How to Make 2022 Your Best Year Ever

How to Make 2022 Your Best Year Ever

I know. I know. I know. For some, 2020 and 2021 were an emotional rollercoaster. 

You've been through a lot this year, and you're not sure what to expect in 2022.

You experienced many disappointments. But this too shall pass, and it's time for a fresh start in 2022. We've experienced drastic changes this year, and our bodies and minds have reacted with increased anxiety levels - but with the proper coping mechanisms, you can get through it.

Everybody is usually trying to reinvent themselves at this time of year. We've all gone through too much to cave in to such pressure, whether from the outside world or ourselves. 

Today's article, "How To Make 2022 Your Best Year Ever" will help you stay positive while things around us change. By following our tips, we'll make sure your New Year's resolution of making 2022 your best year ever stays intact throughout the entire year.

Let's get started!

It's Hard to Go When You Don't Know

The pandemic that began in 2019 has lasted much longer than anyone anticipated. There have been many different predictions about how long it would last, but none have proven accurate.

One of the challenges we face is that we still do not know how to get rid of the virus. There were vaccines, but they haven't wiped out COVID. There have been many variants that have emerged, sending us right back into a state of panic.

While some may feel hopeless in the face of this epidemic, I believe that we must continue to fight. We cannot give up because we do not have all the answers. We must find new ways to combat this virus and save as many lives as possible.

Furthermore, the negative cycle of over-expectation and disappointment can take a toll on our mental health. Repeatedly being let down can lead to emotional trauma and depression.

Devastation like this, plus lack of financial security for many people who lost jobs, has led many industry leaders to believe we're in the middle of a depression, like when war rages.

While some may feel hopeless in the face of this epidemic, I believe that we must continue to fight. 

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Something is Better Than Nothing, Right?

The aftermath of tragedy has affected how some people can enjoy life. People who were out and about before the pandemic are now taking caution to ensure their safety. Still, they may feel down because they can't enjoy life to its fullest.

For one, we're putting pressure on ourselves to have fun at a time like this. We're "shoulding" ourselves, according to Silvia M. Dutchevici, psychotherapist and founder of the Critical Therapy Center.

"Shoulding" implies I should go out and be having a good time; I should want to see my friends. Our "shoulds" may not be what we want.

Many people find that they are exhausted after the holidays. This may be because they have spent a lot of time entertaining others. After Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Year's Eve, some people don't even want to keep up their social connections.

It is hard to be with others and remain focused. Because we haven't interacted with others for so long, we have to reset our approach after a traumatic event and whether or not we want to. There's also the seemingly never-ending COVID anxiety that always lurks in the background.

Because we haven't interacted with others for so long, we have to reset our approach after a traumatic event and whether or not we want to.

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Here's How You Can Make 2022 Your Best Year Ever

Manage Your Expectations

Can we as individuals do anything to feel better? Fortunately, we can.

The first is to manage expectations. Or, as I often say, "control what's controllable. Since the pandemic, life has changed in many ways. One thing that is important to understand is that there is no going back to how things were before.

Trying to recreate something you lost is likely to lead to disappointment. However, if you look ahead, there are opportunities for growth and different connections that may even be better than what came before.

Trying to recreate something you lost is likely to lead to disappointment.

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Live in The Moment

Next, make it a habit to live in the moment. Human beings are naturally uncomfortable with the uncertainty of the world. However, planning for six months or a year from now may lead to disappointment later because we still don't know how things will shake out.

Instead of thinking of consequences that may or may not happen in the future, think of what you have right now. Think about how far you've come from where you were one year ago, six months ago, two weeks ago.

Instead, try to stay calm and not worry about what will happen in the future. What will happen is unpredictable. We need to learn how to do this because it will be important in 2022.

Instead of thinking of consequences that may or may not happen in the future, think of what you have right now.

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Rest is a Weapon That Allows You to Reset

Finally, remember rest is a weapon that allows you to reset.

There's a reason we liken the pandemic to the zombie apocalypse. It sounds like something from a horror movie, and that's because it feels like one too.

The world is exhausting, and people are tired as we get ready to start the third year of a pandemic. We can barely keep up with work, let alone anything else in our lives; there's no time for creativity or innovation anymore.

Resting allows resetting through reflecting.

Taking the time to reflect on the good and bad moments of 2021 is essential. It allows us to celebrate our accomplishments and learn from our challenges. It's crucial to remember that no year is without ups and downs, so even though 2021 may have been tough, there were still plenty of happy moments. By acknowledging what we've been through, we can give ourselves the space to process it all and move on stronger than ever.

Taking the time to reflect on the good and bad moments of 2021 is essential. It allows us to celebrate our accomplishments and learn from our challenges.

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The year 2022 presents many opportunities while also causing us to change the way we do things. We must take care of ourselves and our families and stay strong during this process. Hopefully, by following these tips, we'll be able to make 2022 a year to remember.

Should I Follow My Head or My Heart: 5 Questions to Ask Before Making Decisions

Should I Follow My Head or My Heart: 5 Questions to Ask Before Making Decisions

Should I Follow My Head or My Heart: 5 Questions to Ask Before Making Decisions

Should I Follow My Head or My Heart: 5 Questions to Ask Before Making Decisions

I fondly remember my children agonizing over which college they would attend. We created spreadsheets, lists of pros and cons, prayed, and even burned candles while wearing sackcloth and ashes (just kidding).

Let’s face it; making significant decisions is not easy. It’s exhausting.

For those struggling with making decisions, how do you know when you’re listening to your heart or you’re listening to your head?  

Let’s face it; decisions are emotionally painful.

The word decision is of Latin origin. It means to cut away from the past.

If you’re married, it means cutting away from being single.

If you have made people (children), it means cutting away sleeping.

If you are a business owner, it means cutting away from security. 

That’s why most decisions are painful.

To make a decision, we have to confront our fears and doubts head-on. When making decisions, we often think in black and white terms: right or wrong, good or bad. But the truth is, most decisions are neither right nor wrong. They’re simply choices. And the more critical the choice, the more difficult it is to make.What happens when the battle within you is between what your heart believes and your brain dictates and what your inner wisdom tells you? So this is a question about whether you make decisions with your heart or head, and how do you know?

Before the pandemic, I made the majority of my decisions with my head. I logically weighed pros and cons, considered others’ opinions, and made choices that I thought were wise. I now realize that this habit caused me to miss out on joy and happiness.

For example, before the pandemic, I would have never considered taking a spontaneous trip with my family or friends. I would have thought about all potential risks and what could go wrong. Now, I know that those types of trips bring me a lot of happiness, and I’m more likely to take them because my heart is telling me that the risks are worth it.

Why? Time is a non-renewable resource. Once lost, it’s lost forever.

When you make decisions with your head, you’re usually trying to avoid pain or gain something. You want to be safe, and you want what you believe is the best outcome. However, when you make decisions with your heart, you often look for something different. Something that might be a little risky, but that has the potential to make you happier.

Today, I trust my instincts and emotions more than my intellect. 

You can analyze the fine print and contracts using your head. But when it comes to making a decision, look inwardly and check it against your heart and soul. 

So, how do you do that? 

According to Mel Robbins, here are five questions to ask when making decisions.

5 Questions to Ask When Making Decisions

  1. Is the decision you’re about to make help you develop your future or expand your life’s possibilities? If it’s a yes, then no matter how terrible it seems, the decision is a yes.
  2. Will this decision restrict, inhibit, or silence you? If so, the answer is no. No matter how easy the decision is, no matter how safe that decision is. The answer is no.
  3. Will this decision expand or limit my voice?
  4. Will this decision open the door to new possibilities or build a wall that prevents progress?
  5. Does it raise my voice, or does it silence me?

Remember, there’s always a short-term and a long-term impact of the decision.

When making a decision, it’s essential to think about that decision’s short-term and long-term impacts. The short-term consequences are the things that happen immediately after the decision. The long-term effects are the things that happen down the road, sometimes many years after the decision is made.

It’s essential to think about both of these impacts when deciding because they can be very different. The short-term effect might be exciting or seem like a good idea at the time, but the long-term implications might be very different. It’s crucial to weigh all of the pros and cons of a decision before making it, so you can be sure that you’re making the right choice.

Do you agree or disagree?

I’d love to hear how you make decisions?

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Why It’s Frustrating Leading Today’s Church and What to Do About It

Why It’s Frustrating Leading Today’s Church and What to Do About It

Church leaders, are you sensing something but can't quite put your finger on it? Perhaps you're feeling it's becoming harder to lead. I want to talk about how we can change a culture. To do this, we need to understand it first.

We sometimes believe we have a problem when we don't. We have a word for that, and it's called being misdiagnosed, and it's something we must avoid in our efforts to reach people. To reach the post-Covid and post-Christian West, we must first understand it thoroughly.

As you know, the world is shifting at a rapid pace. In this post, I'd like to focus on cultural changes taking place right under our noses. In other words, let me explain the mindset of the people who attend our churches and why it's difficult leading them.

Photo by Towfiqu barbhuiya on Unsplash

The People We Lead Prefer Individual Freedom and Happiness.

Lately, people are splitting into groups aligned with their self-interests. People are more interested in themselves and what they think of themselves. They don't care about what other people think of them anymore. These days, it's all about us.

People are more interested in themselves and what they think of themselves. They don't care about what other people think of them anymore. These days, it's all about us.



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The Bible established the standard for ethics, what people thought, how they behaved, and what they valued in the past. Experiences, wants, preferences, and emotions have taken their place.

For example, married people might say, "I feel like something has changed." And they might think that means they should get divorced. But sometimes, couples can work it out because their feelings change back again. That's why the divorce rate is five times what it was 50 years ago.

Furthermore, people will say, "I believe in God," but they won't attend church because it is old-fashioned and too traditional. Why? Because self has been elevated above God.

I have a friend who fights for Black Lives Matter. She's also sexually liberated and doesn't believe in God. She is like, "I am not going to listen to what you want me to do with my body, but I will tell you what you can do regarding Black Lives Matter.

The contradiction is confusing. Some people do not want to be judged on what they do. But on social media, everyone seems to judge other people. They're wannabe moralists.

As church leaders, we need to be able to push against this trend and make a difference.

Anything or Anyone That Restrict Freedom, Happiness, And Self-Expression Are Cancelled.

In the west, many people don't think religion is important. They believe that they can make their own religion. This may be because they don't like the way authority structures work. People want to do what they want to do and not follow anyone else, so many churches are having a hard time in today's world. That mindset doesn't adhere to the fact that Jesus is Lord.

When we say, "Jesus is Lord," it's about how we listen and obey what Jesus tells us. We know what we believe, but we must also follow his instructions. 

Moreover, Christianity is not about winning. It is about obeying. We preach that you can be a winner in Christianity, but the truth is that it's about following something that goes beyond you. This can make your self-fulfillment challenging.

We preach that you can be a winner in Christianity, but the truth is that it's about following something that goes beyond you. 



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What's Next?

Expand your thinking beyond the church and your building. Think Mission.

The church is not meant to be a sanctuary, but rather it's called the mission field. The goal should shift from building our faith within bricks and mortar walls; instead, let us strive for more than believing in something without seeing its results on earth--we need active participation that impacts lives around us!

The church is not meant to be a sanctuary, but rather it's called the mission field. 



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If you are a church leader or pastor, this post should explain why leading in today's climate can be challenging. The people we lead prefer individual freedom and happiness instead of being told what they should do by an authority figure. This means that many churches are having trouble attracting members who want the gospel message of Jesus as Lord but not as Savior with all its restrictions on their behavior.

So, in short, people today don't want to be restricted by authority structures - including the church. They want to do what they want to do and not follow anyone else. 

However, this doesn't mean that we should give up. We need to preach that Jesus is Lord and that our Faith is not about winning in life but following Him. We also need to be obedient to Him and not just do what we want. This will be a challenge in today's society, but it's one that we need to overcome.

How The Cosby Show Changed My Life

How The Cosby Show Changed My Life

The Cosby Show was a significant part of my young adult years.

The purpose of this post is not to debate Bill Cosby's legacy of legal troubles but to share how his show changed my life. It impacted me in a way I didn't really understand until I got older and saw how it changed how we looked at African-Americans on TV.

It gave me hope for what life could be like as a Black man. As an adult, it has inspired me to create my own world with positivity and laughter. Today's post will focus on 2 ways this show changed my life:

  1. My view of myself.
  2. My view of others. 

The Cosby Changed My View of Myself

The Cosby Show was unlike anything that had come before on TV. It seemed to be ushering in a new era of multi-faceted television. In the 1990s, something changed, and shows with all-black casts were marketed towards all-black audiences. Black people have been on TV for years; however, they rarely appeared as people of education and means.

Shows like Good Times depicted black life as a struggle, even though most main characters were employed. Now we had The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air, but Will Smith was ditching his hometown for ritzy West Philadelphia (he's from East Philly).

We had Martin Lawrence as an underachiever; UPN's Homeboys in Outer Space, featuring two black astronauts who happened to be brothers; we had Living Single. The show was full of characters with advanced degrees from well-to-do families, but it still wasn't the Cosby Show.

Even though they did not always do it well, this show showed life as a family. They showed how absurd families could be and also the things that happen in families. We remember this show for its funny moments and its sincere moments. When the entire family sang along with little Rudy singing Margie Hendricks's part, it became an instant classic. It made you realize that your own family is not as fun.

The Cosby Show was unlike anything that had come before on TV. It seemed to be ushering in a new era of multi-faceted television.



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The Cosby Show Changed My View of Others

The Huxtables were cool parents. They danced, sang, and laughed all over the place. But they also held a mock trial to catch Theo in a lie and flipped out when Vanessa got caught wearing makeup after being told not to.

The Huxtables didn't want to be their kids' best friends or let them get away with anything. The show was a step in the tradition of shows like Leave It To Beaver and The Brady Bunch, but it also had a lot to say about race relations.

When I first saw this show, I didn't think anything of it. After all, there were black families on TV before the Huxtables came along. But as time went on, and as I grew older and saw the good and the bad of black sitcoms and television in general, I came to appreciate Bill Cosby's show for what it was: a trailblazing insight into African-American life.

The Huxtables didn't want to be their kids' best friends or let them get away with anything. 



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The Cosby Show was different from other shows. People on The Cosby Show were friends and families. This made it so that people could relate to the show. It's hard to imagine families as different as those in Everybody Hates Chris or Black-ish without the Huxtables.

The Cosby Show was groundbreaking because it depicted upper-middle-class black families in a way that had never been seen before on television. This show is the reason why I wrote my book, "Finding Joy Despite Life's Hardships: A Guide to Overcoming Setbacks." 

By reading this blog post, I hope you will appreciate black people's rich history on TV. I also hope it inspires you to keep fighting against racism and discrimination in our communities, whether through your words or actions.

And finally, if any of these points resonate with you and make sense to you, please consider pre-ordering a copy of my book "Finding Joy Despite Life's Hardships: A Guide to Overcoming Setbacks." 

Thank you so much!

What TV shows impacted your life?

It's hard to imagine families as different as those in Everybody Hates Chris or Black-ish without the Huxtables.



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Lessons You Wished You Learned Earlier In Life – Part 2

Lessons You Wished You Learned Earlier In Life – Part 2

Have you ever heard that "Hindsight is 20/20"?

"It's easy to know the right thing to do after something has happened, but it's hard to predict the future".

Like many, I've made many mistakes in life, but I've also learned from those mistakes. If only I would've listened, I could've avoided unnecessary setbacks. I would do some things differently if I could go back. Hindsight is 20/20.

If you're a teenager, in your early 20s, 30s, or 40s, or if you're just young at heart, I promise you will want to read this 3-part series, and can save yourself from the mistakes that most people make and regret for the rest of their lives. If you haven't read Part 1, you can read it here

Let's continue the countdown with the sixth lesson, every action has consequences.

6. Every Action Has Consequences

As I age, I'm discovering how wise my father was. As a kid, he would remind me that every action/decision has intended and unintended consequences. Intended consequences are the outcomes we directly see as a result of our actions. But, unintended consequences are the outcomes we do not directly see. They are delayed consequences. 

What's The Point?

Just because you don't immediately see the consequences (mostly unintended) of your actions doesn't mean they're not happening. You can't see wind either. You can, however, see the consequences of the wind. 

There are intended and unintended consequences for all of our decisions. Sometimes they take years to realize. Let's continue with the countdown with the fifth lesson, time is a nonrenewable resource.

Just because you don't immediately see the consequences of your actions doesn't mean they're not happening.



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"Nobody ever did, or ever will, escape the consequences of his choices."
Alfred A. Montapert

5. Time is a Nonrenewable Resource

"A nonrenewable resource is a resource of economic value that cannot be readily replaced by natural means on a level equal to its consumption. Most fossil fuels, such as oil, natural gas and coal are considered nonrenewable resources", according to Investopedia

Like the aforementioned, time is a nonrenewable resource. It cannot be readily replaced by natural means.  What does that mean? You only have RIGHT NOW! 

You only have right now. Whatever you're doing this second, you'll never get that second back. So, you want to make sure that you capitalize on all of the time that you do have and make sure you realize that being alive and healthy is a gift.

Moreover, you want to take advantage of that and live life to your truest potential. Why? You're never going to get the time back that you you know are experiencing right now.

Remember to do more of whatever makes you happy. Why? Eventually, we're all going to run out of time, and that's just the truth of the matter.

Let's conclude today's post with the countdown with the fourth lesson, everything is temporary. 

Time is a nonrenewable resource. It cannot be readily replaced by natural means.



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"Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life."

Steve Jobs

4. Everything is Temporary

Everything is temporary and comes to an end. Wow, that's pretty dark, huh?

This lesson isn't meant to be dark, it's meant to wake you up! I don't want to sound fatalistic, but, everything comes to an end. I had lots of friends in high school and college. But, today, other than Facebook, I barely see or talk to them anymore.

I'm not mad at anyone and hopefully, no one's mad at me. People move on with their lives. They get married, move to different places, and it becomes difficult to stay in contact with them.  So, be aware of the fact that things change and that everything is temporary.

Embrace people in the moment. Don't take the relationships you have today for granted. Love the people around you while enjoying their presence. Be happy that you have that time with them now!

Why? Because everything is temporary and all good things come to an end! Take advantage of  now and live in the present moment.

I trust you found value in today's post and I'd love to hear your feedback on what lessons you've learned. 

Everything is temporary and comes to an end.



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“The only permanent thing in this life is that everything is temporary.”
Author Unknown

Lessons You Wished You Learned Earlier In Life

Lessons You Wished You Learned Earlier In Life

In 2005, Steve Jobs, founder of Apple Computer gave the Commencement Speech at Stanford University. Hidden in that speech is a powerful quote that resonates.

He said, “You can't connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something - your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life”.

The idea behind this quote is that, as much as we try to plan our lives ahead in advance, there’s always something that’s completely unpredictable about life that teaches needed lessons. Unfortunately, people wait too long before learning those needed lessons.  In today’s post, I’m sharing three of the nine lessons that people learn too late in life.  

If you're a teenager, in your early 20s, 30s, or 40s, or if you're just young at heart, I promise you will want to read this 3-part series, and can save yourself from the mistakes that most people make and regret for the rest of their lives. Let's begin the countdown with the ninth lesson, people will criticize you.

“You can't connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future..."

- Steve Jobs -

9.  People Will Criticize Me, So What?

Regardless of who you are, someone will criticize you. The fear of criticism kills momentum and gets in the way of creating the life that you want. If you're afraid what other people say and think about you, you might as well stay inside and give up now.

Remember this: The more successful you become, the more haters you’ll attract. It’s like that, and that’s the way it is. So, you have to decide who do you want to be. Do you want to live and become your friend, your parents, or somebody else?  

Or, do you want to live and create your own life? Remember, don't be afraid of criticism, do the things that you want to do, and live the life that you want to live. Let's continue with the countdown with the eighth lesson, you are responsible for your own happiness.

Remember this: The more successful you become, the more haters you’ll attract. 



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8. I Am Responsible For Creating My Own Happiness

Guess what? Happiness is your choice. Unfortunately, a lot of people think that happiness is something that some people have and some don't. But, the truth is, happiness is YOUR choice.

Here are two important truths I’ve discovered about happiness:

  1. Happiness is not an easy choice.
  2. It takes a daily work to be happy.

What does progress have to do with happiness? Happiness comes from making progress. If you're making progress towards your goals, you're going to experience happiness. Unfortunately, many people don't learn this until too late in life. Additionally, they may complain about getting the short end of the stick and choose to remain unhappy.

If you want to experience happiness, you have to take consistent daily action towards choosing happiness. Let's conclude today's countdown with the seventh lesson, be yourself.

Happiness comes from making progress. If you're making progress towards your goals, you're going to experience happiness. 



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“Don’t rely on someone else for your happiness and self-worth. Only you can be responsible for that.” 

- Stacey Charter -

7. Be You - Do You

I once heard someone say, “why be a cheap copy when you can be a great original”? 

Unfortunately, too many people wait too long to learn this valuable lesson. If you don’t have a firm grip on who you are, you’ll be tempted to borrow and live someone else’s life. 

Furthermore, many people (parents, friends, associates, colleagues, etc.) have opinions on who you should be. In fact, they’re willing to offer their unsolicited advice. The sooner you're  your own person, the sooner that you're happy with that person. Take Oscar Wilde's advice, “Be yourself; everyone else is already taken". 

I trust you found value in today's post and I'd love to hear your feedback on what lessons you've learned. 

”You may not control all the events that happen to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them."

- Maya Angelou-

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