It’s your turn now…is my chart way off?