by Clarence E. Stowers | Sep 6, 2021 | Empowerment, Leadership, Self-Leadership
We all want to be liked and appreciated. It's just human nature. But it doesn't always happen, does it? There are times when you're going to have to make a tough decision that people will not agree with or like.
This is the hard truth about leadership, but there are ways around this problem (which we'll cover in this post). You can still lead effectively even if not everyone agrees with you. We'll prove that being respected as a leader is most important!
Every leader must accept three complex realities, but it's difficult for some to get. Regardless of how you feel about it, the fact is that you are going to hate this news.
The first harsh truth about leadership: If you are a leader, not everyone will agree with you - or even like you.
Not Everyone Will Agree With or Like You
At some point in our lives, we all want to be accepted and appreciated. We desire for people to agree with us. Cheers are preferred to boos. It's tough being the bad guy. (Unless you're a villain.)
The unpleasant reality is that someone will disagree with your decisions if you lead anything, and you'll split people into opposing camps. There will be advocates and critics. (Keep in mind that there has never been a president of the United States, pastor, or CEO - with perfect approval ratings.)
Leading is problematic because it takes people into the unknown. Leadership challenges the status quo. It stretches people and organizations. It brings change, and change is permanently attached to an emotion.
Even when this entails sacrificing approval ratings, leaders must be prepared to lead towards the organization's goal. The only way to avoid this truth is not to lead. In addition to everyone not agreeing or liking you, leadership is also lonely.
The unpleasant reality is that someone will disagree with your decisions if you lead anything, and you'll split people into opposing camps.
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Leadership is Lonely
Great leadership has a lot in common with being lonely.
That probably seems strange and even counterintuitive when you think about leadership as a role that demands connection, collaboration, and communication. You need to lead teams and help them understand your vision so they can do their jobs better. And leadership means having the support of those around you to help push through challenges and accomplish your goals.
But leadership is also lonely. It can often feel like you carry the weight of responsibility on your shoulders. You make difficult decisions that might not go over well with everyone, and then you have to move forward, knowing things could get worse before they get better.
And when people around you don't understand what leadership means or why you make the decisions you do, that can exacerbate your feelings of loneliness.
Lonely leadership is leadership where a leader feels isolated and misunderstood by their team, feeling that they carry the weight of responsibility on their shoulders and often do not want to share this burden with others because it's not something to be proud of or something to boast about.
This leadership is mainly characterized by the leadership feeling isolated and misunderstood by their team, feeling that they carry the weight of responsibility on their shoulders.
Lonely leadership usually results in leadership becoming or feeling isolated from others which causes additional pressure for leadership because leadership feels responsible for the well-being of their team.
Lonely leadership can often lead to leadership feeling more pressure and even experiencing additional mental health issues like depression and anxiety. Leadership is an all-consuming role where they have little time for themselves.
Leadership is also lonely. It can often feel like you carry the weight of responsibility on your shoulders.
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You Don't Have to Wait For Someone to Give You Permission To Lead
I have a question for you: How do you decide what action to take when it feels like everyone else has already decided for you?
It's a common problem in business. You're on the team that's supposed to be taking care of the product, but somehow that duty and responsibility keep getting shuffled around or thrown onto your shoulders. You've tried to speak up about the issues you see and offer solutions, but no one seems to be listening.
The problem here is that leadership isn't a position; it's an action. And as leadership expert Simon Sinek explains: "leadership happens when you take the initiative." Being in leadership doesn't mean waiting for someone else to permit you before taking action.
If leadership is an action, how do you go about showing leadership when it feels like leadership doesn't exist? Here are a few key steps:
- Stop waiting for someone else to take leadership first.
- Be the first person to step up and take responsibility for something that isn't working.
- Don't expect people to follow you until you show leadership.
- Ask yourself: "What would a leader do?" Then go out and do it!
- Show your leadership no matter where you are, even if leadership isn't currently recognized or appreciated. It may be more important to do so in the areas of your life where leadership is not appreciated.
It's leadership by example, and it's leadership at its finest.
When you take the initiative and act as a leader, even when leadership doesn't exist, you'll overtake leadership in other areas of your organization. People will see that leadership isn't just action when it comes to a leadership role. It's also an action in everyday situations and interactions – leadership is everywhere!
Successful leadership isn't just about leadership positions either. There are countless stories from disadvantaged people who have risen through the ranks simply by exhibiting leadership skills at work, in schools, even at home. They didn't wait for leadership positions before acting as leaders. They just went out and became leadership-like examples in their everyday lives.
Being in leadership doesn't mean waiting for someone else to permit you before taking action.
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Conclusion
There are a lot of challenges that come with being in leadership. It can be lonely, complicated, and some people won't agree or like you. You don't have to wait for someone else to give you permission before taking action, but there is no denying it's challenging work leading others from the front lines day-in and day-out.
Here's a strong statement I would offer to those who aspire to lead. And, in good faith and humility, I make this claim. It's not intended to discourage you from leading; instead, it serves to assist you in deciding whether or not you should.
If you thrive on the praise of others more than your dedication to making hard decisions and doing the correct thing for the company, I suggest you avoid becoming a leader. If you want to be popular instead of leading, try selling ice cream.
If any of this sounds familiar to you (or if you're looking for guidance), schedule your FREE 30-minute strategy call today! We'll discuss how we can help make your next big idea happen NOW so that by the time tomorrow rolls around - YOU'VE ALREADY WON!
by Clarence E. Stowers | Sep 3, 2021 | Christian, Christianity, Church Issues, Current Affairs, Encouragement, Leadership, Mars Hill Baptist Church, Success
Once, there were two pastors: one led a very successful church, while the other was never taken seriously. Neither pastor attended seminary, yet both had risen in ministry to lead their churches for years.
The first pastor led his church through covid-19, and his church is thriving; it has grown exponentially since covid-19, taking in new members. The church is thriving during covid-19 because of this pastor and his leadership team.
The second pastor's church has struggled since covid-19. After Covid, the church dwindled to a small group who sat in an empty sanctuary every Sunday. The church became so small that their attendees decided to meet in a house. Even though this pastor is still leading his church, he is not leading them very well.
Even if we don't want it to, the COVID-19 pandemic crisis is a turning point for the church. The church's aim has not changed. However, execution of that goal varies during COVID-19 and will undoubtedly differ after the epidemic is over.
You can't usually do what you were doing previously in a crisis. The situation requires us to perform the task differently. That's all there is to it. It comes down to a simple choice: will you want to be a pre-COVID-19 church that refuses to recognize the pandemic's potential for innovative ministry or a post-COVID-19 church that views the crisis as an opportunity to revitalize its ministry?
An opportunity not only emphasizes the church's goal — to make disciples — but also calls attention to God's call on our lives. Is God inviting us into something new?
We need to be careful not to transfer nonessential practices from pre-COVID-19 into post-COVID-19, anything that jeopardizes our mission or vision. The church's disruption will be more long-lasting than COVID-19 if we continue engaging in nonessential activities and busyness.
Even if we don't want it to, the COVID-19 pandemic crisis is a turning point for the church.
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What We Do is not as Important as WHY We Do What We Do
As we try to figure out how to function post-Covid, the "why" might disappear amid the endless logistics of moving from old ways of doing church to new. We have to stay focused on the church's original purpose, its mission.
In addition to reminding ourselves about why we do what we do, it would be wise of us to make a list of post-COVID-19 intentions and purposes that are essential for our churches' health. We need to prioritize the list. And then we have to ask ourselves: are these priorities or activities essential?
The importance of the "why" cannot be overstated. Now more than ever, the "why" is crucial. The church is fragile, but its "why" has a long reach. The church's why has staying power.
If the church and pastors are not careful, we will revert back to our old ways of doing church post-pandemic. We do not want that to happen because Covid-19 provides us with a golden opportunity to clarify our mission and explore innovative ways of doing ministry.
If the church and pastors are not careful, we will revert back to our old ways of doing church post-pandemic.
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Remember The Past, Don't Re-live It
Pastors and church leaders who wish to return to the way things were before the pandemic, there is no indication that they have learned any lessons.
Uncertainty is the only sure thing. It's wise to expect the unexpected because we rarely get what we desire. We can be fortunate and figure out why something has occurred. However, the greatest lesson we can take away is that a person may discover a lesson and learn from it, which is preferable to being lucky any day.
Maybe we've been asking the wrong questions all along. We used to rely on in-person worship and small groups before COVID-19.
"When are we going back to in-person services?" "When can we have Sunday school or small groups again?" These are the wrong questions to ask. Instead, we should be asking questions such as:
- How can I serve my community during covid-19?
- What are some innovative forms of ministry that will engage the church?
We need to embrace change and try new things. We have to do what is necessary to adapt to covid-19 circumstances. And then we have to be creative.
Pastors and church leaders who wish to return to the way things were before the pandemic, there is no indication that they have learned any lessons.
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Keep The Main Thing The Main Thing
COVID-19 has given some people an opportunity to rediscover gratitude. Others have learned the significance of generosity and perseverance. But what is the purpose?
Gratitude, generosity, and patience are all lessons taught by the church in response to the crisis. Most churches focus on protecting the community and maintaining the status quo, often at the expense of excluding others. But how can excluding individuals help those who are doing it?
Before the pandemic, making disciples was hard. Why? People use social media and other things to talk about things that are not good for their faith. Keeping the main thing (our mission) is good because it will keep the leaders from being distracted by things that cause division.
COVID-19 has generated new questions about the church, but it is not a crisis in itself. The church was born to keep people focused on Christ during every crisis and challenge. COVID-19 provides an opportunity for the church to reflect on its mission again.
The church's disruption will be more long-lasting than COVID-19 if we continue engaging in nonessential activities and busyness. This pandemic has given some people an opportunity to rediscover gratitude. Others have learned the significance of generosity and perseverance.
God gave us this opportunity to rediscover and uncover what we've taken for granted, such as giving and gratitude. At the heart of it all, you will find mission-focused, Christ-like leaders who possess a deep conviction toward the mission of God.
A new breed of church leader will emerge post-covid-19, able to lead in the power and love of Jesus Christ over all obstacles. They will be mindful about what matters most while enduring hardship so that others also might make it through.
Are there additional moves you see that the church must make in order to thrive post-Covid?
The church was born to keep people focused on Christ during every crisis and challenge.
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by Clarence E. Stowers | Jun 21, 2019 | Empowerment, Accountability, Decisions, Encouragement, Goals, Leadership, Motivation, Quotes, Self-Leadership, Success
Have you ever heard that "Hindsight is 20/20"?
"It's easy to know the right thing to do after something has happened, but it's hard to predict the future".
Like many, I've made many mistakes in life, but I've also learned from those mistakes. If only I would've listened, I could've avoided unnecessary setbacks. I would do some things differently if I could go back. Hindsight is 20/20.
If you're a teenager, in your early 20s, 30s, or 40s, or if you're just young at heart, I promise you will want to read this 3-part series, and can save yourself from the mistakes that most people make and regret for the rest of their lives. If you haven't read Part 1, you can read it here.
Let's continue the countdown with the sixth lesson, every action has consequences.
6. Every Action Has Consequences
As I age, I'm discovering how wise my father was. As a kid, he would remind me that every action/decision has intended and unintended consequences. Intended consequences are the outcomes we directly see as a result of our actions. But, unintended consequences are the outcomes we do not directly see. They are delayed consequences.
What's The Point?
Just because you don't immediately see the consequences (mostly unintended) of your actions doesn't mean they're not happening. You can't see wind either. You can, however, see the consequences of the wind.
There are intended and unintended consequences for all of our decisions. Sometimes they take years to realize. Let's continue with the countdown with the fifth lesson, time is a nonrenewable resource.
Just because you don't immediately see the consequences of your actions doesn't mean they're not happening.
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"Nobody ever did, or ever will, escape the consequences of his choices."
Alfred A. Montapert
5. Time is a Nonrenewable Resource
"A nonrenewable resource is a resource of economic value that cannot be readily replaced by natural means on a level equal to its consumption. Most fossil fuels, such as oil, natural gas and coal are considered nonrenewable resources", according to Investopedia.
Like the aforementioned, time is a nonrenewable resource. It cannot be readily replaced by natural means. What does that mean? You only have RIGHT NOW!
You only have right now. Whatever you're doing this second, you'll never get that second back. So, you want to make sure that you capitalize on all of the time that you do have and make sure you realize that being alive and healthy is a gift.
Moreover, you want to take advantage of that and live life to your truest potential. Why? You're never going to get the time back that you you know are experiencing right now.
Remember to do more of whatever makes you happy. Why? Eventually, we're all going to run out of time, and that's just the truth of the matter.
Let's conclude today's post with the countdown with the fourth lesson, everything is temporary.
Time is a nonrenewable resource. It cannot be readily replaced by natural means.
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"Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life."
Steve Jobs
4. Everything is Temporary
Everything is temporary and comes to an end. Wow, that's pretty dark, huh?
This lesson isn't meant to be dark, it's meant to wake you up! I don't want to sound fatalistic, but, everything comes to an end. I had lots of friends in high school and college. But, today, other than Facebook, I barely see or talk to them anymore.
I'm not mad at anyone and hopefully, no one's mad at me. People move on with their lives. They get married, move to different places, and it becomes difficult to stay in contact with them. So, be aware of the fact that things change and that everything is temporary.
Embrace people in the moment. Don't take the relationships you have today for granted. Love the people around you while enjoying their presence. Be happy that you have that time with them now!
Why? Because everything is temporary and all good things come to an end! Take advantage of now and live in the present moment.
I trust you found value in today's post and I'd love to hear your feedback on what lessons you've learned.
Everything is temporary and comes to an end.
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“The only permanent thing in this life is that everything is temporary.”
Author Unknown
by Clarence E. Stowers | Dec 12, 2018 | Empowerment, Decisions, Encouragement, Leadership, Self-Leadership, Success
Have you ever said things like this to yourself:
- “Does everything happen for reason”?
- “Every season has a reason”
- “Trust the process”
- “It just wasn’t meant to be”.
- “Even though I don’t understand everything now, everything happens for reason”.
Isn’t it amazing, but as we age in life, we have this insatiable desire to make sense out of the random things that happen in life?
We want our lives to be like the perfect jigsaw puzzle. A place where everything fits neatly and we can step back and understand how it all works together.
Everyone wants life to make sense.
Every time we experience an event, like a puzzle piece, we know exactly where it goes. Wouldn’t that be great? All of this is fine and dandy until we hit the big bumps in life and the only question we can ask is why? We want to know where do these pieces fit in life’s puzzle… random puzzle pieces like divorce, financial struggles, medical challenges, and friends stabbing you in the back.
We want to believe this wasn’t in the plan and say to ourselves, “I don’t know where this piece of the puzzle fits… It’s random. As a matter fact God, I don’t even like this piece, it’s the wrong color, and it doesn’t go or fit my puzzle.”
When people are going through a difficult season, let’s stop saying: “Well, that’s just how life goes. That’s life. Stuff happens”. It’s in all of us to want to help people make sense out of life’s random puzzle pieces. It’s in us… It’s human nature.
Randomness Draws Us To Jesus
For most of us, this is how we came to know Jesus. We looked at the picture on the box of the puzzle of how our life is supposed to be, and it looks nothing like the picture on the box. We found the edges color matched each piece, and when we received a random piece that didn’t look like a puzzle, it didn’t make sense. It eventually drew us to God.
That’s the beauty of following God. We don’t know with everything fits. We don’t know what he’s up to, so we exercise our faith. That’s what the Christmas story is all about. Got dipping down into humanity and making sense of all of the random puzzle pieces in the life of Mary and Joseph.
The Christmas Story Seems Random
The events of the Christmas story seem kind of random: a decree from Caesar, an engaged virgin, an angelic announcement, wise men giving gifts, and no room at the inn, This doesn’t sound like the story we’d write if we were God. Like Mary and Joseph, some of the circumstances we may be dealing with this year isn’t exactly what we’d write for our own stories either.
Something to Remember
“In the face of life’s seeming randomness, we can take comfort in the fact that God is active in the world. The Christmas story confirms that he is at work in the midst of darkness. As Christmas approaches, remind yourself that nothing just happens and life’s random puzzle pieces are a part of a bigger story”, according to Andy Stanley.
by Clarence E. Stowers | Aug 16, 2016 | Encouragement, Book Reviews, Decisions, Empowerment, Leadership, Motivation, Self-Leadership, Success, Vision
Depending on who you ask, success looks different and has many definitions.
Although some define it differently, successful people have common trains. According to Dr. Henry Cloud, author of Never Go Back: 10 Things You’ll Never Do Again,
Successful people have certain realizations, or awakenings, that change the course of their lives forever in a positive way. These realizations are essential to a good life and are both scientifically and spiritually backed.
He describes ten of those awakenings in Never Go Back: 10 Things You’ll Never Do Again. The first awakening, Never Again Return to What Hasen’t Worked hit me like a ton of bricks.
Never Again Return to What Hasn’t Worked
Make sure that if you ‘go back’ [to an old relationship, an old job, an old way of thinking] you’re not going back to the same thing . . . Remember there’s a reason it didn’t work. If you’re going back make very, very sure that reason is no longer there. . . Ask these questions: Am I different in some way that would make this work? Is the other person different in some way that would make this work? Is the situation fundamentally different in some way that would make this work? (pp. 17-18).
Everyone makes mistakes, even the most successful people out there. But, what successful people do better than others is recognize the patterns that are causing those mistakes and never repeat them again. In short, they learn from pain—their own and the pain of others.
[shareable cite=”Dr. Henry Cloud”]Never Again Return to What Hasn’t Worked[/shareable]
I once heard someone say,
A good thing to remember is this: pain is unavoidable, but repeating the same pain twice, when we could choose to learn and do something different, is certainly avoidable.
I’d love to hear your thoughts, do you agree or disagree?
[shareable]Successful people recognize bad patterns and mistakes and never repeat them again. In short, they learn from pain.[/shareable]
by Clarence E. Stowers | Jul 14, 2016 | Encouragement, Christian, Christianity, Current Affairs, Decisions, Empowerment, Leadership, Motivation, Self-Leadership, Success, Vision
What happens when you combine trust, faith, and hope? They produce grit.
According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, grit in the context of behavior is defined as “firmness of character; indomitable spirit.”
In light of the recent deaths of Alton Sterling, Philando Castile, and five Dallas Police Officers, I decided to tweak this definition to be the ability to keep going despite setbacks, even when your efforts are not rewarded. Grit is what you need when facing dark days and sleepless nights.
[shareable]Grit is the ability to keep going despite setbacks even when your efforts aren’t rewarded.[/shareable]
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