by Clarence E. Stowers | Mar 12, 2015 | Accountability, Empowerment, Encouragement, Goals, Motivation, Self-Leadership
As a father, one of the most important things I have learned is that life is not fair.
Life does not always deliver equal portions to everyone. When my sons were younger, I remember trying to split a Baby Ruth candy bar in equal parts. Joshua, my youngest, began protesting because, in his opinion, his older brother had more peanuts. The first thing that came out of his mouth: “NOT FAIR! He has more peanuts than I do.”
That is exactly how life is. It is not divided into equal portions and that is when we scream: “Life is not fair!” Sometimes our portion of life does not seem right. Consequently, we are disappointed, angry, and if we are not careful, we become bitter. Bitterness is often a by-product of finding yourself stressed to your breaking point. All of us can recall moments of unfairness. We find ourselves saying “this should not be happening to me.”
The fact is, you are going to experience pain in life through circumstances, from other people, sometimes intentionally, and sometimes unintentionally. You cannot keep yourself from painful moments. Although you cannot control your circumstances, you can control your response, your reaction, and how you choose to react to a particular circumstance or person that has hurt you. How do you respond when life is not fair?
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by Clarence E. Stowers | Jan 26, 2015 | Accountability, Christian, Christianity, Decisions, Empowerment, Leadership
Self-confidence is one of today’s most popular subjects. Conferences, seminars, workshops, and best selling authors tell us that the key to success is to be self-confident. Consequently, we’re encouraged to live boldly, think big, and craft BHAG’s (Big Hairy Audacious Goals).
Confident people inspire confidence in others: their audience, their peers, their bosses, their customers, and their friends. And gaining the confidence of others is one of the key ways in which a self-confident person finds success. Having self-confidence is even finding its way into church life. How so? (more…)
by Clarence E. Stowers | Mar 18, 2014 | Accountability, Decisions, Empowerment, Encouragement, Self-Leadership
We all experience some despair when setbacks occur. That’s quite normal.
It is one thing to rejoice, give thanks and praise when things go right. But it’s not as easy when things go wrong. A couple of weeks ago, I shared how emotions can paralyze you and keep you from moving towards recovery.
Photo credit: Psychiatric News Alert
It’s important to take time to reflect, even grieve so that you can move on. The important thing is that taking the time to deal with your emotions is the first step. The problem is that too often people get stuck in that emotional state. Instead of merely reflecting and then moving on they get stuck there. You can read Part 1 HERE.
What most people don’t realize is that rejoicing is a very deliberate step on the road to recovery from setbacks. “What’s there to rejoice about?” you grumble. If you think about it there’s lots to be grateful for. (more…)
by Clarence E. Stowers | Mar 4, 2014 | Accountability, Decisions, Empowerment, Encouragement, Goals, Motivation, Self-Leadership, Success
It is not easy to accept that things haven’t worked out as planned.
So how do you deal with it? To start, it’s okay to take some time to deal with the disappointment. Whether we like to admit it or not we are all emotional beings. We all experience some despair when setbacks occur. That’s quite normal.
Take some time to reflect, even grieve so that you can move on. The important thing is that taking the time to deal with your emotions is the first step. And step implies that you are moving forward, not staying where you are.
The problem is that too often people get stuck in that emotional state. Instead of merely reflecting and then moving on they get stuck there. They stew over the fact that things haven’t worked out. They focus on what hasn’t happened, what has been lost instead of trying to move forward. When you get stuck here that’s when bitterness sets in. Bitterness is easy. It doesn’t require thought, movement or progress. It just requires you to sit and stew. (more…)
by Clarence E. Stowers | Jan 8, 2013 | Accountability, Decisions, Empowerment, Goals
Quick! What do the following statements have in common?
- “Spare the rod, spoil the child”
- “This too shall pass”
- “God helps those who help themselves”
Give up? They cannot be found anywhere in the Bible. If you don’t believe me, go ahead and find the verse that corresponds to the aforementioned statements. Trust me, you can’t.
God Helps Those Who Help Themselves…Really?
Although it sounds great, it’s not in the Bible. No matter how good it sounds, if we demonstrate some effort to improve, God will give us a little push in that direction. So we decide to make it by sheer willpower and discipline. The problem is, we run out of steam.
This year, millions will make and break resolutions because they’re trying to solve a spiritual problem through earthly means. The challenge we all face is that we want to be transformed. However, we tend to look within ourselves for the solution. The solution resides outside of ourselves. The solution is God.
Transformation is a problem that we cannot solve. That’s why God sent Jesus! Apart from him, we can do absolutely nothing! In Galatians 3:3, Paul reminds the Galatians that God has given them His Spirit and with this – combined with their faith, they can make it.
Who Does God Help?
God doesn’t help those with themselves. God helps those who abide with Him and those who walk with Him in faith (John 15:1-5). Our efforts were never the impetus for God’s transforming grace. Nor will they be the impetus for our changed hearts.
The Bible says that we are justified by faith. We don’t need willpower or self-effort as much as we need faith that God will accomplish in us and for us what we can’t do ourselves. He is the source of what we long for and need. Willpower and self-effort can only take us so far in our desire to change.
What’s The Point?
Change is Possible
Focus is Required
Dependence on God is Absolutely Foundational
by Clarence E. Stowers | Dec 11, 2012 | Accountability, Decisions, Leadership, Self-Leadership, Servant Leadership
Sacrifice is being willing to give up something good for something better. Life is full of boundless possibilities, but in order to transform a possibility into a reality we have to choose — sacrificing the many in order to attain the one. My previous posts suggests, as a leader you sacrifice your time and energy. In case you missed it, you can read it HERE and HERE.
Nothing is gained without something relinquished.
Sacrifice has meaning only in the context of a goal, dream or mission. In pursuing these, we often face obstacles which require us to forfeit physical or emotional comfort in the service of something that matters more. Often, the greater the dream or vision, the greater the shared sacrifice required to attain it. Sacrifice is easier when we stay focused on what we are choosing rather than what we are giving up. In addition to sacrificing time and energy, As a Leader you sacrifice your Ego (more…)
