The Resilient Journey of Clarence E. Stowers, Sr.: A Tribute to Black Excellence

The Resilient Journey of Clarence E. Stowers, Sr.: A Tribute to Black Excellence

by | Feb 24, 2023 | Black History Month, Empowerment, Encouragement, Excellence, Family, Goals, Motivation, Parenting

Black History Month is a time for us to celebrate the incredible contributions that Black individuals have made to society throughout history.

As Black History Month comes to a close, I hope that my series has been informative and inspiring.

Through highlighting the stories of influential Black individuals, we can gain a better understanding of their impact and significance. If you missed any of the previous installments, don't worry! You can find 3 Unknown Truths of Black History That Will Change Your Perspective Forever - Part 1, Celebrating the Past, Embracing the Future: The Significance of Black History Month - Part 2, and Unsung Heroes: Honoring The Legacy of 5 Unsung Heroes of Black History - Part 3 right here to catch up. 

From the legacy of Martin Luther King Jr. to the contributions of Black scientists and artists, these articles showcase the incredible achievements and resilience of the Black community. Let us continue to honor and celebrate these stories beyond Black History Month and work towards a more just and equitable society for all. 

As we take a moment to reflect on the legacy of those who have paved the way for us, I am proud to share the story of my father, Clarence E. Stowers, Sr. His life is a testament to the resilience, determination, and faith that have defined Black excellence throughout history.

Fleeing the Segregated South: The Beginning of a Remarkable Journey

When my father fled the segregated South at the age of 17, he was doing so to protect his brothers and himself from an angry white mob. This experience was a traumatic one, but it also served as a defining moment in his life.

He knew that he had to take action to protect himself and his loved ones, and in doing so, he set himself on a path that would lead to remarkable achievements.

After fleeing the segregated South and establishing himself in Chicago, my father worked tirelessly to build a new life for himself. He was determined to create a better future, one where he could thrive and succeed despite the adversity he had faced.

After some time in Chicago, he decided to return to Tennessee to bring Margaret Stowers, my mother back with him to Chicago.

I am proud to share the story of my father, Clarence E. Stowers, Sr. His life is a testament to the resilience, determination, and faith that have defined Black excellence throughout history.

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Together, my parents began to build a family and a community that would touch countless lives. It was in Chicago that they built the foundation for the remarkable work that they would go on to accomplish, from founding Mars Hill Baptist Church of Chicago to establishing Mars Hill School.

Through their commitment to faith, family, and community, they were able to create opportunities for others and to make a lasting impact on the world. 

My father's decision to flee the segregated South was a courageous one, and it set him on a path of resilience, determination, and faith.

He refused to let the injustices of the world define him, and he sought to create a better future for himself and his loved ones. Through his hard work and dedication, he was able to build a life that was defined by love, family, and community.

Today, my father's legacy continues to inspire me and others. His journey serves as a reminder that we can overcome even the toughest obstacles when we have faith in ourselves and a commitment to creating a better future. I am grateful to have been a witness to his remarkable journey, and I am honored to carry on his legacy.

Today, my father's legacy continues to inspire me and others. His journey serves as a reminder that we can overcome even the toughest obstacles when we have faith in ourselves and a commitment to creating a better future.

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Building a Life and a Legacy

The story of my parents is one of resilience, determination, and faith.

Together, they raised five fantastic children, instilling in us the values of family, hard work, and a commitment to creating a better world. But their impact went far beyond our family.

Together, they built Mars Hill Baptist Church of Chicago, a multi-generational, global ministry that has touched the lives of countless people. In 2023, we will be celebrating 60 years of ministry, a testament to their enduring legacy.

My father's commitment to education was another cornerstone of his work. He established Mars Hill School, which educated some of Chicago's elite students who have gone on to achieve great things.

Through his commitment to education, he sought to create opportunities for others and to break down the barriers that had held so many back. It was a reflection of his deep-rooted belief in the power of knowledge and the importance of creating a better future for all.

The journey of my parents is one that has had a profound impact on my life and the lives of countless others. It is a story of faith, family, and community, and it serves as a powerful reminder of what can be accomplished through hard work, determination, and a commitment to creating a better world.

As we celebrate their legacy, let us be inspired to carry on their work and to build a brighter future for generations to come.

My father's commitment to education was another cornerstone of his work. He established Mars Hill School, which educated some of Chicago's elite students who have gone on to achieve great things.

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Growing up, my parents were dedicated to creating opportunities for others and breaking down barriers. They established Mars Hill Anywhere and my father worked tirelessly to ensure Black people had access to housing, banking, and jobs - showing their unwavering commitment to justice and equality.

A Commitment to Justice and Equality

Throughout his life, my father was a tireless advocate for justice and equality.

His commitment to creating a more equitable society was reflected in all aspects of his work, from his efforts to establish Mars Hill Anywhere to his commitment to education.

But perhaps what I am most proud of is his unwavering dedication to ensuring that Black people had access to housing, banking, and jobs.

My father owned property, housing, and businesses to create opportunities for others and to ensure that Black people had a place to bank, live, and work. It was a reflection of his deep-rooted belief in the importance of creating a more just and equitable society, one where all individuals had the opportunity to thrive and succeed

As my father knew, the work he was doing would outlive him. He set up Clarence E. Stowers Jr. to continue his legacy, knowing that the commitment to justice and equality was something that needed to be carried on.

Today, his work continues to inspire us to create a better world, one where all individuals have the opportunity to thrive and succeed, regardless of their background or circumstances.

My father's commitment to justice and equality is a reminder of the importance of standing up for what is right and creating a more equitable society. As we celebrate his legacy, let us be inspired to carry on his work and to create a brighter future for generations to come.

An Inheritance of Black Excellence

As we celebrate Black History Month, it is important to reflect on the legacy of those who have come before us and to be inspired to create a brighter future for generations to come.

For me, that legacy is embodied in my father, who left an inheritance to his children's children. His commitment to creating a better world is a reminder of the power of determination, resilience, and faith.

My father was a champion of justice and equality, and his commitment to education, family, and community inspired countless people. His tireless efforts to break down barriers and create opportunities for others embodied the spirit of black excellence, and I am honored to carry on his legacy.

My father was a champion of justice and equality, and his commitment to education, family, and community inspired countless people. His tireless efforts to break down barriers and create opportunities for others embodied the spirit of black excellence, and I am honored to carry on his legacy.

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Final Thoughts

As we celebrate Black History Month, let us be inspired by the legacy of those who have come before us. Let us remember the struggles and the triumphs, and let us be motivated to create a better world for all individuals. Through our commitment to justice, equality, and community, we can build a brighter future for generations to come, one that embodies the spirit of black excellence that has inspired us for so long.

The story of my father, Clarence E. Stowers, Sr., is a powerful example of what can be accomplished through resilience, determination, and faith. From fleeing the segregated South to establishing a new life in Chicago, he built a remarkable legacy that continues to inspire us today.

Through his commitment to education, justice, equality, and community, my father touched countless lives and created opportunities for others. His unwavering dedication to creating a better world is a reminder of the power of determination and resilience in the face of adversity. As we celebrate his legacy, let us be inspired to carry on his work and to create a brighter future for generations to come.


Key Takeaways

  1. Resilience, determination, and faith are key to overcoming adversity and building a better future.
  2. The legacy of those who have come before us is a powerful reminder of the progress that can be made through hard work and dedication.
  3. Through our commitment to education, justice, equality, and community, we can create a brighter future for all individuals, embodying the spirit of black excellence that has inspired us for so long.
Unsung Heroes: Honoring The Legacy of 5 Unsung Heroes of Black History

Unsung Heroes: Honoring The Legacy of 5 Unsung Heroes of Black History

by | Feb 13, 2023 | Black History Month, Empowerment, Encouragement, Excellence, History, Motivation, Race

Many untold stories enrich the diversity of black history. However, widespread celebrations of the struggles and achievements of prominent figures like the Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. and Nelson Mandela and numerous other essential but lesser-known figures have also made their mark on black history in unique ways.

In this article, we will uncover five hidden gems of black history, shining a light on some of the lesser-known stories that have helped shape the course of history.

Starting with the story of Robert Purvis, an abolitionist, and activist who worked hard to end slavery, we will learn more about the lives of five lesser-known black figures who made a lasting impact in their fields.

Robert Purvis: Abolitionist and Activist

Robert Purvis was an American abolitionist and activist who played a significant role in the Underground Railroad, a network of secret routes and safe houses that helped escaped enslaved people reach freedom.

Purvis was born in Charleston, South Carolina, in 1810. He became well-known in Philadelphia as a leader of the movement to end slavery. He worked to end slavery through political activism and lobbying. He was also a close ally of William Still, a fellow abolitionist and "conductor" on the Underground Railroad. 

Even though people were against him and tried to hurt him, Purvis kept fighting to end slavery until he died in 1898. As we move on from Robert Purvis, we come to the story of Biddy Mason, a formerly enslaved person who became famous as a businesswoman and giver of money.

Robert Purvis was an American abolitionist and activist who played a significant role in the Underground Railroad, a network of secret routes and safe houses that helped escaped enslaved people reach freedom.

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Biddy Mason: Entrepreneur and Philanthropist

Biddy Mason was once enslaved. In the 1800s, she moved to Los Angeles, became a successful businesswoman, and gave money to good causes. Born in Georgia in 1818, Mason was brought to California as an enslaved person and worked as a nurse and midwife.

After gaining her freedom in 1856, she used her nursing skills and entrepreneurial spirit to build a substantial real estate portfolio and become one of the wealthiest African American women of her time.

Mason was also a deeply religious Christian who used her money to help many good causes, like starting the First African Methodist Episcopal Church of Los Angeles. Biddy Mason became a successful businesswoman and civic leader in 19th-century Los Angeles.

She built on her success as a formerly enslaved person, nurse, and midwife. Like Robert Church Sr. in Memphis, Tennessee, she was also generous and entrepreneurial.

Biddy Mason was once enslaved. In the 1800s, she moved to Los Angeles, became a successful businesswoman, and gave money to good causes. Born in Georgia in 1818, Mason was brought to California as an enslaved person and worked as a nurse and midwife.

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Robert Church Sr.: Businessman and Civic Leader

Robert Church Sr. was a businessman and civic leader who played a pivotal role in the growth and development of Memphis, Tennessee, in the late 19th and early 20th centuries. Born in slavery in 1839, Church worked his way up from humble beginnings to become one of the city's most influential figures.

He was a successful entrepreneur who owned several businesses, including a hotel, a theater, and a park. He was also a philanthropist who gave generously to various causes, including education and housing for African Americans. 

Church was also a political activist who used his influence to advocate for civil rights and worked to bridge the divide between black and white communities in Memphis.

Benjamin "Pap" Singleton was a leader in the Great Migration. He inspired and guided hundreds of African Americans to move to the North in search of new economic and political opportunities. He did this by carrying on the work of Robert Church Sr., who worked to bring black and white communities together.

Robert Church Sr. was a businessman and civic leader who played a pivotal role in the growth and development of Memphis, Tennessee, in the late 19th and early 20th centuries.

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Benjamin "Pap" Singleton: Pioneer of the Great Migration

Benjamin "Pap" Singleton was a formerly enslaved person who became a pioneering figure in the Great Migration, the movement of African Americans from the rural South to the urban North in the late 19th and early 20th centuries.

Born in Kentucky in 1809, Singleton was enslaved until the end of the Civil War. Upon gaining his freedom, he relocated to Tennessee, advocating for black land ownership. He moved to Kansas, started a few towns only for black people, and helped hundreds of other African Americans move north. 

Singleton's work gave African Americans new economic and political opportunities. It made it easier for future generations to follow their dreams.

While Benjamin "Pap" Singleton was paving the way for African Americans in the Great Migration, Zora Neale Hurston made her mark as a writer, anthropologist, and folklorist, preserving and celebrating the rich cultural heritage of African Americans through her work.

Benjamin "Pap" Singleton was a formerly enslaved person who became a pioneering figure in the Great Migration, the movement of African Americans from the rural South to the urban North in the late 19th and early 20th centuries.

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Zora Neale Hurston: Writer, Anthropologist, and Folklorist

Zora Neale Hurston was a talented writer, anthropologist, and folklorist who did much for African American culture and literature.

Born in Alabama in 1891, she was exposed to the rich oral tradition of African American folk culture in her small all-black community in Florida, where she grew up. This experience affected her later work as an anthropologist, where she tried to record and keep African American stories, customs, and beliefs.

As a writer, Hurston is most famous for her novel "Their Eyes Were Watching God," which was published in 1937. This book is a classic of African American literature, taught in many schools and colleges.

Hurston's writing is known for being lyrical and full of imagination. It also celebrates African American folk culture and traditions.

In addition to her writing, Hurston was also a pioneering anthropologist. She did a lot of fieldwork in the American South, the Caribbean, and Haiti. She talked to African Americans and people from other groups to get their stories, songs, and beliefs. Her work in anthropology was vital and helped make it possible to study African American culture and folklore.

Along with Robert Purvis, Biddy Mason, Robert Church Sr., and Benjamin "Pap" Singleton, Hurston is a testament to the rich tapestry of black history, made up of the lives and contributions of people who have helped shape the course of history and left a legacy for future generations to cherish.

Zora Neale Hurston was a talented writer, anthropologist, and folklorist who did much for African American culture and literature.

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Conclusion

In the end, black history is a rich tapestry made up of the lives and contributions of many people, some of whom are well-known and some are not. The five "hidden gems" of black history that this article discusses are just a few examples of how black people have made significant contributions to history.

From Robert Purvis, an abolitionist, and activist who worked to end slavery, to Biddy Mason, an entrepreneurial philanthropist, to Robert Church Sr., a businessman and civic leader, to Benjamin "Pap" Singleton, a pioneer of the Great Migration, and finally to Zora Neale Hurston, a talented writer, anthropologist, and folklorist, each of these figures helped to shape the course of history and make a lasting impact in their respective fields.

Even though they faced problems and setbacks, these people kept going. They left a legacy that continues to inspire people today.

Black history is a rich tapestry made up of the lives and contributions of many people, some of whom are well-known and some are not.

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How to Make 2022 Your Best Year Ever

How to Make 2022 Your Best Year Ever

by | Dec 31, 2021 | Decisions, Empowerment, Encouragement, Goals, Motivation, Resolutions, Self-Leadership

I know. I know. I know. For some, 2020 and 2021 were an emotional rollercoaster. 

You've been through a lot this year, and you're not sure what to expect in 2022.

You experienced many disappointments. But this too shall pass, and it's time for a fresh start in 2022. We've experienced drastic changes this year, and our bodies and minds have reacted with increased anxiety levels - but with the proper coping mechanisms, you can get through it.

Everybody is usually trying to reinvent themselves at this time of year. We've all gone through too much to cave in to such pressure, whether from the outside world or ourselves. 

Today's article, "How To Make 2022 Your Best Year Ever" will help you stay positive while things around us change. By following our tips, we'll make sure your New Year's resolution of making 2022 your best year ever stays intact throughout the entire year.

Let's get started!

It's Hard to Go When You Don't Know

The pandemic that began in 2019 has lasted much longer than anyone anticipated. There have been many different predictions about how long it would last, but none have proven accurate.

One of the challenges we face is that we still do not know how to get rid of the virus. There were vaccines, but they haven't wiped out COVID. There have been many variants that have emerged, sending us right back into a state of panic.

While some may feel hopeless in the face of this epidemic, I believe that we must continue to fight. We cannot give up because we do not have all the answers. We must find new ways to combat this virus and save as many lives as possible.

Furthermore, the negative cycle of over-expectation and disappointment can take a toll on our mental health. Repeatedly being let down can lead to emotional trauma and depression.

Devastation like this, plus lack of financial security for many people who lost jobs, has led many industry leaders to believe we're in the middle of a depression, like when war rages.

While some may feel hopeless in the face of this epidemic, I believe that we must continue to fight. 



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Something is Better Than Nothing, Right?

The aftermath of tragedy has affected how some people can enjoy life. People who were out and about before the pandemic are now taking caution to ensure their safety. Still, they may feel down because they can't enjoy life to its fullest.

For one, we're putting pressure on ourselves to have fun at a time like this. We're "shoulding" ourselves, according to Silvia M. Dutchevici, psychotherapist and founder of the Critical Therapy Center.

"Shoulding" implies I should go out and be having a good time; I should want to see my friends. Our "shoulds" may not be what we want.

Many people find that they are exhausted after the holidays. This may be because they have spent a lot of time entertaining others. After Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Year's Eve, some people don't even want to keep up their social connections.

It is hard to be with others and remain focused. Because we haven't interacted with others for so long, we have to reset our approach after a traumatic event and whether or not we want to. There's also the seemingly never-ending COVID anxiety that always lurks in the background.

Because we haven't interacted with others for so long, we have to reset our approach after a traumatic event and whether or not we want to.



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Here's How You Can Make 2022 Your Best Year Ever

Manage Your Expectations

Can we as individuals do anything to feel better? Fortunately, we can.

The first is to manage expectations. Or, as I often say, "control what's controllable. Since the pandemic, life has changed in many ways. One thing that is important to understand is that there is no going back to how things were before.

Trying to recreate something you lost is likely to lead to disappointment. However, if you look ahead, there are opportunities for growth and different connections that may even be better than what came before.

Trying to recreate something you lost is likely to lead to disappointment.



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Live in The Moment

Next, make it a habit to live in the moment. Human beings are naturally uncomfortable with the uncertainty of the world. However, planning for six months or a year from now may lead to disappointment later because we still don't know how things will shake out.

Instead of thinking of consequences that may or may not happen in the future, think of what you have right now. Think about how far you've come from where you were one year ago, six months ago, two weeks ago.

Instead, try to stay calm and not worry about what will happen in the future. What will happen is unpredictable. We need to learn how to do this because it will be important in 2022.

Instead of thinking of consequences that may or may not happen in the future, think of what you have right now.



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Rest is a Weapon That Allows You to Reset

Finally, remember rest is a weapon that allows you to reset.

There's a reason we liken the pandemic to the zombie apocalypse. It sounds like something from a horror movie, and that's because it feels like one too.

The world is exhausting, and people are tired as we get ready to start the third year of a pandemic. We can barely keep up with work, let alone anything else in our lives; there's no time for creativity or innovation anymore.

Resting allows resetting through reflecting.

Taking the time to reflect on the good and bad moments of 2021 is essential. It allows us to celebrate our accomplishments and learn from our challenges. It's crucial to remember that no year is without ups and downs, so even though 2021 may have been tough, there were still plenty of happy moments. By acknowledging what we've been through, we can give ourselves the space to process it all and move on stronger than ever.

Taking the time to reflect on the good and bad moments of 2021 is essential. It allows us to celebrate our accomplishments and learn from our challenges.



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The year 2022 presents many opportunities while also causing us to change the way we do things. We must take care of ourselves and our families and stay strong during this process. Hopefully, by following these tips, we'll be able to make 2022 a year to remember.

Should I Follow My Head or My Heart: 5 Questions to Ask Before Making Decisions

Should I Follow My Head or My Heart: 5 Questions to Ask Before Making Decisions

by | Dec 14, 2021 | Decisions, Empowerment, Encouragement, Motivation, Self-Leadership

Should I Follow My Head or My Heart: 5 Questions to Ask Before Making Decisions

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Should I Follow My Head or My Heart: 5 Questions to Ask Before Making Decisions

I fondly remember my children agonizing over which college they would attend. We created spreadsheets, lists of pros and cons, prayed, and even burned candles while wearing sackcloth and ashes (just kidding).

Let’s face it; making significant decisions is not easy. It’s exhausting.

For those struggling with making decisions, how do you know when you’re listening to your heart or you’re listening to your head?  

Let’s face it; decisions are emotionally painful.

The word decision is of Latin origin. It means to cut away from the past.

If you’re married, it means cutting away from being single.

If you have made people (children), it means cutting away sleeping.

If you are a business owner, it means cutting away from security. 

That’s why most decisions are painful.

To make a decision, we have to confront our fears and doubts head-on. When making decisions, we often think in black and white terms: right or wrong, good or bad. But the truth is, most decisions are neither right nor wrong. They’re simply choices. And the more critical the choice, the more difficult it is to make.What happens when the battle within you is between what your heart believes and your brain dictates and what your inner wisdom tells you? So this is a question about whether you make decisions with your heart or head, and how do you know?

Before the pandemic, I made the majority of my decisions with my head. I logically weighed pros and cons, considered others’ opinions, and made choices that I thought were wise. I now realize that this habit caused me to miss out on joy and happiness.

For example, before the pandemic, I would have never considered taking a spontaneous trip with my family or friends. I would have thought about all potential risks and what could go wrong. Now, I know that those types of trips bring me a lot of happiness, and I’m more likely to take them because my heart is telling me that the risks are worth it.

Why? Time is a non-renewable resource. Once lost, it’s lost forever.

When you make decisions with your head, you’re usually trying to avoid pain or gain something. You want to be safe, and you want what you believe is the best outcome. However, when you make decisions with your heart, you often look for something different. Something that might be a little risky, but that has the potential to make you happier.

Today, I trust my instincts and emotions more than my intellect. 

You can analyze the fine print and contracts using your head. But when it comes to making a decision, look inwardly and check it against your heart and soul. 

So, how do you do that? 

According to Mel Robbins, here are five questions to ask when making decisions.

5 Questions to Ask When Making Decisions

  1. Is the decision you’re about to make help you develop your future or expand your life’s possibilities? If it’s a yes, then no matter how terrible it seems, the decision is a yes.
  2. Will this decision restrict, inhibit, or silence you? If so, the answer is no. No matter how easy the decision is, no matter how safe that decision is. The answer is no.
  3. Will this decision expand or limit my voice?
  4. Will this decision open the door to new possibilities or build a wall that prevents progress?
  5. Does it raise my voice, or does it silence me?

Remember, there’s always a short-term and a long-term impact of the decision.

When making a decision, it’s essential to think about that decision’s short-term and long-term impacts. The short-term consequences are the things that happen immediately after the decision. The long-term effects are the things that happen down the road, sometimes many years after the decision is made.

It’s essential to think about both of these impacts when deciding because they can be very different. The short-term effect might be exciting or seem like a good idea at the time, but the long-term implications might be very different. It’s crucial to weigh all of the pros and cons of a decision before making it, so you can be sure that you’re making the right choice.

Do you agree or disagree?

I’d love to hear how you make decisions?

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3 Types of Friends You Will Have as a Leader

3 Types of Friends You Will Have as a Leader

by | Dec 7, 2021 | Empowerment, Encouragement, Leadership, Relationships

3 Types of Friends You Will Have as a Leader

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3 Types of Friends You’ll Have as a Leader

“How do I know who is a friend and who isn’t?” asks the leader. It’s like Charlie Brown trying to find out if Lucy will hold the football for him again. Sometimes you’re sure that person is your best friend, but then they go and do something that makes you question their loyalty. Whatever the case may be, every leader has three types of friends: Positional Friends, Transactional friends, and Real Friends.

Positional Friends

Most leaders’ friends are positional because it’s easy to be friends with people in high positions. The leader doesn’t have to do anything except hold a position of authority for people to want to be around them. Additionally, when positional friends surround the leader, they can quickly get information and access things they need.

Most leaders’ friends are positional. This means that they are friends because of their position or social status. For example, if I’m the President of the United States, then the Prime Minister of Canada might want to be my friend because I have power and can make decisions that affect him.

Additionally, people want to be close to the leader to increase their position. They might like to be considered for a promotion or have more power. They might wish the leader to pull strings and increase their access or ability to move forward somehow.

More often than not, these people are trying to get close to you for their gain. They might be looking for some form of recognition, reward, or promotion. Or they might be looking for something else altogether. There’s no guarantee whether they will be there when you need them the most, and it’s good practice to know where your true friends lie. When you’re a leader, positional friends are the ones you’ll find yourself surrounded with most often.

While it might be comfortable and convenient to have positional friends, it’s important to remember that these people aren’t always there for you. They are only looking out for themselves and their interests. In addition to having positional friends, a significant number of leaders’ friends is transactional.

Transactional Friends

The second group of people who want to be close to you is transactional. These people will give friendship in exchange for something that increases their status, like increased power or access. They’re your biggest fans and say nice things about you in public and to others when they’re not around.

Transactional friends usually want to get close to the leader in exchange for something that benefits them. Maybe they want access to power or resources that they wouldn’t typically have.

They want to be seen as close to the leader and might even try to get pictures or post about how great it is to be friends with you on social media. But, when the transaction is over, and they don’t need anything from you anymore, they’ll move on. They won’t be there for you when the chips are down.

Furthermore, these are the people that only know you when you’re in a position of power, and they’re looking for their success. They might want to be in your inner circle because it increases their status, but if you get fired or demoted, they’ll move on to someone else who’s close to the top.

As a leader, it’s essential to be aware of these people and what they’re looking for. In addition to positional and transactional friends, few leaders have relational friends.

Real Friends

The final group of a leader’s friends is relational. These friends will be there for you even if your leadership role ends. They’re mature enough to understand that leadership doesn’t end with one person; it’s part of a more extensive process, and they’ll stick around to see what happens next. These friends are relational, meaning they care about the leader for who they are, not just for the position they hold.

It might be hard to differentiate between your transactional and real friends. They both say nice things, they’re both there for you in some ways, and they might even do similar things.

But real friends will be by your side no matter the outcome on the job or a project. If it succeeds, they’ll celebrate with you. If it fails, they’ll be the ones to help you pick yourself up and dust yourself off. They’re the ones who are there for the long haul. A leader’s true friends are those who are there for them no matter what the outcome is.

It can be challenging to tell the difference between transactional and real friends, but there are some key distinctions. Transactional friends will be there for you as long as you’re able to give them something in return. They might celebrate your successes, but they’ll also be there to pick you up when you fail. On the other hand real friends, will be there for you no matter what the outcome is. They’re not looking for anything in return; they want to be friends.

Discern Who Truly Cares About You

Knowing who truly cares about your success is an integral part of being a leader. Don’t be afraid to cut off the transactional and positional friends in your life – it’s not worth it to have them around if they’re not going to be there for you when you need them the most. And, remember, just because someone is a relational friend doesn’t mean that they’re perfect. There will be times when they say the wrong things or make decisions that don’t align with your goals.

But, in the end, relational friends are worth their weight in gold. Loyalty is hard to find these days and an invaluable trait for anyone who wants to succeed. So, choose your friends wisely and stay loyal to them through thick and thin.

As a leader, it is hard to know your true friends. Most leaders’ friends are positional or transactional because they want something in return for being there for you when you need them the most. Your relational friend will be loyal no matter the outcome on the job or project and won’t leave just because of one failure.

It’s difficult to tell whether someone is more transaction-oriented than relationship-oriented. Choose wisely when choosing friends and stay loyal through thick and thin!

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Why It’s Frustrating Leading Today’s Church and What to Do About It

Why It’s Frustrating Leading Today’s Church and What to Do About It

by | Nov 30, 2021 | Christian, Christianity, Decisions, Empowerment, Encouragement, Leadership, Motivation

Church leaders, are you sensing something but can't quite put your finger on it? Perhaps you're feeling it's becoming harder to lead. I want to talk about how we can change a culture. To do this, we need to understand it first.

We sometimes believe we have a problem when we don't. We have a word for that, and it's called being misdiagnosed, and it's something we must avoid in our efforts to reach people. To reach the post-Covid and post-Christian West, we must first understand it thoroughly.

As you know, the world is shifting at a rapid pace. In this post, I'd like to focus on cultural changes taking place right under our noses. In other words, let me explain the mindset of the people who attend our churches and why it's difficult leading them.

Photo by Towfiqu barbhuiya on Unsplash

The People We Lead Prefer Individual Freedom and Happiness.

Lately, people are splitting into groups aligned with their self-interests. People are more interested in themselves and what they think of themselves. They don't care about what other people think of them anymore. These days, it's all about us.

People are more interested in themselves and what they think of themselves. They don't care about what other people think of them anymore. These days, it's all about us.



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The Bible established the standard for ethics, what people thought, how they behaved, and what they valued in the past. Experiences, wants, preferences, and emotions have taken their place.

For example, married people might say, "I feel like something has changed." And they might think that means they should get divorced. But sometimes, couples can work it out because their feelings change back again. That's why the divorce rate is five times what it was 50 years ago.

Furthermore, people will say, "I believe in God," but they won't attend church because it is old-fashioned and too traditional. Why? Because self has been elevated above God.

I have a friend who fights for Black Lives Matter. She's also sexually liberated and doesn't believe in God. She is like, "I am not going to listen to what you want me to do with my body, but I will tell you what you can do regarding Black Lives Matter.

The contradiction is confusing. Some people do not want to be judged on what they do. But on social media, everyone seems to judge other people. They're wannabe moralists.

As church leaders, we need to be able to push against this trend and make a difference.

Anything or Anyone That Restrict Freedom, Happiness, And Self-Expression Are Cancelled.

In the west, many people don't think religion is important. They believe that they can make their own religion. This may be because they don't like the way authority structures work. People want to do what they want to do and not follow anyone else, so many churches are having a hard time in today's world. That mindset doesn't adhere to the fact that Jesus is Lord.

When we say, "Jesus is Lord," it's about how we listen and obey what Jesus tells us. We know what we believe, but we must also follow his instructions. 

Moreover, Christianity is not about winning. It is about obeying. We preach that you can be a winner in Christianity, but the truth is that it's about following something that goes beyond you. This can make your self-fulfillment challenging.

We preach that you can be a winner in Christianity, but the truth is that it's about following something that goes beyond you. 



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What's Next?

Expand your thinking beyond the church and your building. Think Mission.

The church is not meant to be a sanctuary, but rather it's called the mission field. The goal should shift from building our faith within bricks and mortar walls; instead, let us strive for more than believing in something without seeing its results on earth--we need active participation that impacts lives around us!

The church is not meant to be a sanctuary, but rather it's called the mission field. 



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If you are a church leader or pastor, this post should explain why leading in today's climate can be challenging. The people we lead prefer individual freedom and happiness instead of being told what they should do by an authority figure. This means that many churches are having trouble attracting members who want the gospel message of Jesus as Lord but not as Savior with all its restrictions on their behavior.

So, in short, people today don't want to be restricted by authority structures - including the church. They want to do what they want to do and not follow anyone else. 

However, this doesn't mean that we should give up. We need to preach that Jesus is Lord and that our Faith is not about winning in life but following Him. We also need to be obedient to Him and not just do what we want. This will be a challenge in today's society, but it's one that we need to overcome.

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