Self-confidence is one of today’s most popular subjects. Conferences, seminars, workshops, and best selling authors tell us that the key to success is to be self-confident. Consequently, we’re encouraged to live boldly, think big, and craft BHAG’s (Big Hairy Audacious Goals).
Confident people inspire confidence in others: their audience, their peers, their bosses, their customers, and their friends. And gaining the confidence of others is one of the key ways in which a self-confident person finds success. Having self-confidence is even finding its way into church life. How so? (more…)
Setbacks are disheartening. They can leave us feeling disempowered and discouraged. Mostly setbacks can leave us feeling as though we have no real control over our lives. Yet there are some people who are successful despite the challenges and setbacks they experience. What is their secret?
Setbacks Help You Gain Perspective
Successful people view setbacks different. The difference is that they have a different perspective on setbacks. While they realize that they can’t always control the world around them, they can control how they respond to circumstances. In other words, successful people use setbacks to gain perspective when they experience circumstances beyond their control. They see setbacks as an opportunity to REFOCUS and find an EVEN BETTER WAY to achieve their goals. Setbacks don’t stop them, they simply slow them down for a short period of time.
“If it is important to you, you will find a way. If not you’ll find an excuse.” – Unknown
[Tweet “Setbacks Help You Gain Perspective. @ClarenceStowers #success #KeepGrinding”] (more…)
The new year is here. Many made resolutions to do better and be better. You’ve written goals and shared them with your family and friends so they can hold you accountable, right? Wrong move!
Psychologist know when you tell someone your goals, and it is acknowledged by them, you are more unlikely to do the job to achieve your goals. Why? Your brain can’t tell the difference between talking and doing. When we talk about what we’re going to do (our goals), two things happen:
Gratification
Satisfaction
When we share our goals and others acknowledge them, gratification and satisfaction tricks your brain into feeling that the goal has already been accomplished. The satisfaction you experience in the telling removes the motivation to do anything it takes to actually make it occur. Keep working and keep your goals to yourself. It could spur you to work harder to meet them.
[Tweet “”When u tell someone ur goals, & it’s acknowledged by them, u are more unlikely to accomplish ur goals.””]
“After hitting on a brilliant new life plan, our first instinct is to tell someone” — but Derek Sivers says “it’s better to keep goals secret.” He presents research stretching as far back as the 1920s to show why people who talk about their ambitions may be less likely to achieve them. Check out his TED Talk and discover why keeping your mouth shut may actually help you accomplish your goals.
[Tweet “”People who talk about their ambitions may be less likely to achieve them.” ~Derek Sivers “]
Most people don’t take into account how many mistakes account for success. For some there is the idea that if you fail it’s the end: The end of the world, the end of the opportunity, the end to your chances for success. In reality the opposite is true. Mistakes are good for you because mistakes provide the biggest opportunity for growth, learning and development.
Why Mistakes Can Be Good for You
The only complete mistake is the mistake from which we learn nothing. Jacob Braude
Of all the great scientific breakthroughs, inventions or discoveries, not one of them achieved success on the first attempt. In fact when Thomas Edison was ridiculed for his more than 200 failed attempts to create a light bulb, his response was not full of self-pity or anger. Instead in his defense, he simply stated that he’d learned more than 200 ways of how not to do it. For Thomas Edison every mistake was a learning opportunity. How many of us could do the same?
There is a tendency when we make mistakes to get mad at ourselves. We tell ourselves that we should have known better, been more careful or thought it through more. But in reality we will never know it all. Making mistakes is simply part of living. The bible tells us that much: “For we know in part……but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears.” 1 Cor 13:9,10.
[Tweet “Mistakes remind us that life is not about cruising, they’re opporutnities to learn.”]
So if in this life it is a certain thing that we will never know it all, how can we expect to not make mistakes? Think about that for a minute. (more…)
The easiest thing to say is often the most complex thing to do.
No matter what you’re doing, there comes a time when you are going to want to take things up a notch. Many want to get to the next level but are clueless about what it takes. Again, the easiest thing to say is often the most complex thing to do.
Getting to the next level requires a plan, sacrifice, skill, mental toughness, & hard work. Getting to next level is not the only goal – staying there is the goal. Getting to the next and not staying there is like buying your dream home with no money left to furnish it. What do you have to do to take your game, your career, your product, or your life to the next level? Getting & staying on the next level hinges on knowing the answers to two questions:
Where do you want to go
How are you going to get there?
Like I said, The easiest thing to say is often the most complex thing to do.
We all experience some despair when setbacks occur. That’s quite normal.
It is one thing to rejoice, give thanks and praise when things go right. But it’s not as easy when things go wrong. A couple of weeks ago, I shared how emotions can paralyze you and keep you from moving towards recovery.
It’s important to take time to reflect, even grieve so that you can move on. The important thing is that taking the time to deal with your emotions is the first step. The problem is that too often people get stuck in that emotional state. Instead of merely reflecting and then moving on they get stuck there. You can read Part 1 HERE.
What most people don’t realize is that rejoicing is a very deliberate step on the road to recovery from setbacks. “What’s there to rejoice about?” you grumble. If you think about it there’s lots to be grateful for. (more…)
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Best regards,
Clarence E. Stowers, Jr.
