by Clarence E. Stowers | Sep 21, 2008 | Christian, Christianity, Church Issues, Empowerment, Leadership
LEADERSHIP CAN BE EXHAUSTING!
As I shared last week, at Mars Hill, we have been trying to get our minds and hearts around some of the data that points to unmet expectations. What do you do when not as many people are inviting their friends…not as many are growing in Christ…not as many are tithing…not as many are reading their Bible…not as many are attending…and not as many are being baptized?
These questions are very real for us right now, and over the next few days I will share some of the stages of unmet expectations I have recently experienced…
WHEN WE EXPERIENCE UNMET EXPECTATIONS, WE TEND TO BLAME OTHERS.
It's the fault of the congregation. They stopped giving. They stopped inviting their friends. They think they're mature and deep, but they aren't contributing to the cause.They are whining but not helping.
MY RESPONSE: In our frustration, we tend to blame the people. Sometimes we might even design messages with a prophetic tone to get them to be better, stronger and more committed. Rather than lead them through the difficulty, we preach them through it.
Three down…two to go…
by Clarence E. Stowers | Sep 17, 2008 | Christianity, Church Issues, Empowerment, Leadership
LEADERSHIP CAN BE STRESSFUL!
As I shared earlier this week, at Mars Hill, we have been trying to get our
minds and hearts around some of the data that points to unmet
expectations. What do you do when not as many people are inviting
their friends…not as many are growing in Christ…not as many are
tithing…not as many are reading their Bible…not as many are
attending…and not as many are being baptized?
These
questions are very real for us right now, and over the next few days I will
share some of the stages of unmet expectations I have recently
experienced…
WHEN WE EXPERIENCE UNMET EXPECTATIONS, WE TEND TO QUESTION THE DATA. Perhaps the stats are wrong. Maybe we didn't ask the question in the right way. I bet a certain category of people refused to take the survey and so the results are skewed.
I once heard someone say, "figures don't lie; but liars know how to figure."
MY RESPONSE: When we don't like what the data says, it is so easy to question its' validity. We look deep for one anomaly – one thing that sticks out. We find the one piece where we can cast doubt on the data…thus causing a large shadow over all the findings. Here's the problem: It makes it easier to say everything is okay. We tend to say, "The problem isn't the church – we're good, it's the data."
WRONG!!!
It's like the person who continues to squeeze into clothes/shoes that are too small – the data says either loose weight or go to the next size.
Two down…three to go…
by Clarence E. Stowers | Sep 15, 2008 | Christianity, Church Issues, Empowerment, Leadership
LEADERSHIP CAN BE FRUSTRATING!
Perhaps you've heard of the five stages of grief (denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance). I wonder if a similar list could help define the stages a leader goes through when his or her organization fails to meet certain expectations.
In the past year at Mars Hill, we have been trying to get our minds and hearts around some of the data that points to unmet expectations. What do you do when not as many people are inviting their friends…not as many are growing in Christ…not as many are tithing…not as many are reading their Bible…not as many are attending…and not as many are being baptized?
These questions are very real for us right now, and the next few days I will share some of the stages of unmet expectations I have recently experienced…
- WHEN WE EXPERIENCE UNMET EXPECTATIONS, WE TEND TO JUSTIFY: Well, the attendance is down because of the weather. Everyone is at home entertaining, shopping, golfing, etc. People aren't reading their Bibles because we have so many who are exploring Christ. The economy is terrible so people aren't giving.
MY RESPONSE: Sometimes there are rational reasons for failure, but if you continue to explain it away over time, it begins to look like an excuse rather than a reason. You can justify a week or even an entire season…but it's difficult to justify trends that are happening over time.
One down…four more to go…
by Clarence E. Stowers | Jul 23, 2008 | Christian, Christianity, Empowerment, Leadership, Vision
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dW9jk6lEqbE&hl=en&fs=1]
Beginning August 3, 2008, we’ll offer a 3-part series to lay out the changes coming to Mars Hill this fall: It’s called “Trading Candy for Pearls.”
The countdown begins…
by Clarence E. Stowers | Jun 30, 2008 | Bible Journey, Christian, Christianity, Church Issues, Communication, Family
I would like for you all to say hello to my guest blogger Chandra Ivy-Oliver. Along with others, she took the challenge to offer practical steps to help others struggling with revenge.
Dr. David Hawkins, author of ‘Dealing With the Crazy Makers in Your Life’ says “People come in all shapes and sizes. I have no problem with that. However, when these people are in my life, and they are bona fide, dyed in the wool, Certifiable Crazy Makers, I’m no longer as friendly or hospitable. Click here to read the how he deals with these people.
Dr. David Hawkins
The Relationship Doctor
Chandra’s Response to What if its family that keeps hurting you?
I believe in giving chances, not just a second chance, but chances. God had given us chance after chance when we hurt or do wrong, because I know he has done it for me. But I would start off by telling the person that is doing the hurt, how they act or react is hurting your relationship. The person doing the hurt will always blame it on you, not because it’s really your fault, but because you are the reasonable and considerate person trying to make thing right or easier.
Ex: It’s just like having a toddler with a tantrum, you keep giving in and he or she will keep acting out. Family can be the same way, there is that one person who keeps hurting you, but they only do it in public where they can front on you, then when your home or on the phone, they apologize and want forgiveness. And you accept the apology, because you want to be like Christ and forgive. If it keeps happening you need to talk to God, remain prayerful, calm, firm and clear. Reading your Bible while dealing with this hurt. Colossians 3: 8-25 helps you clearly understand.
Thanks Chandra, you hit the nail on the head!
by Clarence E. Stowers | Jun 30, 2008 | Bible Journey, Christian, Christianity, Communication, Relationships
I would like for you all to say hello to my guest blogger Falana Coleman-Zamora. Along with others, she took the challenge to offer practical steps to help others struggling with revenge.
The Questions:
What if its family that keeps hurting you?
What should you do when your friends continue to “pull the scab” off a hurt that you have forgiven?
Falana’s Response:
“I believe in healthy confrontation. I thinks it’s perfectly appropriate to communicate to friends and loved ones that their behaviors are negatively impacting us. I have found that more times than not they have no idea that their behavior or repeated remarks about the past hurt others. (It’s amazing how self involved humans have managed to become.) If we openly communicate with one another I believe that true healing can begin for all parties involved.”
Nicely done Falana!
Pastor Stowers
