by Clarence E. Stowers | Jun 19, 2019 | Empowerment, Accountability, Decisions, Encouragement, Excellence, Goals, Motivation, Quotes, Self-Leadership, Success, Vision
In 2005, Steve Jobs, founder of Apple Computer gave the Commencement Speech at Stanford University. Hidden in that speech is a powerful quote that resonates.
He said, “You can't connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something - your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life”.
The idea behind this quote is that, as much as we try to plan our lives ahead in advance, there’s always something that’s completely unpredictable about life that teaches needed lessons. Unfortunately, people wait too long before learning those needed lessons. In today’s post, I’m sharing three of the nine lessons that people learn too late in life.
If you're a teenager, in your early 20s, 30s, or 40s, or if you're just young at heart, I promise you will want to read this 3-part series, and can save yourself from the mistakes that most people make and regret for the rest of their lives. Let's begin the countdown with the ninth lesson, people will criticize you.
“You can't connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future..."
9. People Will Criticize Me, So What?
Regardless of who you are, someone will criticize you. The fear of criticism kills momentum and gets in the way of creating the life that you want. If you're afraid what other people say and think about you, you might as well stay inside and give up now.
Remember this: The more successful you become, the more haters you’ll attract. It’s like that, and that’s the way it is. So, you have to decide who do you want to be. Do you want to live and become your friend, your parents, or somebody else?
Or, do you want to live and create your own life? Remember, don't be afraid of criticism, do the things that you want to do, and live the life that you want to live. Let's continue with the countdown with the eighth lesson, you are responsible for your own happiness.
Remember this: The more successful you become, the more haters you’ll attract.
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8. I Am Responsible For Creating My Own Happiness
Guess what? Happiness is your choice. Unfortunately, a lot of people think that happiness is something that some people have and some don't. But, the truth is, happiness is YOUR choice.
Here are two important truths I’ve discovered about happiness:
- Happiness is not an easy choice.
- It takes a daily work to be happy.
What does progress have to do with happiness? Happiness comes from making progress. If you're making progress towards your goals, you're going to experience happiness. Unfortunately, many people don't learn this until too late in life. Additionally, they may complain about getting the short end of the stick and choose to remain unhappy.
If you want to experience happiness, you have to take consistent daily action towards choosing happiness. Let's conclude today's countdown with the seventh lesson, be yourself.
Happiness comes from making progress. If you're making progress towards your goals, you're going to experience happiness.
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“Don’t rely on someone else for your happiness and self-worth. Only you can be responsible for that.”
7. Be You - Do You
I once heard someone say, “why be a cheap copy when you can be a great original”?
Unfortunately, too many people wait too long to learn this valuable lesson. If you don’t have a firm grip on who you are, you’ll be tempted to borrow and live someone else’s life.
Furthermore, many people (parents, friends, associates, colleagues, etc.) have opinions on who you should be. In fact, they’re willing to offer their unsolicited advice. The sooner you're your own person, the sooner that you're happy with that person. Take Oscar Wilde's advice, “Be yourself; everyone else is already taken".
I trust you found value in today's post and I'd love to hear your feedback on what lessons you've learned.
”You may not control all the events that happen to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them."
by Clarence E. Stowers | Aug 16, 2016 | Encouragement, Book Reviews, Decisions, Empowerment, Leadership, Motivation, Self-Leadership, Success, Vision
Depending on who you ask, success looks different and has many definitions.
Although some define it differently, successful people have common trains. According to Dr. Henry Cloud, author of Never Go Back: 10 Things You’ll Never Do Again,
Successful people have certain realizations, or awakenings, that change the course of their lives forever in a positive way. These realizations are essential to a good life and are both scientifically and spiritually backed.
He describes ten of those awakenings in Never Go Back: 10 Things You’ll Never Do Again. The first awakening, Never Again Return to What Hasen’t Worked hit me like a ton of bricks.
Never Again Return to What Hasn’t Worked
Make sure that if you ‘go back’ [to an old relationship, an old job, an old way of thinking] you’re not going back to the same thing . . . Remember there’s a reason it didn’t work. If you’re going back make very, very sure that reason is no longer there. . . Ask these questions: Am I different in some way that would make this work? Is the other person different in some way that would make this work? Is the situation fundamentally different in some way that would make this work? (pp. 17-18).
Everyone makes mistakes, even the most successful people out there. But, what successful people do better than others is recognize the patterns that are causing those mistakes and never repeat them again. In short, they learn from pain—their own and the pain of others.
[shareable cite=”Dr. Henry Cloud”]Never Again Return to What Hasn’t Worked[/shareable]
I once heard someone say,
A good thing to remember is this: pain is unavoidable, but repeating the same pain twice, when we could choose to learn and do something different, is certainly avoidable.
I’d love to hear your thoughts, do you agree or disagree?
[shareable]Successful people recognize bad patterns and mistakes and never repeat them again. In short, they learn from pain.[/shareable]
by Clarence E. Stowers | Jul 14, 2016 | Encouragement, Christian, Christianity, Current Affairs, Decisions, Empowerment, Leadership, Motivation, Self-Leadership, Success, Vision
What happens when you combine trust, faith, and hope? They produce grit.
According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, grit in the context of behavior is defined as “firmness of character; indomitable spirit.”
In light of the recent deaths of Alton Sterling, Philando Castile, and five Dallas Police Officers, I decided to tweak this definition to be the ability to keep going despite setbacks, even when your efforts are not rewarded. Grit is what you need when facing dark days and sleepless nights.
[shareable]Grit is the ability to keep going despite setbacks even when your efforts aren’t rewarded.[/shareable]
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by Clarence E. Stowers | Jun 23, 2016 | Empowerment, Decisions, Encouragement, Leadership, Self-Leadership, Success, Vision
We’re all living and working in an increasingly fast-paced and ever-changing world.
Succeeding and excelling in today’s world requires you to consider certain traits to be effective. In order to thrive in a fast-changing world, effective leaders make and implement decisions, possess agility, and include others in decision-making. Regardless of their respective industry, effective leaders make decisions and implement strategies to implement their decision.
Making and Implementing Decisions
The critical task of leadership is making decisions. Unfortunately, there’s no way to know the outcome of the decisions we make. Effective Leaders must decide where they’re going and how to get there.
Deciding where to go could be considered the vision. Having the plan to get there is the strategy. Once a leader decides where they’re going and how to get there the next critical task of leadership is implementation.
Ask yourself: What decision am I making and what’s my strategy to implement it?
[shareable]Deciding where to go could be considered the vision. Having the plan to get there is the strategy.[/shareable]
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by Clarence E. Stowers | Dec 17, 2015 | Current Affairs, Decisions, Empowerment, Encouragement, Goals, Motivation, Self-Leadership, Success, Vision
Living in Chicago is, as Charles Dickens says in the Tale of Two Cities, “It was the best of times, it was the worst of times.”
It is the best of times (at least for Christians) because there’s a dark political, moral, and corrupt cloud hovering begging for light (Matthew 5:13-14). It is the worst of times because we’re witnessing some activists, politicians, glory-seekers, and even preachers/pastors clamoring for the spotlight to build their platform. It’s sickening.
Watching this tragic drama unfold reminds me of Tony Gaskins’ quote:
If you don’t build your dream someone will hire you to help build theirs.
According to this quote, if don’t wake up and begin pursuing your dreams, someone will recognize your abilities and recruit you to help build theirs. While there’s absolutely nothing wrong, improper, or illegal about helping others fulfill their dreams, remember God has something He wants you to accomplish that only you can accomplish.
However, it’s possible to work on both at the same time. Everyone has the same thing in common: 24 hours in a day. Since time is passing, why wouldn’t you be working, at least, part-time, on your dreams.
[shareable cite=”Tony Gaskins”]If you don’t build your dream someone will hire you to help build theirs. [/shareable] (more…)
by Clarence E. Stowers | Dec 7, 2015 | Empowerment, Money and Finance, Self-Leadership, Success, Vision
In 2016, our country will elect a new president, and many speculate what America will look like after President Obama’s term expires.
Since I can’t predict the future, the one thing I know for sure is that economic power comes through business ownership, and pride in ownership of property and neighborhoods. Everyone wins when this happens. That’s why I’m compelled to share one of the most amazing TED talks I’ve ever heard by Margarita Anderson.
My Black Year: Margarita Anderson
Margarita Anderson and her family were featured in national headlines as they lived exclusively off Black businesses, professionals, and products for an entire year. Her stand, chronicled in her book, “Our Black Year,” was called The Empowerment Experiment.
Now, she tours the country to increase awareness about economic inequalities that starve Black neighborhoods and deny Black businesses, and how proactive support of these businesses can create jobs and curb crime in America. Check out her video explaining her family’s experience supporting black businesses.
[youtube id=”nFBEoIQutSc”]
Many believe the next Civil Rights Movement will be one of economic empowerment. What do you think?
