Simple aint Easy…

by Clarence E. Stowers | Mar 28, 2008 | Empowerment

After a long day at the office, sometimes I sit back and watch TV.  Recently, I found myself channel-surfing for about 15 minutes.  I was amazed at how many of the ads were about getting in shape.  Here are some of the exact phrases I heard:

"Six-second abs."

"Easy shaper."

"Incredible — a miracle!"

"It feels terrific! Let us show you how easy it is!"

"Quickly turn your flabby abs into that sexy six-pack!"

Where did we ever get the crazy idea that getting in shape is supposed to be quick and easy?  Why do we think that there will be almost no cost?  Why are we surprised when working out turns out to be arduous and healthy foods don’t really taste that good?

HERE’S THE PROBLEM:  WE OFTEN CONFUSE THE WORDS "SIMPLE" AND "EASY"

The changes I help people make are generally very simple.  However, they are never easy.  Just as with diet and exercise, changing behavior involves hard work.  It takes time.

Look in the mirror.  Not just at how you look but who you are.  If you want to be a better leader, a better professional, or just a better person — don’t kid yourself.  To achieve meaningful goals, you’ll have to pay the price.  There’s no product, no diet, no exercise program, and (I hate to admit it) no pastor who can make you better.  Only you can do it.  If your source of motivation doesn’t come from inside, you won’t stick with it.  This may not be infomercial material, but it’s great advice for any real achievement.

Let It (Or Them) Go

by Clarence E. Stowers | Mar 25, 2008 | Empowerment

As a pastor, my mission is to help people achieve positive change in behavior: for themselves, their family, and their teams.  Research shows that successful people have a strong need for self-determination. Simply put, this means, “I am doing, what I am doing because I choose to, not “I am doing what I am doing because I have to.”

People who are doing what they choose to do are committed professionals. They proactively apply their talents to make a greater contribution.  People who are doing what they have to do are compliant employees. They are putting in time for money.

How much of our lives have been wasted in trying to change the behavior of people who have no interest in changing?  What is our return on this investment? 

WARNING – THIS IS A CONTROVERSIAL STATEMENT…READ ON AT YOUR OWN RISK

In my work as pastor, I finally decided to only work with people who care and who are willing to try. You should do the same thing. It is hard to make people change what they don’t choose to change.

Have you ever tried to change the behavior of someone who had absolutely no interest in changing?  Have you ever tried to change the behavior of a spouse, partner or significant other who had no interest in changing? 

How much luck did you have there? After a few days (or maybe even a few minutes) you can tell if the person whom you are trying to coach is willing to try. If they are willing to try, do whatever you can to help them. If they are not willing to try, either “live with it” (let it go) or find someone else to do the job (let him or her go).

Think of it this way: The time we waste on the people who don’t care is time that is stolen from the people who do care.  My guess is that you have little time to waste. You are as busy today as you have ever been in your life. 

So, here’s a tip I won’t even charge you for:

Only invest your time where you are going to get a return on your investment. Don’t waste your time on a road to nowhere.

Experience has taught me that successful people are committed.  Normally this sense of commitment leads to even more success.  Committed people have a drive that comes from the inside, not from the outside. They don’t give up when times are tough. They try even harder.