by Clarence E. Stowers | Sep 24, 2021 | Empowerment, Family, Goals, History, Motivation, Parenting, Relationships, Television
The Cosby Show was a significant part of my young adult years.
The purpose of this post is not to debate Bill Cosby's legacy of legal troubles but to share how his show changed my life. It impacted me in a way I didn't really understand until I got older and saw how it changed how we looked at African-Americans on TV.
It gave me hope for what life could be like as a Black man. As an adult, it has inspired me to create my own world with positivity and laughter. Today's post will focus on 2 ways this show changed my life:
- My view of myself.
- My view of others.
The Cosby Changed My View of Myself
The Cosby Show was unlike anything that had come before on TV. It seemed to be ushering in a new era of multi-faceted television. In the 1990s, something changed, and shows with all-black casts were marketed towards all-black audiences. Black people have been on TV for years; however, they rarely appeared as people of education and means.
Shows like Good Times depicted black life as a struggle, even though most main characters were employed. Now we had The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air, but Will Smith was ditching his hometown for ritzy West Philadelphia (he's from East Philly).
We had Martin Lawrence as an underachiever; UPN's Homeboys in Outer Space, featuring two black astronauts who happened to be brothers; we had Living Single. The show was full of characters with advanced degrees from well-to-do families, but it still wasn't the Cosby Show.
Even though they did not always do it well, this show showed life as a family. They showed how absurd families could be and also the things that happen in families. We remember this show for its funny moments and its sincere moments. When the entire family sang along with little Rudy singing Margie Hendricks's part, it became an instant classic. It made you realize that your own family is not as fun.
The Cosby Show was unlike anything that had come before on TV. It seemed to be ushering in a new era of multi-faceted television.
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The Cosby Show Changed My View of Others
The Huxtables were cool parents. They danced, sang, and laughed all over the place. But they also held a mock trial to catch Theo in a lie and flipped out when Vanessa got caught wearing makeup after being told not to.
The Huxtables didn't want to be their kids' best friends or let them get away with anything. The show was a step in the tradition of shows like Leave It To Beaver and The Brady Bunch, but it also had a lot to say about race relations.
When I first saw this show, I didn't think anything of it. After all, there were black families on TV before the Huxtables came along. But as time went on, and as I grew older and saw the good and the bad of black sitcoms and television in general, I came to appreciate Bill Cosby's show for what it was: a trailblazing insight into African-American life.
The Huxtables didn't want to be their kids' best friends or let them get away with anything.
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The Cosby Show was different from other shows. People on The Cosby Show were friends and families. This made it so that people could relate to the show. It's hard to imagine families as different as those in Everybody Hates Chris or Black-ish without the Huxtables.
The Cosby Show was groundbreaking because it depicted upper-middle-class black families in a way that had never been seen before on television. This show is the reason why I wrote my book, "Finding Joy Despite Life's Hardships: A Guide to Overcoming Setbacks."
By reading this blog post, I hope you will appreciate black people's rich history on TV. I also hope it inspires you to keep fighting against racism and discrimination in our communities, whether through your words or actions.
And finally, if any of these points resonate with you and make sense to you, please consider pre-ordering a copy of my book "Finding Joy Despite Life's Hardships: A Guide to Overcoming Setbacks."
Thank you so much!
What TV shows impacted your life?
It's hard to imagine families as different as those in Everybody Hates Chris or Black-ish without the Huxtables.
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by Clarence E. Stowers | Jun 21, 2019 | Empowerment, Accountability, Decisions, Encouragement, Goals, Leadership, Motivation, Quotes, Self-Leadership, Success
Have you ever heard that "Hindsight is 20/20"?
"It's easy to know the right thing to do after something has happened, but it's hard to predict the future".
Like many, I've made many mistakes in life, but I've also learned from those mistakes. If only I would've listened, I could've avoided unnecessary setbacks. I would do some things differently if I could go back. Hindsight is 20/20.
If you're a teenager, in your early 20s, 30s, or 40s, or if you're just young at heart, I promise you will want to read this 3-part series, and can save yourself from the mistakes that most people make and regret for the rest of their lives. If you haven't read Part 1, you can read it here.
Let's continue the countdown with the sixth lesson, every action has consequences.
6. Every Action Has Consequences
As I age, I'm discovering how wise my father was. As a kid, he would remind me that every action/decision has intended and unintended consequences. Intended consequences are the outcomes we directly see as a result of our actions. But, unintended consequences are the outcomes we do not directly see. They are delayed consequences.
What's The Point?
Just because you don't immediately see the consequences (mostly unintended) of your actions doesn't mean they're not happening. You can't see wind either. You can, however, see the consequences of the wind.
There are intended and unintended consequences for all of our decisions. Sometimes they take years to realize. Let's continue with the countdown with the fifth lesson, time is a nonrenewable resource.
Just because you don't immediately see the consequences of your actions doesn't mean they're not happening.
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"Nobody ever did, or ever will, escape the consequences of his choices."
Alfred A. Montapert
5. Time is a Nonrenewable Resource
"A nonrenewable resource is a resource of economic value that cannot be readily replaced by natural means on a level equal to its consumption. Most fossil fuels, such as oil, natural gas and coal are considered nonrenewable resources", according to Investopedia.
Like the aforementioned, time is a nonrenewable resource. It cannot be readily replaced by natural means. What does that mean? You only have RIGHT NOW!
You only have right now. Whatever you're doing this second, you'll never get that second back. So, you want to make sure that you capitalize on all of the time that you do have and make sure you realize that being alive and healthy is a gift.
Moreover, you want to take advantage of that and live life to your truest potential. Why? You're never going to get the time back that you you know are experiencing right now.
Remember to do more of whatever makes you happy. Why? Eventually, we're all going to run out of time, and that's just the truth of the matter.
Let's conclude today's post with the countdown with the fourth lesson, everything is temporary.
Time is a nonrenewable resource. It cannot be readily replaced by natural means.
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"Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life."
Steve Jobs
4. Everything is Temporary
Everything is temporary and comes to an end. Wow, that's pretty dark, huh?
This lesson isn't meant to be dark, it's meant to wake you up! I don't want to sound fatalistic, but, everything comes to an end. I had lots of friends in high school and college. But, today, other than Facebook, I barely see or talk to them anymore.
I'm not mad at anyone and hopefully, no one's mad at me. People move on with their lives. They get married, move to different places, and it becomes difficult to stay in contact with them. So, be aware of the fact that things change and that everything is temporary.
Embrace people in the moment. Don't take the relationships you have today for granted. Love the people around you while enjoying their presence. Be happy that you have that time with them now!
Why? Because everything is temporary and all good things come to an end! Take advantage of now and live in the present moment.
I trust you found value in today's post and I'd love to hear your feedback on what lessons you've learned.
Everything is temporary and comes to an end.
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“The only permanent thing in this life is that everything is temporary.”
Author Unknown
by Clarence E. Stowers | Jun 19, 2019 | Empowerment, Accountability, Decisions, Encouragement, Excellence, Goals, Motivation, Quotes, Self-Leadership, Success, Vision
In 2005, Steve Jobs, founder of Apple Computer gave the Commencement Speech at Stanford University. Hidden in that speech is a powerful quote that resonates.
He said, “You can't connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something - your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life”.
The idea behind this quote is that, as much as we try to plan our lives ahead in advance, there’s always something that’s completely unpredictable about life that teaches needed lessons. Unfortunately, people wait too long before learning those needed lessons. In today’s post, I’m sharing three of the nine lessons that people learn too late in life.
If you're a teenager, in your early 20s, 30s, or 40s, or if you're just young at heart, I promise you will want to read this 3-part series, and can save yourself from the mistakes that most people make and regret for the rest of their lives. Let's begin the countdown with the ninth lesson, people will criticize you.
“You can't connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future..."
9. People Will Criticize Me, So What?
Regardless of who you are, someone will criticize you. The fear of criticism kills momentum and gets in the way of creating the life that you want. If you're afraid what other people say and think about you, you might as well stay inside and give up now.
Remember this: The more successful you become, the more haters you’ll attract. It’s like that, and that’s the way it is. So, you have to decide who do you want to be. Do you want to live and become your friend, your parents, or somebody else?
Or, do you want to live and create your own life? Remember, don't be afraid of criticism, do the things that you want to do, and live the life that you want to live. Let's continue with the countdown with the eighth lesson, you are responsible for your own happiness.
Remember this: The more successful you become, the more haters you’ll attract.
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8. I Am Responsible For Creating My Own Happiness
Guess what? Happiness is your choice. Unfortunately, a lot of people think that happiness is something that some people have and some don't. But, the truth is, happiness is YOUR choice.
Here are two important truths I’ve discovered about happiness:
- Happiness is not an easy choice.
- It takes a daily work to be happy.
What does progress have to do with happiness? Happiness comes from making progress. If you're making progress towards your goals, you're going to experience happiness. Unfortunately, many people don't learn this until too late in life. Additionally, they may complain about getting the short end of the stick and choose to remain unhappy.
If you want to experience happiness, you have to take consistent daily action towards choosing happiness. Let's conclude today's countdown with the seventh lesson, be yourself.
Happiness comes from making progress. If you're making progress towards your goals, you're going to experience happiness.
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“Don’t rely on someone else for your happiness and self-worth. Only you can be responsible for that.”
7. Be You - Do You
I once heard someone say, “why be a cheap copy when you can be a great original”?
Unfortunately, too many people wait too long to learn this valuable lesson. If you don’t have a firm grip on who you are, you’ll be tempted to borrow and live someone else’s life.
Furthermore, many people (parents, friends, associates, colleagues, etc.) have opinions on who you should be. In fact, they’re willing to offer their unsolicited advice. The sooner you're your own person, the sooner that you're happy with that person. Take Oscar Wilde's advice, “Be yourself; everyone else is already taken".
I trust you found value in today's post and I'd love to hear your feedback on what lessons you've learned.
”You may not control all the events that happen to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them."
by Clarence E. Stowers | Aug 16, 2016 | Encouragement, Book Reviews, Decisions, Empowerment, Leadership, Motivation, Self-Leadership, Success, Vision
Depending on who you ask, success looks different and has many definitions.
Although some define it differently, successful people have common trains. According to Dr. Henry Cloud, author of Never Go Back: 10 Things You’ll Never Do Again,
Successful people have certain realizations, or awakenings, that change the course of their lives forever in a positive way. These realizations are essential to a good life and are both scientifically and spiritually backed.
He describes ten of those awakenings in Never Go Back: 10 Things You’ll Never Do Again. The first awakening, Never Again Return to What Hasen’t Worked hit me like a ton of bricks.
Never Again Return to What Hasn’t Worked
Make sure that if you ‘go back’ [to an old relationship, an old job, an old way of thinking] you’re not going back to the same thing . . . Remember there’s a reason it didn’t work. If you’re going back make very, very sure that reason is no longer there. . . Ask these questions: Am I different in some way that would make this work? Is the other person different in some way that would make this work? Is the situation fundamentally different in some way that would make this work? (pp. 17-18).
Everyone makes mistakes, even the most successful people out there. But, what successful people do better than others is recognize the patterns that are causing those mistakes and never repeat them again. In short, they learn from pain—their own and the pain of others.
[shareable cite=”Dr. Henry Cloud”]Never Again Return to What Hasn’t Worked[/shareable]
I once heard someone say,
A good thing to remember is this: pain is unavoidable, but repeating the same pain twice, when we could choose to learn and do something different, is certainly avoidable.
I’d love to hear your thoughts, do you agree or disagree?
[shareable]Successful people recognize bad patterns and mistakes and never repeat them again. In short, they learn from pain.[/shareable]
by Clarence E. Stowers | Jul 14, 2016 | Encouragement, Christian, Christianity, Current Affairs, Decisions, Empowerment, Leadership, Motivation, Self-Leadership, Success, Vision
What happens when you combine trust, faith, and hope? They produce grit.
According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, grit in the context of behavior is defined as “firmness of character; indomitable spirit.”
In light of the recent deaths of Alton Sterling, Philando Castile, and five Dallas Police Officers, I decided to tweak this definition to be the ability to keep going despite setbacks, even when your efforts are not rewarded. Grit is what you need when facing dark days and sleepless nights.
[shareable]Grit is the ability to keep going despite setbacks even when your efforts aren’t rewarded.[/shareable]
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by Clarence E. Stowers | Jun 8, 2016 | Empowerment, Decisions, Encouragement, Goals, Leadership, Motivation, Self-Leadership, Success
Starting something new is much easier than transitioning something established.
Currently, I serve as lead pastor of the Mars Hill Baptist Church of Chicago. I succeeded my father, the late Rev. Dr. Clarence E. Stowers, Sr. who served for thirty-six years. The church I inherited was a traditional African American Baptist Church rich with tradition.
After five years of praying, meeting, teaching, leading, and building supportive teams, we transitioned to a contemporary church. During the process, I almost quit, but decided to pivot and stick it out. It was the best decision of my life. In life, you’ll eventually come to a crossroad. When it happens, you must decide if you’ll stick with it, quit, or pivot. How do you know which choice is best? I chose to pivot.
In life, you’ll eventually come to a crossroad. When it happens, you must decide if you’ll stick with it, quit, or pivot. How do you know which choice is best? I chose to pivot.
So What Does it Mean to Pivot
I love sports, and when I hear the word pivot, immediately basketball comes to mind. When basketball players stop dribbling the ball, they must decide which foot is their pivot foot. Upon deciding, they can’t switch feet. Pivoting is the term used to define both the act of keeping one foot in place while moving the other and the actual foot which remains on the ground.
Keeping one foot in place is necessary when a player stops dribbling the ball but wishes to reposition himself for a pass or shot. A player may rotate and move around as long as one foot remains in place, on the floor. The foot chosen is known as the “pivot”, or “pivot foot”, and if it comes off the ground, or otherwise shifts position away from its original spot on the floor, a travelling violation will be called.
[shareable]Starting something new is much easier than transitioning something established.[/shareable]
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