by Clarence E. Stowers | Feb 18, 2012 | regular
Do Clothes Really Matter? How important is what we wear? Can people look through all the superficial fluff of fashion and see the real us?
The answer? Usually not.
Researchers have come up with scientific evidence to prove that what you wear actually does make a difference in how you influence the world around you.
Let’s face it: First impressions make lasting impressions. As I continue to age gracefully, I’m even more conscious of my appearance and attire. Gone are the days when we can roll out of bed, throw on a jogging suit, and jumpstart your day.
Behavioral scientists tell us that the effect of a first impression is a strong one. The process of sizing you up is something that goes on almost subconsciously. Your evaluation by a stranger takes 30 seconds or less. It can be so strong that it could take as long as five years to erase.
Honestly, I take my style cues from President Barack Obama, bankers, lawyers, and CEO’s. Why? “You never get a second chance to make a first impression.” -Will Rogers
Here’s My Top 20 list of style cues:
- The fit of clothing is the most notable thing about your wardrobe; you can buy the most expensive attire but if it is not the right size or does not fit your body proportions correctly it will look sloppy.
- Buy the best that you can afford within your budget; quality will not only look better but will last longer.
- Black shoes black belt; brown shoes brown belt.
- No socks with sandals. PERIOD!
- If the suit does not fit in the shoulders, don’t buy it; shoulders cannot be altered.
- The sleeve of a dress shirt should show from beneath the sleeve of your suit coat, anywhere from 1/4 to 1/ 2 inch.
- Invest in quality well-made leather dress shoes – and take care of them; use shoe trees and clean, wax and polish them regularly and they will easily last you a lifetime.
- If you wear any kind of sandal, clean your feet, cut your toenails, and make them presentable.
- Trim your eyebrows, pluck ear hairs and clip nose hairs, nobody wants to be whispering sweet nothings to you only to see ear hairs blowing in the wind.
- Don’t dump half a bottle of cologne on, your scent should only be detectable up close and personal.
- Wear clothing that is appropriate not only for the occasion but appropriate for your age.
- True athletic shoes should be worn while doing something athletic.
- Socks should match the pants.
- Black actually does go with everything, as does grey.
- Every guy should own at least one suit for occasions such as weddings, funerals, job interviews; a navy blue or charcoal grey two-button single-breasted one will serve you well.
- A light colored suit is not appropriate for evening functions; it may be wise to invest in a tuxedo.
- Brown leather dress shoes do indeed go with navy blue and grey suits and dress pants.
- Pocket squares should compliment the outfit and not match identically to your shirt or tie or anything else.
- Go bald gracefully, cut your hair short and don’t worry about it.
- A man of style will treat others in the same manner that he’d like to be treated in return.
Why not take advantage of the research on human nature and utilize the knowledge to enhance and control how you are accepted? Since apparel covers about 90 percent of our bodies, the clothing you choose makes a significant impact. This is such a critical area, and one in which you can effect the greatest impression.
What did I miss? What would you add to the list?
by Clarence E. Stowers | Feb 13, 2012 | regular
Can someone please explain to me what’s wrong with Nicki Minaj?
First, she arrived on the red carpet supposedly channeling her “Roman Zolanski” alter ego. That required a custom-made Versace outfit consisting of a blood-red, nun-inspired satin robe. Her “date” was an older man dressed to resemble the pope. I’m not Catholic, but I’m outraged at her blatant disrespect of the church.
If you haven’t seen the video, you can view it HERE.
(KEVIN MAZUR/WIREIMAGE)
Next, Her “performance” consisted of an onstage exorcism, seemingly on herself, complete with levitations, fire, lighting and gibberish. As a white-hooded, goth-like church choir sang a chilling rendition of “Come All Ye Faithful,” (Source: Fox News).
Can someone please tell Nicki that Madonna did that “Catholic Thing” more than 20 years ago? And Lady Gaga pulled it of just recently?
“This was not a stage performance; it was a satanic platform” according to my friend Pastor Darron Edwards. I agree wholeheartedly! In 2 Corinthians 4:4, we’re reminded “The god of this age (satan) has blinded the minds of unbelievers, so that the cannot see the light of the gospel that displays the glory of Christ, who is the image of God.”
Moreover, in Ephesians 2:2, “satan is the prince of the power of the air. He is still in the office of control over this world and its affairs insofar as God allows him to exercise that control.”
To say, for example, that Satan is the “prince of the power of the air” is to signify that in some way he rules over the world and the people in it.
This is not to say that he rules the world completely; only God does this. But, it does mean that God, in His infinite wisdom, has allowed Satan to operate in this world (within the boundaries God has set for him) and has allowed Satan to operate with an agenda.
What makes Nicki’s Performance So Dangerous?
Adults and children have a natural minds that are in tune with the devil’s wavelength (Eph. 2:2). It picks up satan’s attitudes as expressed by selfishness, criticism, envy, unhappiness, etc., etc. Satan transmits to humanity that attitude of mind and heart which travels the way of sin. Satan does not need help in transmitting attitudes of selfishness, envy, lust, unhappiness etc. He can spiritually transmit these attitudes directly at us – and he does!
Thanks Nicki for making our jobs more difficult!
by Clarence E. Stowers | Feb 8, 2012 | regular
In Part 1, I shared my experiences regarding change and transition. If you missed it, you can read it HERE.
In 2011 we experienced many exciting changes at Mars Hill Baptist Church. Regardless of how exciting the vision of the building was, we know now that in the process, we left some people behind.
In Part 1, we learned how BUILDINGS HOUSE MEMORIES – DON’T ERASE THEIR SIGNIFICANCE.
Here’s SECOND humbling lesson learned:
CHANGE HAPPENS QUICKLY BUT TRANSITION OFTEN FOLLOWS MORE SLOWLY
We also assumed that most people would be able to accept the changes as easily as we did. We were only looking ahead of us. We were not looking around. What we did not realize is that while change happens instantly, transition follows more slowly.
Different personalities adapt to change in different ways, and in their own time. For most people, change is difficult. For others change is downright scary. As leaders, we should have invested additional time in building individual relationships. This may help people understand and accept the transition.
To go back to the lake fishing example mentioned in Part 1: If the leaders had stayed on the shore instead of going ahead in their boat, they could have helped and encouraged those that were uncertain about going fishing. Sometimes there is more serving involved in leadership than leading.
What are your thoughts regarding change and transition?
Which do you find most difficult?
by Clarence E. Stowers | Feb 6, 2012 | regular
I’ll admit, as a leader it’s quite easy to get caught up with a vision. It’s natural because as leader’s we’re encouraged to look out for opportunities and then take the lead in making things happen. But sometimes we find ourselves alone out front, and wonder what happened to the people we’re leading? Why aren’t they with us?
GOING FISHING – WHO’S IN?
Take a scenario of a group of people going fishing on a lake. Typical leaders get the vision, jump in the boat, and are off to fish. However, the rest of the group may take a different approach. As the leaders look back, they find that half the people are still on the river bank.
Some are still prepping their fishing gear. Some are just starting to launch their boats. Others are on the water but are heading in the opposite direction. Some are going in circles and still others haven’t yet even decided if they feel like fishing after all. That’s when you realize that only leading from the front doesn’t always help facilitate the transition.
John Maxwell in his book “Winning With People” admits that patience is not one his strengths. He says: “When I was younger I constantly cast vision for the people in my organization and then left them behind – not a good thing for a leader.”
In 2011 we experienced many exciting changes at Mars Hill Baptist Church. Regardless of how exciting the vision of the building was, we know now that in the process, we left some people behind. There were parts of the process where as leaders we simply dropped the ball.
Mars Hill Baptist Church – Before
Here’s FIRST humbling lesson learned:
BUILDINGS HOUSE MEMORIES – DON’T ERASE THEIR SIGNIFICANCE
Mars Hill has been part of the community for more than 35 years. Families have celebrated many memorable weddings. Parents have introduced their children to the church and sat Sunday after Sunday in the pews together. Others have said goodbye to loved ones and those last few words in that place were significant.
Mars Hill Baptist Church – After
Today, this happens in a place that looks totally different. Walking through the front door no longer triggers those memories. Memories hold significance and give people a sense of belonging. When everything looks so different it’s easy to understand how the memories won’t seem quite as real and people feel left out. As leaders we dropped the ball because we didn’t take the time to understand the significance of these memories, and that for some, made the transition more difficult.
by Clarence E. Stowers | Feb 3, 2012 | regular
NEW SERIES: RESET
Sunday, February 5, 2012 (8am or 10:30am)
Mars Hill Baptist Church
2012. It’s a new year filled with new and hopeful opportunity!
Yet for many…it will be another year of feeling stuck. Stuck in unhealthy relationships, dead-end careers, faulty finances, and a life filled with frustration.
Reset. Sometimes you just need a fresh start.
Reset is all about fresh starts and APPLYING our second chances. It’s about opening ourselves to new and better ways of thinking, dreaming, and loving others, ourselves, and God.
This series will transform your life for the better, bringing you guaranteed financial results. But it will do more than that, it will change every area of your life: marriage, family health and relationships.
Why? When God changes your heart from selfishness to generosity, every part of your life-journey is affected. If all believers followed the practical guidance of God’s Word, every church could be built, every nation would have an abundance of missionaries – and all would reap the benefits of having a generous heart.
With humor, passion and clarity, it’s my goal to share the keys to living a blessed life both financially and spiritually.
Start well & finish well by joining us at Mars Hill for a new practical, yet hard-hitting series that will challenge us in some of the most important areas of our lives.
Join us & bring a friend on Sunday, February 5, 2012 (8am or 10:30am).
by Clarence E. Stowers | Feb 1, 2012 | regular
Los Angeles police say ‘Soul Train’ host Don Cornelius dies of self-inflicted gunshot wound. Officers responding to a report of a shooting found Cornelius at his Mulholland Drive home at around 4 a.m., police said. According to the Associated Press, “He was pronounced dead at Cedars-Sinai Medical Center.”
Photo credit: AP | FILE – In a Sunday, June 28, 2009 file photo, Don Cornelius is seen at the 9th Annual BET Awards, in Los Angeles.
Facebook, Twitter, and the news feeds are all talking about Don Cornelius’ suicide. Furthermore, Christians are talking about his death & wondering if he’s in Heaven or Hell. As a pastor, I’m compelled to share a Christian’s view to suicide.
The Bible mentions six specific people who committed suicide: Abimelech (Judges 9:54), Saul (1 Samuel 31:4), Saul’s armor-bearer (1 Samuel 31:4-6), Ahithophel (2 Samuel 17:23), Zimri (1 Kings 16:18), and Judas (Matthew 27:5). Five of them were wicked, sinful men (not enough is said regarding Saul’s armor-bearer to make a judgment as to his character).
However, some consider Samson an instance of suicide (Judges 16:26-31), but Samson’s goal was to kill the Philistines, not himself. The Bible views suicide as equal to murder, which is what it is’self-murder. God is the only one who is to decide when and how a person should die.
According to the Bible, suicide is not what determines whether a person gains entrance into heaven. If an unsaved person commits suicide, he has done nothing but “expedite” his journey to hell. However, that person who committed suicide will ultimately be in hell for rejecting salvation through Christ, not because he committed suicide.
What does the Bible say about a Christian who commits suicide? The Bible teaches that from the moment we truly believe in Christ, we are guaranteed eternal life (John 3:16). According to the Bible, Christians can know beyond any doubt that they possess eternal life (1 John 5:13). Nothing can separate a Christian from God’s love (Romans 8:38-39). If no “created thing” can separate a Christian from God’s love, and even a Christian who commits suicide is a “created thing,” then not even suicide can separate a Christian from God’s love. Jesus died for all of our sins, and if a true Christian, in a time of spiritual attack and weakness, commits suicide, that would still be a sin covered by the blood of Christ.
Suicide is still a serious sin against God. According to the Bible, suicide is murder; it is always wrong. Serious doubts should be raised about the genuineness of faith of anyone who claimed to be a Christian yet committed suicide. There is no circumstance that can justify someone, especially a Christian, taking his/her own life. Christians are called to live their lives for God, and the decision on when to die is God’s and God’s alone. Although it is not describing suicide, 1 Corinthians 3:15 is probably a good description of what happens to a Christian who commits suicide: “He himself will be saved, but only as one escaping through the flames.”
What do you think? What’s your view of suicide?
