by Clarence E. Stowers | Dec 14, 2011 | regular
I often hear pastors and church leaders say: “Leading a church would be great if it weren’t for church people.” That may or may not be true, but, there is no such thing as leadership void of people. The challenge most church leaders face is that we’re pulled in so many directions by so many people and since we’re human, we’re bound to disappoint someone.
Here’s a truth that will keep you sane as a spiritual leader:
We have responsibility to people,
not for people.
Mark Waltz, in his book Lasting Impressions, does a nice job describing the difference:
- When I’m responsible to people, I understand they have a choice. When I’m responsible for people, I think I should decide for them.
- When I’m responsible to people, I know they must figure out their next step. When I’m responsible for people, I try to tell them what their next step is.
- When I’m responsible to people, I allow them to bear the brunt of the consequences for their own chosen actions. When I’m responsible for people, I assume the guilt, or worse the shame, for them.
- When I’m responsible to people, I engage in their journey, offering encouragement and teaching. When I’m responsible for people I try to direct their journey, never allowing them to wrestle, mess up or make a wrong turn.
- When I’m responsible to people, I talk to God on their behalf. When I’m responsible for people, I talk to people a lot on God’s behalf.
One of the most basic boundaries we can maintain is our skin. I am responsible for everything inside my skin. You are responsible for everything inside your skin. It is a fundamental demarcation between “me” and “you.” Sometimes pastors feel like they have to have all the answers, solve all the problems and make everything right…for everyone. If you fall into this category, my heart goes out to you today. It is a very frustrating thing to feel responsible for the thoughts and actions of other people. It is quite liberating to know that I only have a responsibility to other people – to love them, to be honest with them, to be a friend and support. What’s going on inside them is “all theirs.”
by Clarence E. Stowers | Dec 13, 2011 | regular
The iPhone 4S (my preferred device) and a host of other smartphones all promise to help us accomplish more. Unfortunately, we live in an age where we’re encouraged to purchase gadgets that allow us to do many things at the same time.
It’s called multitasking and, in my opinion, it’s overrated and may be the greatest leadership lie ever told! That’s right, I said it!
Multitasking is the ability of a person to perform more than one task at the same time.
When you’re going back and forth between complicated projects, it is impossible to focus properly on each one. “Researches call this task switching, an action, that, itself, requires time and energy. Depending on how many tasks you’re juggling, you could be losing 20 to 40 percent of your time, because you have to reengage your focus and thoughts.” (“Executive Control of Cognitive Processes in Task Switching,” Joshua S. Rubinstein, U.S. Federal Aviation Administration, Atlantic City, NJ; Journal of Experimental Psychology – Human Perception and Performance, Vol. 27, No. 4).
I’ve discovered both life and ministry require a certain amount of juggling. Few days play out in an orderly, linear sequence. Speaking on the phone to a member, client, or colleague while you’re reading a report or typing an e-mail might not cost you that much. But, doing so while you’re preparing a report or message might. At the very least, it will slow you down and result in sub par work. To increase your focus and performance when concentration is critical, cut down on multitasking.
A few suggestions:
- Turn off your e-mail alarm (who needs to be alerted to spam or useless facebook updates). Check it regularly when it’s convenient for you – not when it interrupts you.
- Block out time for projects that require intense focus such as sermon preparation, budget forecasting, vision/planning, writing, drafting a presentation, or conducting analysis.
- Forward your calls to voice mail and close your door if necessary. Let people know that you’re working on a project. If you don’t have a door, put up a sign.
- When possible, schedule important phone conversations when you know you’ll have no distractions.
- Never work on something else while you’re on the phone. The person on the other end knows when you’re writing an email while you talk, and it’s probably irritating him or her.
Organize your work so that you can do ONE THING at a time and do it well. The payoff will be substantial!
by Clarence E. Stowers | Dec 12, 2011 | regular
Golf is an EXPENSIVE sport! Honestly, I’m not the greatest fan of golf. I only like a few aspects of the game and lugging a heavy bag of clubs around a lawn looking for a tiny ball and hole to put it in all day isn’t one of them. Honestly, the best parts of the game are driving the ball, putting and driving around in the golf cart.
All three of these skills can better be implemented in any reputable driving range/putt-putt/go-cart facility without having to walk around aimlessly all afternoon (Here’s a million-dollar idea – anyone want to partner with me on this). If you want to master golf, there’s a steep price you must pay mentally, physically, and financially. The same could be said for those who aspire to be great leaders.
Can you drink of the cup that I drink of… (Mark 10:38)
No one should aspire to lead God’s work if they are not prepared to pay a price greater than his contemporaries and colleagues are willing to pay. True leadership always exacts a heavy toll on the leader and the more effective their leadership is, the higher the price to be paid. The cost of every great achievement is not paid in a lump. It is bought on a payment plan, with installments paid daily.
Greatest Installment: Loneliness
From its very nature, the lot of the leader must be a lonely one. They must always be ahead of their followers. Human nature craves company, and it is only natural to wish to share with others the heavy burdens of responsibility and care. It’s often heartbreaking to have to make important decisions, which affect the lives of others alone. This is one of the heaviest prices to pay, but it must be paid.
Moses paid this price for his leadership – alone on the mountain…alone in the plain…alone when criticized. The socially conscious Apostle Paul (He would’ve loved Facebook & Twitter) was a lonely man who experienced the bitterness of being misunderstood by his contemporaries, misrepresentation by his enemies, and desertion by his friends.
“Most of the world’s great souls have been lonely,” wrote A.W. Tozer. Leaders must be people who, while welcoming the friendship and support of all who can offer it, has sufficient inner resources to stand alone, even in the face of fierce opposition.
As a leader, how do you deal with loneliness?
by Clarence E. Stowers | Dec 9, 2011 | Book Reviews, Books
Imagine your life, wholly untouched by angst. What if faith, not fear, was your default reaction to threats? If you could hover a fear magnet over your heart and extract every last shaving of dread, insecurity, or doubt, what would remain? Envision a day, just one day, where you could trust more and fear less.
Can you imagine your life without fear?
Review
This was a very easy, quick read and I enjoyed it. I think it’s a topic that is very relevant in today’s world, there just seems to be an endless amount of things to fear nowadays. I like the message by the author that with faith, anything is possible. With faith, you have an endless amount of support and can live without fear. Pretty powerful stuff! I think we need more reading material like this, more positive messages like this and reminders how strong a tool faith really is. I thought this was an inspirational read and would recommend it to anyone who’s feeling they’ve kind of lost their footing a bit.
About the Author
In almost 25 years of writing, Max Lucado’s books have been sold 65 million times. He is the only author to have won three Christian Book of the Year awards. In 2005, Reader’s Digest magazine dubbed him “America’s Best Preacher” and in 2004, Christianity Today magazine called him “America’s Pastor.” His works have appeared on every major national bestseller list including Publishers Weekly, USA Today, The New York Times, Evangelical Christian Publishers Association, and Christian Booksellers Association. He has been featured in countless media outlets and national broadcasts.
Thanks to Thomas Nelson for a copy of Fearless and a chance to review this book. Please note that I was not compensated for this review.
by Clarence E. Stowers | Dec 9, 2011 | regular
For better or worse, leaders put themselves out there, on display, for the entire world to see. Whether you’re a pastor, ministry leader, business owner, entrepreneur, supervisor, or hold no titles, at some point in your professional career, you’re going to be criticized.
Recently, God’s overwhelming presence cut into my sermon time and I didn’t preach a full message. Boy, did the critics come out. They criticized me for using the Holy Spirit’s visitation for not wanting to preach. OUCH!
Criticism, even to the most seasoned professionals, is still a difficult pill to swallow and one that doesn’t go down easily or sit well with many of us. When someone publicly (or privately) criticizes you, take a deep breath and follow these guidelines:
- Ask: Is this constructive or destructive criticism? Constructive criticism is probably based, at least in part, on some truths. Through constructive criticism we have the opportunity to learn and improve from their suggestions. On the other hand, destructive criticism is down right nasty, hurtful, and offensive. Cowards usually prefer this method and you’ll immediately know the difference between the two.
- Don’t Take It Personally. One of the first things that seems to always happen upon receiving criticism is that the person to whom the criticism is directed takes it as a personal attack. Granted, there are some people out there who take pleasure in bringing people down. However, there is a distinction between constructive criticism and vicious condemnation. Learn to decipher the distinction and the first step to do that is to not take what is said personally. Easier said than done, I know…but it’s essential.
- Keep The Vision Before You At All Times. Criticism directed at you can easily break your momentum. An hour ago you were confident and in full pursuit of your vision. Suddenly, you’re filled with doubt. As a leader, you already realize how important it is to ride the wave. Don’t let an anonymous coward (most who criticize rarely do it to your face) break your stride and distract you from your vision. Like an army ant, keep moving forward!
- Just Walk Away. When you get called out for making a mistake or are challenged, it might be your instinct to stand up for yourself and come out swinging. It’s important not to react right away. Fight the urge to respond. Go for a short walk, grab a cup of coffee or move on to another project. Keep in mind that if you are nasty or condescending in your response, you can expect others to do likewise. This can lead to a war of words that benefits no one.
- Keep Smiling. Haters hate. That’s who they are and were created to do. Smiling, even a false smile, can helps us to relax more. It creates a more positive vibration and smoothes the situation. It will definitely help psychologically. Smiling will motivate the other person to moderate their approach.
Question: How do you handle critics? What would you like to add?
