by Clarence E. Stowers | Sep 24, 2021 | Empowerment, Family, Goals, History, Motivation, Parenting, Relationships, Television
The Cosby Show was a significant part of my young adult years.
The purpose of this post is not to debate Bill Cosby's legacy of legal troubles but to share how his show changed my life. It impacted me in a way I didn't really understand until I got older and saw how it changed how we looked at African-Americans on TV.
It gave me hope for what life could be like as a Black man. As an adult, it has inspired me to create my own world with positivity and laughter. Today's post will focus on 2 ways this show changed my life:
- My view of myself.
- My view of others.
The Cosby Changed My View of Myself
The Cosby Show was unlike anything that had come before on TV. It seemed to be ushering in a new era of multi-faceted television. In the 1990s, something changed, and shows with all-black casts were marketed towards all-black audiences. Black people have been on TV for years; however, they rarely appeared as people of education and means.
Shows like Good Times depicted black life as a struggle, even though most main characters were employed. Now we had The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air, but Will Smith was ditching his hometown for ritzy West Philadelphia (he's from East Philly).
We had Martin Lawrence as an underachiever; UPN's Homeboys in Outer Space, featuring two black astronauts who happened to be brothers; we had Living Single. The show was full of characters with advanced degrees from well-to-do families, but it still wasn't the Cosby Show.
Even though they did not always do it well, this show showed life as a family. They showed how absurd families could be and also the things that happen in families. We remember this show for its funny moments and its sincere moments. When the entire family sang along with little Rudy singing Margie Hendricks's part, it became an instant classic. It made you realize that your own family is not as fun.
The Cosby Show was unlike anything that had come before on TV. It seemed to be ushering in a new era of multi-faceted television.
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The Cosby Show Changed My View of Others
The Huxtables were cool parents. They danced, sang, and laughed all over the place. But they also held a mock trial to catch Theo in a lie and flipped out when Vanessa got caught wearing makeup after being told not to.
The Huxtables didn't want to be their kids' best friends or let them get away with anything. The show was a step in the tradition of shows like Leave It To Beaver and The Brady Bunch, but it also had a lot to say about race relations.
When I first saw this show, I didn't think anything of it. After all, there were black families on TV before the Huxtables came along. But as time went on, and as I grew older and saw the good and the bad of black sitcoms and television in general, I came to appreciate Bill Cosby's show for what it was: a trailblazing insight into African-American life.
The Huxtables didn't want to be their kids' best friends or let them get away with anything.
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The Cosby Show was different from other shows. People on The Cosby Show were friends and families. This made it so that people could relate to the show. It's hard to imagine families as different as those in Everybody Hates Chris or Black-ish without the Huxtables.
The Cosby Show was groundbreaking because it depicted upper-middle-class black families in a way that had never been seen before on television. This show is the reason why I wrote my book, "Finding Joy Despite Life's Hardships: A Guide to Overcoming Setbacks."
By reading this blog post, I hope you will appreciate black people's rich history on TV. I also hope it inspires you to keep fighting against racism and discrimination in our communities, whether through your words or actions.
And finally, if any of these points resonate with you and make sense to you, please consider pre-ordering a copy of my book "Finding Joy Despite Life's Hardships: A Guide to Overcoming Setbacks."
Thank you so much!
What TV shows impacted your life?
It's hard to imagine families as different as those in Everybody Hates Chris or Black-ish without the Huxtables.
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by Clarence E. Stowers | Jun 26, 2019 | Decisions, Empowerment, Encouragement, Goals, Self-Leadership, Success
Welcome to the final installment of "Lessons You Wished You Learned Earlier In Life". If you haven't already, you can read Part 1 here and Part 2 here.
Someone once said, "everything that happens in life happens for a reason and lasts a season". I believe that to be true. Looking back, I've learned something from every stage in my life. In fact, life taught me much needed lessons I couldn't have learn elsewhere, while teaching me the power of reflection.
As I age, I'm reflecting more. "Reflection is the most important part of the learning process, and whatever is not reflected is usually not learned and retained", according to Rybo Chen. The only way for us to grow and improve is to take a good look at what’s working and what’s not for us.
So therefore, let's continue the countdown with the third lesson, most people you meet in life are selfish.
Reflection is the most important part of the learning process, and whatever is not reflected is usually not learned and retained. -Rybo Chen
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“Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards.”
Why Is The World So Selfish?
Greed is a hard emotion to check. Did you catch that? If you did, then you know why most of the world is selfish.
Why is this world so selfish? Why do some rich and connected people cheat to get their kids into prestigious colleges and universities? Why, in the United States, are there are wider disparities of wealth between rich and poor than any time in history? I'll tell you why, people are inherently selfish.
As a whole, we have all become self-centered. Most of us hardly ever think of others anymore. It has become second nature to think of only ourselves. Unfortunately, most people think the world revolves around them and what makes them happy.
Yes, there are genuinely generous people, but they are very rare. Most of the people that you meet in your life will only care about themselves. and that's just the way that it is.
I can hear you saying, "wait, I know some people are good in the world" and I agree with you. Yes, some people are, but, as a whole, the majority of people that you're going to meet in life are mainly concerned with themselves. So be aware of that and understand the world is not all butterflies and sunshine.
I love to hear your feedback. Do you agree or disagree that most of the world is selfish?
Why is the world so selfish? Because greed is a hard emotion to check.
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“Self-absorption in all its forms kills empathy, let alone compassion.”
by Clarence E. Stowers | Jun 21, 2019 | Empowerment, Accountability, Decisions, Encouragement, Goals, Leadership, Motivation, Quotes, Self-Leadership, Success
Have you ever heard that "Hindsight is 20/20"?
"It's easy to know the right thing to do after something has happened, but it's hard to predict the future".
Like many, I've made many mistakes in life, but I've also learned from those mistakes. If only I would've listened, I could've avoided unnecessary setbacks. I would do some things differently if I could go back. Hindsight is 20/20.
If you're a teenager, in your early 20s, 30s, or 40s, or if you're just young at heart, I promise you will want to read this 3-part series, and can save yourself from the mistakes that most people make and regret for the rest of their lives. If you haven't read Part 1, you can read it here.
Let's continue the countdown with the sixth lesson, every action has consequences.
6. Every Action Has Consequences
As I age, I'm discovering how wise my father was. As a kid, he would remind me that every action/decision has intended and unintended consequences. Intended consequences are the outcomes we directly see as a result of our actions. But, unintended consequences are the outcomes we do not directly see. They are delayed consequences.
What's The Point?
Just because you don't immediately see the consequences (mostly unintended) of your actions doesn't mean they're not happening. You can't see wind either. You can, however, see the consequences of the wind.
There are intended and unintended consequences for all of our decisions. Sometimes they take years to realize. Let's continue with the countdown with the fifth lesson, time is a nonrenewable resource.
Just because you don't immediately see the consequences of your actions doesn't mean they're not happening.
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"Nobody ever did, or ever will, escape the consequences of his choices."
Alfred A. Montapert
5. Time is a Nonrenewable Resource
"A nonrenewable resource is a resource of economic value that cannot be readily replaced by natural means on a level equal to its consumption. Most fossil fuels, such as oil, natural gas and coal are considered nonrenewable resources", according to Investopedia.
Like the aforementioned, time is a nonrenewable resource. It cannot be readily replaced by natural means. What does that mean? You only have RIGHT NOW!
You only have right now. Whatever you're doing this second, you'll never get that second back. So, you want to make sure that you capitalize on all of the time that you do have and make sure you realize that being alive and healthy is a gift.
Moreover, you want to take advantage of that and live life to your truest potential. Why? You're never going to get the time back that you you know are experiencing right now.
Remember to do more of whatever makes you happy. Why? Eventually, we're all going to run out of time, and that's just the truth of the matter.
Let's conclude today's post with the countdown with the fourth lesson, everything is temporary.
Time is a nonrenewable resource. It cannot be readily replaced by natural means.
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"Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life."
Steve Jobs
4. Everything is Temporary
Everything is temporary and comes to an end. Wow, that's pretty dark, huh?
This lesson isn't meant to be dark, it's meant to wake you up! I don't want to sound fatalistic, but, everything comes to an end. I had lots of friends in high school and college. But, today, other than Facebook, I barely see or talk to them anymore.
I'm not mad at anyone and hopefully, no one's mad at me. People move on with their lives. They get married, move to different places, and it becomes difficult to stay in contact with them. So, be aware of the fact that things change and that everything is temporary.
Embrace people in the moment. Don't take the relationships you have today for granted. Love the people around you while enjoying their presence. Be happy that you have that time with them now!
Why? Because everything is temporary and all good things come to an end! Take advantage of now and live in the present moment.
I trust you found value in today's post and I'd love to hear your feedback on what lessons you've learned.
Everything is temporary and comes to an end.
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“The only permanent thing in this life is that everything is temporary.”
Author Unknown
by Clarence E. Stowers | Jun 19, 2019 | Empowerment, Accountability, Decisions, Encouragement, Excellence, Goals, Motivation, Quotes, Self-Leadership, Success, Vision
In 2005, Steve Jobs, founder of Apple Computer gave the Commencement Speech at Stanford University. Hidden in that speech is a powerful quote that resonates.
He said, “You can't connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something - your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life”.
The idea behind this quote is that, as much as we try to plan our lives ahead in advance, there’s always something that’s completely unpredictable about life that teaches needed lessons. Unfortunately, people wait too long before learning those needed lessons. In today’s post, I’m sharing three of the nine lessons that people learn too late in life.
If you're a teenager, in your early 20s, 30s, or 40s, or if you're just young at heart, I promise you will want to read this 3-part series, and can save yourself from the mistakes that most people make and regret for the rest of their lives. Let's begin the countdown with the ninth lesson, people will criticize you.
“You can't connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future..."
9. People Will Criticize Me, So What?
Regardless of who you are, someone will criticize you. The fear of criticism kills momentum and gets in the way of creating the life that you want. If you're afraid what other people say and think about you, you might as well stay inside and give up now.
Remember this: The more successful you become, the more haters you’ll attract. It’s like that, and that’s the way it is. So, you have to decide who do you want to be. Do you want to live and become your friend, your parents, or somebody else?
Or, do you want to live and create your own life? Remember, don't be afraid of criticism, do the things that you want to do, and live the life that you want to live. Let's continue with the countdown with the eighth lesson, you are responsible for your own happiness.
Remember this: The more successful you become, the more haters you’ll attract.
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8. I Am Responsible For Creating My Own Happiness
Guess what? Happiness is your choice. Unfortunately, a lot of people think that happiness is something that some people have and some don't. But, the truth is, happiness is YOUR choice.
Here are two important truths I’ve discovered about happiness:
- Happiness is not an easy choice.
- It takes a daily work to be happy.
What does progress have to do with happiness? Happiness comes from making progress. If you're making progress towards your goals, you're going to experience happiness. Unfortunately, many people don't learn this until too late in life. Additionally, they may complain about getting the short end of the stick and choose to remain unhappy.
If you want to experience happiness, you have to take consistent daily action towards choosing happiness. Let's conclude today's countdown with the seventh lesson, be yourself.
Happiness comes from making progress. If you're making progress towards your goals, you're going to experience happiness.
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“Don’t rely on someone else for your happiness and self-worth. Only you can be responsible for that.”
7. Be You - Do You
I once heard someone say, “why be a cheap copy when you can be a great original”?
Unfortunately, too many people wait too long to learn this valuable lesson. If you don’t have a firm grip on who you are, you’ll be tempted to borrow and live someone else’s life.
Furthermore, many people (parents, friends, associates, colleagues, etc.) have opinions on who you should be. In fact, they’re willing to offer their unsolicited advice. The sooner you're your own person, the sooner that you're happy with that person. Take Oscar Wilde's advice, “Be yourself; everyone else is already taken".
I trust you found value in today's post and I'd love to hear your feedback on what lessons you've learned.
”You may not control all the events that happen to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them."
by Clarence Stowers | Jan 16, 2018 | Personal, Current Affairs, Decisions, Empowerment, Goals, Self-Leadership, Success
All of us want the security of having a safe environment not just for us, but for our families as well.
In today’s post, we’re going to be breaking down five ways that are going to ensure you provide a safer life for you and those around you.
1. Befriend Those You Want to Be Like
As Jim Rohn famously said, “You’re the average of the five people you spend most of your time with.” This is particularly true when you want to live a certain lifestyle. If you associate with the wrong types of people, they’ll rub off on you. Those people don’t have to be alcoholics and drug abusers. Let’s say you have a friend who arrives perpetually late to things. The more time you spend with that person, the higher the odds that you will start arriving late to things. If you want to be safe, surround yourself with like-minded people.
2. Avoid Alcohol
Alcohol can be dangerous for the user and their family. In fact, alcohol can often end up separating the family more often than bringing them together. As far as safety is concerned, alcohol can impair judgment and responsibility, increasing your chances of making a stupid decision that you’ll regret in the future. In the end, it’s best for you and your family if you just leave alcohol alone.
3. Invest in a Home Security System
This is definitely a significant step! A home security system ensures around-the-clock safety for you and your family. It allows you to know if any burglar is breaking into and entering your home, posing a threat to you and your loved ones. By installing this, an alarm monitoring company will be monitoring your house even when you’re not home. According to ADT, you can even monitor your security from a smartphone or tablet. Overall, your family and your home will have maximum protection from intruders.
4. Schedule Regular Check-Ups with Your Doctor
Regular check-ups to the doctor ensure that you are personally safe from any diseases or illnesses. Also, bring your family too if possible. This guarantees everyone is healthy, which results in a safer and happier household.
5. Invest in Yourself
Further education is always a good idea, especially when it comes to living a safe life. Find out further ways to provide safety and security for your family whether it be finances, relationships, health, happiness, etc.
By focusing on the above five steps, you can guarantee that you and your family live a pretty safe life.
by Clarence E. Stowers | Jun 8, 2016 | Empowerment, Decisions, Encouragement, Goals, Leadership, Motivation, Self-Leadership, Success
Starting something new is much easier than transitioning something established.
Currently, I serve as lead pastor of the Mars Hill Baptist Church of Chicago. I succeeded my father, the late Rev. Dr. Clarence E. Stowers, Sr. who served for thirty-six years. The church I inherited was a traditional African American Baptist Church rich with tradition.
After five years of praying, meeting, teaching, leading, and building supportive teams, we transitioned to a contemporary church. During the process, I almost quit, but decided to pivot and stick it out. It was the best decision of my life. In life, you’ll eventually come to a crossroad. When it happens, you must decide if you’ll stick with it, quit, or pivot. How do you know which choice is best? I chose to pivot.
In life, you’ll eventually come to a crossroad. When it happens, you must decide if you’ll stick with it, quit, or pivot. How do you know which choice is best? I chose to pivot.
So What Does it Mean to Pivot
I love sports, and when I hear the word pivot, immediately basketball comes to mind. When basketball players stop dribbling the ball, they must decide which foot is their pivot foot. Upon deciding, they can’t switch feet. Pivoting is the term used to define both the act of keeping one foot in place while moving the other and the actual foot which remains on the ground.
Keeping one foot in place is necessary when a player stops dribbling the ball but wishes to reposition himself for a pass or shot. A player may rotate and move around as long as one foot remains in place, on the floor. The foot chosen is known as the “pivot”, or “pivot foot”, and if it comes off the ground, or otherwise shifts position away from its original spot on the floor, a travelling violation will be called.
[shareable]Starting something new is much easier than transitioning something established.[/shareable]
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