As a father, one of the most important things I have learned is that life is not fair.
Life does not always deliver equal portions to everyone. When my sons were younger, I remember trying to split a Baby Ruth candy bar in equal parts. Joshua, my youngest, began protesting because, in his opinion, his older brother had more peanuts. The first thing that came out of his mouth: “NOT FAIR! He has more peanuts than I do.”
That is exactly how life is. It is not divided into equal portions and that is when we scream: “Life is not fair!” Sometimes our portion of life does not seem right. Consequently, we are disappointed, angry, and if we are not careful, we become bitter. Bitterness is often a by-product of finding yourself stressed to your breaking point. All of us can recall moments of unfairness. We find ourselves saying “this should not be happening to me.”
The fact is, you are going to experience pain in life through circumstances, from other people, sometimes intentionally, and sometimes unintentionally. You cannot keep yourself from painful moments. Although you cannot control your circumstances, you can control your response, your reaction, and how you choose to react to a particular circumstance or person that has hurt you. How do you respond when life is not fair?
Refuse to Become Bitter
At some point you have to ask yourself, “Am I going to allow my circumstances to make me bitter or happy?” Which will you choose, because you cannot choose them both. I would hope that you would choose to be happy, rather than being bitter. Choosing to be happy allows you to be free, while holding onto hurt, grudges, and resentment will lead you to bitterness.
You Can Have Everything and Still Be Unhappy
We all know someone who appears to have it all on the outside, but yet are unhappy. Obviously, it is not a matter of circumstances. Happiness is a choice. I know many people who have gone through many devastating crises, yet in spite of all that, they have maintained a happy heart, a cheerful spirit, a smile, a good attitude, and a positive outlook on life in spite of their pain.
Scripture tells us that bitterness is far more devastating to your life than stress is. In the long haul, bitterness will hurt you more than the actual problem that you are going through. Hebrews 12:15 says:
Watch out that no bitterness takes root among you. It causes deep trouble, hurting many in their spiritual lives.
Bitterness Never Changes Anything
When you start complaining how life is unfair, remember it will not change your past, I suggest you do the following:
- Instead of being bitter, learn to accept the things in your life that you cannot change and never will be able to change.
- Start focusing on the things that you can change and work on those things. Bitterness does not do you any good.
- Practice Gratitude. It is the antidote to bitterness. Studies have shown that gratitude is the healthiest emotion that you can possibly have. You need to find something that you can be thankful for even in the darkest days.
Remember, you can always find something to thank God for, even in your darkest days. Remember, when life is not fair, you can complain and become bitter or change your perspective and become better. The choice is yours!
