by Clarence E. Stowers | Oct 14, 2008 | Christianity, Church Issues, Communication
One of the lessons I’ve learned while being in the ministry for the
past 16 years is sometimes what people say isn’t exactly true…things
such as…
WARNING…
(you will probably only like this post if you are a pastor or a staff member of a church!)
What They Say: “I’m looking for a church that preaches the Word!”
What They Mean: “I’m looking for a church that
preaches MY view of the Word. I think the King James Version translation should be
used…I think BLANK should be talked about a lot while BLANK should be
ignored. And if you ever stop preaching my view of the Word I will
leave and tell others that you don’t preach the Word!”
What They Say: “Lot’s of people have been coming to me and saying they don’t like is…”
What They Mean: “I basically only have three
friends…and all of them think exactly like me. The other night we were
enjoying a time of self righteousness because, after all, we are right
about everything…and were also slandering you (in the form of prayer
requests) and thought it would be wise to approach you with our pet
peeve. We’ve actually talked to no one else about this but said “lots”
because we wanted to validate our dysfunction.”
What They Say: “I’m leaving the church.”
What They Mean: “Beg me to stay. If you will just
ask me I will share with you several ways you can compromise God’s
vision that He’s given you, thus becoming nothing more than a people
pleasing pastor who is more interested in popularity than obedience.
If you don’t bow to my demands I will remind you that I tithe and that
the church needs my money, reducing you to an ineffective preacher…one
who is paid for a service for the pleasure of another person.”
What They Say: “I want a church that is more focused on discipleship.”
What They Mean: “I want a church where everyone
knows me and how important I am! I don’t want to reach people who are
different from me, be it economic class or race or even musical
preference. I already know WAY more than I do…but I somehow equate
spirituality with knowledge rather than application and I rather enjoy
feeling intellectually superior to those who don’t know as much as me.”
What They Say: “Don’t take this personally…but…”
What They Mean: “I am about to lower the BOOM on
you…but you can’t get angry because I told you not to take it
personally. Even though you have dedicated your life to this and
pretty much invest every ounce of energy you have to this cause…and I
think about it once or twice a week…you need to receive my attacks,
even when they are personal…and you cannot retaliate because, remember,
it’s not personal.”
OKAY, that was fun! I typed it all with a smile. Trust me…I’m not
mad or frustrated with anyone…I just thought a pastor or two MIGHT get
a smile out of this. 🙂
by Clarence E. Stowers | Oct 8, 2008 | Communication, Relationships
Today’s women have achieved more than their great grandmothers could have ever imagined. Women are in politics, women are in space; women are excelling in every career imaginable. Women today are strong & independent.
Despite the females social evolution, however, you may be surprised to learn that women actually still enjoy being treated like women, and they still appreciate a little chivalry now and then.
HERE'S MY "TOP 5" OF WHAT "MY" WOMAN WANTS FROM ME
SHE LOVES IT WHEN I KISS HER FOR NO REASON WHILE HOLDING HER HAND
My woman "still" enjoys a nice, deep kiss that doesn’t have any strings attached. This serves two purposes: It lets her indulge in kissing for the sheer pleasure of it, and it also tells her I want her, and not just sex. Sometimes she needs a different type of connection.
HERE'S A TIP:
Try a surprise kiss for no reason at all; she’ll love you for it. Combine this with a little hand-holding and she’ll be smiling for days.
SHE LOVES IT WHEN I DANCE WITH HER
Simply put, dancing with a woman makes her feel special. Unfortunately, most men are reluctant to put their dancing shoes on, especially in a public setting. Guess what? While she’d probably welcome the idea, you don’t need to visit a nightclub to dance with your woman. She’ll be just as thrilled if you slipped a little Marvin Gaye on and danced with her in the living room. This would actually be to your advantage, as you have total control over the music.
SHE LOVES IT WHEN I DRESS UP FOR HER
Dressing up to take your woman out is an excellent way to impress her. It’s not about the clothes; it’s about the fact that you find her worth dressing up for. It lets her know that you think she’s worth that kind of effort. You may feel overdressed, but your hotness factor will have magnified exponentially. It’s true what they say: Women really do love a sharp-dressed man.
SHE LOVES IT WHEN I REMEMBER RANDOM MILESTONES
As a rule, birthdays and anniversaries should always be remembered; forgetting something of this magnitude will send the message that I don’t find her terribly important. After all, she memorized mine early on in the relationship, so if hers goes unnoticed, she’ll be utterly heartbroken.
To truly impress her, I aim to remember the insignificant dates, as well as the big ones. The first time I told her you loved her, the first time we kissed, the first place we vacationed together, what she was wearing the first time we met — any one of these turns her to jelly and score me more bonus points.
SHE LOVES IT WHEN WE DO ACTIVITIES TOGETHER
I've learned what women want from men is to spend time with their man outside of the bedroom. They want to experience life with their man, and this is one of the best ways to develop a three-dimensional relationship.
Join her in activities both of you can enjoy. If neither of you are the sporty type, try something else that you already excel at. When I taught my wife how to hold a pool stick & shoot pool – she loved the personalized attention.
Anyone like to comment or add to my list?
by Clarence E. Stowers | Oct 6, 2008 | Bible Journey, Christian, Christianity, Religion
WELCOME!
Dynamic, Authentic, Life-changing… this is the sort of thing I'm striving for with our online Cyber small groups.
It is my prayer that it becomes a place to connect and
develop meaningful and lasting relationships. It's life-on-life
interaction that should serve to strengthen your relationship with God
and everyone else around you as well.
Furthermore, I envision "Cyber Groups" to be a connection point at the Mars Hill Baptist Church. It is my prayer that you will experience the merge of Shared Passion, Shared
Purpose and Shared Lives.
Finally, It is our hope that everyone who comes to our online community will have the
opportunity to benefit from being a part of this experience.
LET'S GET STARTED!
<CLICK HERE> to review Sunday's message notes and download the discussion questions <HERE>. After you review the questions, please post your comments for all to hear!
Let's begin the discussion…
by Clarence E. Stowers | Oct 3, 2008 | Christian, Christianity, Money and Finance, Preaching, Worship
I was inspired to preach this series after hearing Andy Stanley, Senior Pastor of Northpoint Church in Alpharetta, GA. I got permission to modify, contextualize, & share it with my Mars Hill family.
In this day and age, most people are striving for more…a better job, a larger house, a flashier car, and the list goes on. However, the recent economic downturn has temporarily placed the chase on hold.
There is more to life than chasing that elusive carrot
that dangles so temptingly in front of you.
Even in the midst of an economic downturn you will discover how to be truly rich, with what you already have. Join us this Sunday @ 8AM or 10:30AM to learn "How To Be Rich." This series IS NOT about how to "GET" rich…It's all about how to "BE" rich.
As the series unfolds, I will post a link to my teaching notes online along w/discussion questions for all who want to engage in dialog. If you're interested, shoot me an email so I'll know who's participating. It's sorta like a "cyber small group" discussion. I firmly believe we grow stronger together.
Have a great weekend!
by Clarence E. Stowers | Oct 2, 2008 | Christian, Christianity, Church Issues, Empowerment, Leadership
THROUGH IT ALL…LEADERSHIP IS REWARDING!
As I shared over the past few weeks, at Mars Hill, we have been trying to get our minds and hearts around some of the data that points to unmet expectations. What do you do when not as many people are inviting their friends…not as many are growing in Christ…not as many are tithing…not as many are reading their Bible…not as many are attending…and not as many are being baptized?
These questions are very real for us right now, and over the next few days I will share some of the stages of unmet expectations I have recently experienced…
WHEN WE EXPERIENCE UNMET EXPECTATIONS, WE REASSESS, REGROUP, & START LEADING AGAIN
At some point, we MUST decide to lead. We stop blaming, questioning, justifying or redefining–and we hunker down and lead through the crisis. We figure out what is wrong and we get on our faces before God, and we begin to fix it. We face the really tough data and talk about the facts of our situation which might be embarrasing or self-condemning. We acknowledge where we are wrong and we get risky and determine to try some stuff to get back on track. We stick our necks out and cancel some stuff that has perceived success, and add some stuff that has no historical track record. We work through the feeling of failure, the muddy conversations and awkward staff meetings. We don't jump ship because the waters are suddenly rocky. No, instead we rally the troops, and we do what leaders do in times of crisis…we lead.
Anyone else identify with any of these stages of unmet expectations?
