by Clarence E. Stowers | Jul 15, 2015 | Christian, Christianity, Decisions, Empowerment, Leadership, Self-Leadership, Success, Vision
Rejection is powerful.
When I counsel people, sometimes I hear them say, “I don’t care if people like me, as long as they respect me.” When they say that, it’s an “emotional wall they use to block the hurt of rejection,” according to psychologist Marcia Reynolds.
God created us to be social, and if we’re honest, all of us care if people like us. “The feeling of love, affection, and belonging is necessary before we can reach the highest levels of consciousness and wisdom,” according to psychologist Abraham Maslow. Maslow is saying we all need people to survive. So, how do keep from withdrawing when dealing with someone who doesn’t like you?
Fortunately, you’re not the only one who’s had to deal with this problem. After Nathan had anointed David as the future King of Israel, Saul became his bitter enemy. Like David, all of us, at one time or another deal with people we don’t like and who don’t like us. Perhaps you have people who want to do you harm and see you fail. This is where David found himself in 1 Samuel Chapter 24. (more…)
by Clarence E. Stowers | Jul 1, 2015 | Decisions, Empowerment, Self-Leadership, Success
Until recently, I’ve never heard of the shiny object syndrome.
It’s the “syndrome” that causes one to be easily distracted by “shiny objects” and lose focus on the tasks at hand. You see it with parents overcommitting their kids. You see it in entrepreneurs starting several businesses at the same time. You see it in churches dabbling in everything except the main thing.
Are you interested, or are you committed?
How do you know the difference?
Why does it matter?
Interest vs. Commitment
I heard a story one time that discussed the difference between commitment and interest. Two guys independently created an objective to swim a mile. The first man calculated how many laps he would need to swim in the community pool to complete the distance goal and proceeded to attempt the objective.
The second guy had a friend drive him out in the ocean 1 mile, drop him off and leave him to swim back to shore. For the first guy, it was a matter of convenience, if he became tired, he could simply get out of the pool. For the second guy, there was not an option to simply get out. He would have to push through the fatigue, sore muscles, to achieve his objective. That is the difference between commitment and interest. (more…)
by Clarence E. Stowers | Jun 10, 2015 | Decisions, Empowerment, Encouragement, Self-Leadership
Recently I took up photography as a hobby and realized how much I love it.
Photography relaxes me and takes away stress. While taking pictures during my children’s graduation ceremonies and sporting events, I ran out of storage space. I couldn’t take more pictures because the SD card was full.
An SD card (Secure Digital) is a digital storage device used in portable devices such as digital cameras and cell phones because of its small size and light weight. Since videos and pictures require a lot of space, an SD card can fill up quickly. If you want to add additional footage, you have to transfer old footage to another storage device.
Your brain is like an SD card with unlimited storage space.
Our Brains Are Like SD Cards With Unlimited Storage
Your brain is like an SD card with unlimited storage space. It has recorded every single experience your five senses have experienced – everything you’ve smelled, seen, heard, touched, and tasted. It records everything people say (both past and present). Your brain is an amazing storage device.
[shareable]Your brain is like an SD card with unlimited storage space.[/shareable] (more…)
by Clarence E. Stowers | Jun 4, 2015 | Decisions, Empowerment, Encouragement, Motivation, Self-Leadership
Recently, I ran across a startling statistic that blew me away.
When it comes to cruel and cutting remarks, 99 percent of the time they’re not from strangers; they’re from someone we know. Let that sink in. Their words are painful and memorable because they come from people who should be the source of love.
It’s hard to admit, but wherever a relationship exists, the possibility of someone getting wounded exists. How do you respond when the people you know hurt you? How do you stop the tears from flowing? You agree to release the grip resentment has on you.
You can’t hold onto a hurt and enjoy life. You can’t get well as long as you harbor resentment. For your sake, let go the right to get even. The fact is, you only have a certain amount of emotional energy, and you must determine how you spend it.
[shareable]You can’t hold onto a hurt and enjoy life.[/shareable] (more…)
by Clarence E. Stowers | May 27, 2015 | Accountability, Christian, Christianity, Decisions, Empowerment, Encouragement, Motivation, Self-Leadership, Success
Do you have a wound that won’t heal?
“A wound that has been present for more than six weeks is considered a chronic wound and may need special treatment,” according to Dr. Prasad Kilaru, a plastic surgeon and director of the Washington Center for Wound Healing and Hyperbaric Medicine.
Have you ever had a cut that required stitches? Have you ever had a surgery of any kind? Deep cuts and surgical procedures leave wounds that often require stitches. Eventually the stitches are removed and the pain goes away. What do you do about wounds you can’t see? How do you begin to stitch emotional wounds embedded deep within the recesses of one’s heart?
Hidden wounds are memories that hurt
Hidden Wounds are Memories That Hurt
Hidden wounds are the recollections from your past that when you think about them, they still cause pain in your life. Some define them as memories of abandonment. Some have memories of abuse. Some even have memories of ridicule, criticism or hatred.
Hidden wounds come from prejudices in society. They come from family members (they are the ones that hurt the most). Sometimes they come from parents, our children, our siblings, and aunts and uncles. You can get wounded in the work place. They’re everywhere.
I’ve been a pastor for a long time and I’ve talked to people and I’ve learned two truths about life.
- Everyone has a hidden wound. You may be masking it but everybody has a hidden wound. An emotional scar from someone in the past who hurt you in a serious way.
- Hidden Wounds (emotional scars) take longer to heal than physical wounds.
Are you ready for some good news? The good news is this: Jesus wants to heal your hidden wounds.
[shareable cite=”CE Stowers”]Hidden wounds are memories that hurt.[/shareable]
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by Clarence E. Stowers | May 6, 2015 | Empowerment, Encouragement, Leadership, Self-Leadership, Success
Someone once said, “time flies when your having fun.” I’d like to suggest that time flies whether you’re having fun or not. In fact, time never stops.
It seems that everyone’s busy these days. And life shows no sign of slowing down. There are an endless number of apps, books, planners, and software all designed to help us manage our time more effectively. Since life has no intention of slowing down, are your efforts effective? Or do you sometimes feel like you’re spinning your wheels?
“Time flies whether you’re having fun or not.” -CE Stowers
[shareable cite=”CE Stowers”]Time waits for no one. It flies whether you’re having fun or not.[/shareable]
Now more than ever, we seem to have more work than time to do it. Everyone has exactly the same number of hours and minutes every day. So since we can’t increase the amount of time we have, we need to learn how to control our use of it.
Here are my five favorite blog posts to help you grow in the area of time management.
Why You Can’t Seem to Manage Your Time – Brandon Cox
Time management. Of all the people I know who ever focus on this concept, only a small handful are confident that they’re doing it well.
Source: Why You Can’t Seem to Manage Your Time
Time Management System – Ron Edmondson
If you aren’t doing so already, I want to encourage you to plan your week for efficiency. Every Monday (or Sunday night if you prefer), as the first thing you do, consider the week ahead.
Source: Time Management System – Ron Edmondson
3 Essentials for Time Management – Artie Davis
As you grow as a leader, your time becomes the most valued gift you can invest in others.
Source: 3 Essentials for Time Management
Top 10 Ways Leaders Waste Time – Carey Nieuwhof
When was the last time you complained about not having enough to do and more than enough time to do it in? Exactly. Almost every leader I know struggles with finding the time to get it all done. I do too. So what helps? And what hurts?
Source: Top 10 Ways Leaders Waste Time (And 10 Time Hacks to Help You) – Carey Nieuwhof
14 Tips for Time Management – Chuck Lawless
I make no claim to an expert at time management. What I am is a seminary dean, education consultant, church consultant, and local church pastor who has been forced to learn how to budget time. Here are some time management tips that have worked for me:
Source: 14 Tips for Time Management – ThomRainer.com
[shareable cite=”CE Stowers”]Everyone has exactly the same number of hours and minutes every day.[/shareable]
Heartsill Wilson said,
God has given me this day to use as I will. I can waste it – or use it for good, but what I do today is important, because I am exchanging a day of my life for it!
When you open your eyes tomorrow morning, remind yourself that it holds incredible possibilities. You can allow that day to slip away from you, or you can use it to make things happen. The choice is yours.
What other time management techniques have worked for you?
