by Clarence E. Stowers | Jul 15, 2015 | Christian, Christianity, Decisions, Empowerment, Leadership, Self-Leadership, Success, Vision
Rejection is powerful.
When I counsel people, sometimes I hear them say, “I don’t care if people like me, as long as they respect me.” When they say that, it’s an “emotional wall they use to block the hurt of rejection,” according to psychologist Marcia Reynolds.
God created us to be social, and if we’re honest, all of us care if people like us. “The feeling of love, affection, and belonging is necessary before we can reach the highest levels of consciousness and wisdom,” according to psychologist Abraham Maslow. Maslow is saying we all need people to survive. So, how do keep from withdrawing when dealing with someone who doesn’t like you?
Fortunately, you’re not the only one who’s had to deal with this problem. After Nathan had anointed David as the future King of Israel, Saul became his bitter enemy. Like David, all of us, at one time or another deal with people we don’t like and who don’t like us. Perhaps you have people who want to do you harm and see you fail. This is where David found himself in 1 Samuel Chapter 24. (more…)
by Clarence E. Stowers | Jul 1, 2015 | Decisions, Empowerment, Self-Leadership, Success
Until recently, I’ve never heard of the shiny object syndrome.
It’s the “syndrome” that causes one to be easily distracted by “shiny objects” and lose focus on the tasks at hand. You see it with parents overcommitting their kids. You see it in entrepreneurs starting several businesses at the same time. You see it in churches dabbling in everything except the main thing.
Are you interested, or are you committed?
How do you know the difference?
Why does it matter?
Interest vs. Commitment
I heard a story one time that discussed the difference between commitment and interest. Two guys independently created an objective to swim a mile. The first man calculated how many laps he would need to swim in the community pool to complete the distance goal and proceeded to attempt the objective.
The second guy had a friend drive him out in the ocean 1 mile, drop him off and leave him to swim back to shore. For the first guy, it was a matter of convenience, if he became tired, he could simply get out of the pool. For the second guy, there was not an option to simply get out. He would have to push through the fatigue, sore muscles, to achieve his objective. That is the difference between commitment and interest. (more…)
by Clarence E. Stowers | May 27, 2015 | Accountability, Christian, Christianity, Decisions, Empowerment, Encouragement, Motivation, Self-Leadership, Success
Do you have a wound that won’t heal?
“A wound that has been present for more than six weeks is considered a chronic wound and may need special treatment,” according to Dr. Prasad Kilaru, a plastic surgeon and director of the Washington Center for Wound Healing and Hyperbaric Medicine.
Have you ever had a cut that required stitches? Have you ever had a surgery of any kind? Deep cuts and surgical procedures leave wounds that often require stitches. Eventually the stitches are removed and the pain goes away. What do you do about wounds you can’t see? How do you begin to stitch emotional wounds embedded deep within the recesses of one’s heart?
Hidden wounds are memories that hurt
Hidden Wounds are Memories That Hurt
Hidden wounds are the recollections from your past that when you think about them, they still cause pain in your life. Some define them as memories of abandonment. Some have memories of abuse. Some even have memories of ridicule, criticism or hatred.
Hidden wounds come from prejudices in society. They come from family members (they are the ones that hurt the most). Sometimes they come from parents, our children, our siblings, and aunts and uncles. You can get wounded in the work place. They’re everywhere.
I’ve been a pastor for a long time and I’ve talked to people and I’ve learned two truths about life.
- Everyone has a hidden wound. You may be masking it but everybody has a hidden wound. An emotional scar from someone in the past who hurt you in a serious way.
- Hidden Wounds (emotional scars) take longer to heal than physical wounds.
Are you ready for some good news? The good news is this: Jesus wants to heal your hidden wounds.
[shareable cite=”CE Stowers”]Hidden wounds are memories that hurt.[/shareable]
(more…)
by Clarence E. Stowers | May 20, 2015 | Decisions, Encouragement, Motivation, Self-Leadership, Success
According to the Phobia List, there are OVER 2000 “CONFIRMED” fears.
Phobias are emotional and physical reactions to feared objects or situations. Symptoms of a phobia include the following: Feelings of panic, dread, horror, or terror. Recognition that the fear goes beyond normal boundaries and the actual threat of danger.
Fears are mostly learned behaviors and this process can often start in a mother’s womb. Unborn children pick up on their mother’s responses to situations. This is known as innate learning and can become naturally inborn fears.
It appears there are only TWO fears we are born with:
- The fear of LOUD NOISES – (We question how sound affects and impacts a growing baby, after all we can make judgment, see, hear and sense sound. A baby has little insight of this)
- The fear of FALLING – (Giving birth is about gravity, and often baby’s can spend a long amount of time upside down, no wonder this is classed as a fear we are born with)
Therefore, if we can learn them, we can unlearn them.
[shareable]Fears are mostly learned behaviors and this process can often start in a mother’s womb. [/shareable] (more…)
by Clarence E. Stowers | May 6, 2015 | Empowerment, Encouragement, Leadership, Self-Leadership, Success
Someone once said, “time flies when your having fun.” I’d like to suggest that time flies whether you’re having fun or not. In fact, time never stops.
It seems that everyone’s busy these days. And life shows no sign of slowing down. There are an endless number of apps, books, planners, and software all designed to help us manage our time more effectively. Since life has no intention of slowing down, are your efforts effective? Or do you sometimes feel like you’re spinning your wheels?
“Time flies whether you’re having fun or not.” -CE Stowers
[shareable cite=”CE Stowers”]Time waits for no one. It flies whether you’re having fun or not.[/shareable]
Now more than ever, we seem to have more work than time to do it. Everyone has exactly the same number of hours and minutes every day. So since we can’t increase the amount of time we have, we need to learn how to control our use of it.
Here are my five favorite blog posts to help you grow in the area of time management.
Why You Can’t Seem to Manage Your Time – Brandon Cox
Time management. Of all the people I know who ever focus on this concept, only a small handful are confident that they’re doing it well.
Source: Why You Can’t Seem to Manage Your Time
Time Management System – Ron Edmondson
If you aren’t doing so already, I want to encourage you to plan your week for efficiency. Every Monday (or Sunday night if you prefer), as the first thing you do, consider the week ahead.
Source: Time Management System – Ron Edmondson
3 Essentials for Time Management – Artie Davis
As you grow as a leader, your time becomes the most valued gift you can invest in others.
Source: 3 Essentials for Time Management
Top 10 Ways Leaders Waste Time – Carey Nieuwhof
When was the last time you complained about not having enough to do and more than enough time to do it in? Exactly. Almost every leader I know struggles with finding the time to get it all done. I do too. So what helps? And what hurts?
Source: Top 10 Ways Leaders Waste Time (And 10 Time Hacks to Help You) – Carey Nieuwhof
14 Tips for Time Management – Chuck Lawless
I make no claim to an expert at time management. What I am is a seminary dean, education consultant, church consultant, and local church pastor who has been forced to learn how to budget time. Here are some time management tips that have worked for me:
Source: 14 Tips for Time Management – ThomRainer.com
[shareable cite=”CE Stowers”]Everyone has exactly the same number of hours and minutes every day.[/shareable]
Heartsill Wilson said,
God has given me this day to use as I will. I can waste it – or use it for good, but what I do today is important, because I am exchanging a day of my life for it!
When you open your eyes tomorrow morning, remind yourself that it holds incredible possibilities. You can allow that day to slip away from you, or you can use it to make things happen. The choice is yours.
What other time management techniques have worked for you?
by Clarence E. Stowers | Apr 29, 2015 | Accountability, Decisions, Empowerment, Encouragement, Self-Leadership, Success
Here’s something you don’t hear at most conferences and seminars: Behind every opportunity are obstacles.
In 1999, I was installed as pastor of the Mars Hill Baptist Church of Chicago. However, as is so often the case, this opportunity came disguised as a seemingly insurmountable obstacle. I succeeded my father, Dr. Clarence E. Stowers, Sr. as pastor. I inherited a traditional baptist church that had plateaued.
Based on almost every metric available, I knew I had to do something fast or else our attendance would decline. The optimistic side of me was determined to turn our church around. Therefore, in 2000, I attended the Purpose Driven Church Conference and worked hard to formulate and cast a new vision for the Mars Hill Baptist Church of Chicago.
I restructured our church, hired staff, and with fresh enthusiasm, we were off to a great start. I anticipated smooth sailing ahead. What I didn’t anticipate is that everyone wants change until it affects them personally. Why? Growth is uncomfortable and requires change.
(more…)
