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How The Cosby Show Changed My Life

How The Cosby Show Changed My Life

by | Sep 24, 2021 | Empowerment, Family, Goals, History, Motivation, Parenting, Relationships, Television

The Cosby Show was a significant part of my young adult years.

The purpose of this post is not to debate Bill Cosby's legacy of legal troubles but to share how his show changed my life. It impacted me in a way I didn't really understand until I got older and saw how it changed how we looked at African-Americans on TV.

It gave me hope for what life could be like as a Black man. As an adult, it has inspired me to create my own world with positivity and laughter. Today's post will focus on 2 ways this show changed my life:

  1. My view of myself.
  2. My view of others. 

The Cosby Changed My View of Myself

The Cosby Show was unlike anything that had come before on TV. It seemed to be ushering in a new era of multi-faceted television. In the 1990s, something changed, and shows with all-black casts were marketed towards all-black audiences. Black people have been on TV for years; however, they rarely appeared as people of education and means.

Shows like Good Times depicted black life as a struggle, even though most main characters were employed. Now we had The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air, but Will Smith was ditching his hometown for ritzy West Philadelphia (he's from East Philly).

We had Martin Lawrence as an underachiever; UPN's Homeboys in Outer Space, featuring two black astronauts who happened to be brothers; we had Living Single. The show was full of characters with advanced degrees from well-to-do families, but it still wasn't the Cosby Show.

Even though they did not always do it well, this show showed life as a family. They showed how absurd families could be and also the things that happen in families. We remember this show for its funny moments and its sincere moments. When the entire family sang along with little Rudy singing Margie Hendricks's part, it became an instant classic. It made you realize that your own family is not as fun.

The Cosby Show was unlike anything that had come before on TV. It seemed to be ushering in a new era of multi-faceted television.

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The Cosby Show Changed My View of Others

The Huxtables were cool parents. They danced, sang, and laughed all over the place. But they also held a mock trial to catch Theo in a lie and flipped out when Vanessa got caught wearing makeup after being told not to.

The Huxtables didn't want to be their kids' best friends or let them get away with anything. The show was a step in the tradition of shows like Leave It To Beaver and The Brady Bunch, but it also had a lot to say about race relations.

When I first saw this show, I didn't think anything of it. After all, there were black families on TV before the Huxtables came along. But as time went on, and as I grew older and saw the good and the bad of black sitcoms and television in general, I came to appreciate Bill Cosby's show for what it was: a trailblazing insight into African-American life.

The Huxtables didn't want to be their kids' best friends or let them get away with anything. 

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The Cosby Show was different from other shows. People on The Cosby Show were friends and families. This made it so that people could relate to the show. It's hard to imagine families as different as those in Everybody Hates Chris or Black-ish without the Huxtables.

The Cosby Show was groundbreaking because it depicted upper-middle-class black families in a way that had never been seen before on television. This show is the reason why I wrote my book, "Finding Joy Despite Life's Hardships: A Guide to Overcoming Setbacks." 

By reading this blog post, I hope you will appreciate black people's rich history on TV. I also hope it inspires you to keep fighting against racism and discrimination in our communities, whether through your words or actions.

And finally, if any of these points resonate with you and make sense to you, please consider pre-ordering a copy of my book "Finding Joy Despite Life's Hardships: A Guide to Overcoming Setbacks." 

Thank you so much!

What TV shows impacted your life?

It's hard to imagine families as different as those in Everybody Hates Chris or Black-ish without the Huxtables.

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3 Tough Truths About Leadership

3 Tough Truths About Leadership

by | Sep 6, 2021 | Empowerment, Leadership, Self-Leadership

We all want to be liked and appreciated. It's just human nature. But it doesn't always happen, does it? There are times when you're going to have to make a tough decision that people will not agree with or like. 

This is the hard truth about leadership, but there are ways around this problem (which we'll cover in this post). You can still lead effectively even if not everyone agrees with you. We'll prove that being respected as a leader is most important!

Every leader must accept three complex realities, but it's difficult for some to get. Regardless of how you feel about it, the fact is that you are going to hate this news. 

The first harsh truth about leadership: If you are a leader, not everyone will agree with you - or even like you.

Not Everyone Will Agree With or Like You

At some point in our lives, we all want to be accepted and appreciated. We desire for people to agree with us. Cheers are preferred to boos. It's tough being the bad guy. (Unless you're a villain.)

The unpleasant reality is that someone will disagree with your decisions if you lead anything, and you'll split people into opposing camps. There will be advocates and critics. (Keep in mind that there has never been a president of the United States, pastor, or CEO - with perfect approval ratings.)

Leading is problematic because it takes people into the unknown. Leadership challenges the status quo. It stretches people and organizations. It brings change, and change is permanently attached to an emotion.

Even when this entails sacrificing approval ratings, leaders must be prepared to lead towards the organization's goal. The only way to avoid this truth is not to lead. In addition to everyone not agreeing or liking you, leadership is also lonely.

The unpleasant reality is that someone will disagree with your decisions if you lead anything, and you'll split people into opposing camps.

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Leadership is Lonely

Great leadership has a lot in common with being lonely.

That probably seems strange and even counterintuitive when you think about leadership as a role that demands connection, collaboration, and communication. You need to lead teams and help them understand your vision so they can do their jobs better. And leadership means having the support of those around you to help push through challenges and accomplish your goals. 

But leadership is also lonely. It can often feel like you carry the weight of responsibility on your shoulders. You make difficult decisions that might not go over well with everyone, and then you have to move forward, knowing things could get worse before they get better. 

And when people around you don't understand what leadership means or why you make the decisions you do, that can exacerbate your feelings of loneliness.

Lonely leadership is leadership where a leader feels isolated and misunderstood by their team, feeling that they carry the weight of responsibility on their shoulders and often do not want to share this burden with others because it's not something to be proud of or something to boast about.

This leadership is mainly characterized by the leadership feeling isolated and misunderstood by their team, feeling that they carry the weight of responsibility on their shoulders.

Lonely leadership usually results in leadership becoming or feeling isolated from others which causes additional pressure for leadership because leadership feels responsible for the well-being of their team.

Lonely leadership can often lead to leadership feeling more pressure and even experiencing additional mental health issues like depression and anxiety. Leadership is an all-consuming role where they have little time for themselves.

Leadership is also lonely. It can often feel like you carry the weight of responsibility on your shoulders. 

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You Don't Have to Wait For Someone to Give You Permission To Lead

I have a question for you: How do you decide what action to take when it feels like everyone else has already decided for you?

It's a common problem in business. You're on the team that's supposed to be taking care of the product, but somehow that duty and responsibility keep getting shuffled around or thrown onto your shoulders. You've tried to speak up about the issues you see and offer solutions, but no one seems to be listening.

The problem here is that leadership isn't a position; it's an action. And as leadership expert Simon Sinek explains: "leadership happens when you take the initiative." Being in leadership doesn't mean waiting for someone else to permit you before taking action.

If leadership is an action, how do you go about showing leadership when it feels like leadership doesn't exist? Here are a few key steps:

  1. Stop waiting for someone else to take leadership first. 
  2. Be the first person to step up and take responsibility for something that isn't working. 
  3. Don't expect people to follow you until you show leadership.
  4. Ask yourself: "What would a leader do?" Then go out and do it! 
  5. Show your leadership no matter where you are, even if leadership isn't currently recognized or appreciated. It may be more important to do so in the areas of your life where leadership is not appreciated.

It's leadership by example, and it's leadership at its finest.

When you take the initiative and act as a leader, even when leadership doesn't exist, you'll overtake leadership in other areas of your organization. People will see that leadership isn't just action when it comes to a leadership role. It's also an action in everyday situations and interactions – leadership is everywhere!

Successful leadership isn't just about leadership positions either. There are countless stories from disadvantaged people who have risen through the ranks simply by exhibiting leadership skills at work, in schools, even at home. They didn't wait for leadership positions before acting as leaders. They just went out and became leadership-like examples in their everyday lives.

Being in leadership doesn't mean waiting for someone else to permit you before taking action.

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Conclusion

There are a lot of challenges that come with being in leadership. It can be lonely, complicated, and some people won't agree or like you. You don't have to wait for someone else to give you permission before taking action, but there is no denying it's challenging work leading others from the front lines day-in and day-out.

Here's a strong statement I would offer to those who aspire to lead. And, in good faith and humility, I make this claim. It's not intended to discourage you from leading; instead, it serves to assist you in deciding whether or not you should.

If you thrive on the praise of others more than your dedication to making hard decisions and doing the correct thing for the company, I suggest you avoid becoming a leader. If you want to be popular instead of leading, try selling ice cream.

If any of this sounds familiar to you (or if you're looking for guidance), schedule your FREE 30-minute strategy call today! We'll discuss how we can help make your next big idea happen NOW so that by the time tomorrow rolls around - YOU'VE ALREADY WON!

How to Draw Closer To God Through Prayer

How to Draw Closer To God Through Prayer

by | Aug 30, 2021 | Accountability, Christianity, Empowerment, Mars Hill Baptist Church, Prayer, Spiritual Growth

When you know precisely what you want to accomplish and how your goals seem realistic, it's easier to achieve objectives like 10 pounds lost, debt eliminated, and a new career when they're concrete. Specifics provide a reference point and instruct you on what to do next.

It's a journey that will last a lifetime—and then some. It's not something you should expect to happen immediately. So, set any anxiety or guilt aside and commit to making modest progress each day, week, and month.

I was feeling stuck in a rut spiritually. I had been growing in my faith, talking and walking with God, but then I stopped maturing. After trying these steps, I noticed an improvement in my relationship with God.

What if there was a simple way to get closer to God? What if it only took three steps? Would you try it? I did, and now I want to share what worked for me and pray they work for you. First, you begin by getting into prayer mode.


Get Into Prayer Mode

A big part of my spiritual walk is prayer, and I found that many times when I was starting to feel distant from God, I wasn't tuning in to prayer. So I sat down one day and created a schedule to pray twice a day - Once in the morning and once in the evening.

When I sit down to pray, it's usually just God and me. I ask Him for forgiveness for whatever troubles me or has bothered me throughout the day. And at night before bed, I thank Him for all of the blessings He's given me during the day and thank Him for making me feel closer to Him than ever before.

My goal with this schedule was to spend at least 15 minutes in the morning and 15 minutes before bed talking to God. I wanted to make sure I had a connection with Him each day, no matter how busy I was. This schedule truly helped me feel closer to God, and I hope it does the same for you. Try it out for a week or so, and see how much more connected you feel with God!

Now that you're in prayer mode, next, eliminate all distractions, including electronic distractions.

Eliminate Electronic Distractions

I also recommend turning off any digital devices that might disturb or distract you from the prayer. Try to find a place where you can be alone and uninterrupted, even for a short while. It's not about being perfect, but it is about making an effort.

If you can't find a place to pray, don't worry about it. I was tempted to make it easier for you by listing some great spots to find solitude in, but the truth is that you can pray anywhere: your bedroom, church, bathroom (no one will judge), or even while walking the dog!

You can pray anywhere and anytime that you feel led to. Some ideas are listed below.

If you're having a hard time following or concentrating on what you're saying, don't worry about it! You may find yourself repeating the same general prayer over and over because your thoughts are all over the place. That's okay. It's not about being perfect! Just keep at it until you feel a sense of peace or hear God's voice encouraging you to continue.

You're in prayer mode and eliminate all distractions, including electronic distractions. Next, give thanks in advance for the little things that will happen on this day.

Turn off any digital devices that might disturb or distract you from the prayer. 

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Give Thanks in Advance for the Little Things That Will Happen on This Day

Every day when you wake up, say a short prayer. It doesn't have to be anything too complex or lengthy. Just remember and thank God for the day that he gave you of life. Then ask Him what He would like you to do with your life today. Make it personal by mentioning specifics of things He has done for you.

And when it comes time to fall asleep, say another prayer. Thank God again for the blessing of a new day, and ask Him if there is anything that he would like you to do tomorrow. If you woke up with any problems or concerns, pray about them and ask God how to handle them.

Try to read a chapter from the Bible each day. It doesn't have to be in chronological order or necessarily anything extensive. Just try to get into it and understand what you are reading, even if that means rereading some parts over again. If possible, make sure that the section of the Bible that you chose relates somehow to what you are going through that day.

For instance, if you recently learned about a significant mistake your friend made, read the story of David and Bathsheba (2 Samuel 11-12). This will help remind you that we all make mistakes, even though God still loves us.

Write down any thoughts and questions during your devotional time. This will benefit you in the long run. If an idea or question comes to your head, write it down and ask God about it later that day. By doing this, you are helping yourself get closer to God by staying in a constant conversation with him.

Give thanks in advance for the little things that will happen on this day. Begin each day with an attitude of gratitude. Write down:

-I am grateful for

-I am grateful for

-I am grateful for

...and so on.

Finally, you're in prayer mode, and eliminate all distractions, including electronic distractions; gave thanks in advance for the little things that will happen on this day; it's time to make a few slight necessary adjustments.

Give Thanks in Advance for the Little Things That Will Happen on This Day.

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Slight Necessary Adjustments

Try These Steps: (James 5:16)

Step 1: Change your perspective on your relationship with God. If we are willing to admit that we have grown distant from God, He is more than happy to help us feel close again!

Step 2: Start each day by reading the Bible for 10-15 minutes. It doesn't matter where in the Bible or what part of life you read about; start with reading every morning!

Step 3: Spend time in prayer each day as well. Pray for others, pray for yourself, and thank Him (God) for all He has done.

If you are willing to commit to prayer, you will see an immediate difference in your relationship with God.

Here's What You Can Do This Week

1. Find a time and place where you will not be disturbed and can focus.

2. Turn off any digital devices that might disturb or distract you from the prayer.

3. Get into what some refer to as "prayer mode." This is your way of getting ready for prayer, with an attitude of reverential awe before God.

4. Address God as Heavenly Father in your own words and use the pronouns "Thou" and "Thee."

5. Give thanks in advance for the little things that will happen on this day, but remind yourself that God knows what will happen tomorrow, too - so don't be disappointed if you forget something today or if you don't get to pray about everything that's on your mind.

6. Pray sincerely from the heart. Give thanks, express gratitude, ask for blessings and make requests of God as you feel inspired by the Holy Spirit.

7. Express your feelings at any promptings from the Holy Ghost and take note of what thoughts or feelings you may have received, either from the Spirit or your thoughts.

8. Conclude your prayer with a statement of gratitude and love for God, such as, "I'm grateful for this opportunity to communicate with Thee O Heavenly Father" or "I love thee." Then take time to sit quietly and contemplate on any feelings that came through in your prayer.

9. Some people like to finish with a closing prayer, but others prefer to sit silently until their thoughts turn back to the world and they're ready to begin their day. It's up to you and what works best for you personally!

10. Make sure that you have been reverent in your demeanor and sincerely give thanks in your prayer. If any distractions come up, such as your mind wandering to thoughts or concerns that aren't related to what you're praying for, gently return them to the things that you were brought before God to pray about - making sure not to get frustrated with; yourself! Turn again and start over.

Conclusion

We all need to take some time for prayer. Prayer is essential in our lives, and we must find a way to include it in our day-to-day lives. The best time to pray is at night when you sleep, but other times during the day work well.

There's no right or wrong time of day—do what works best for your schedule! To start getting into prayer mode more often, try setting aside 10 minutes every morning before school starts or before work begins where you can spend that time praying with God about anything on your heart, from family issues, worries about finances in general (including how they may affect current debt), problems at work anything that is a burden on your heart should be shared with God.

Christians are to pray at all times, not just when they feel like it or for some specific reason. The Bible says in 1 Thessalonians 5:17 in context, "Pray without ceasing." It doesn't mean we can't sleep or do anything besides pray. This is my testimony of how I was able to get closer to God. I hope it will help you, as well.

Drawing closer to God begins with prayer. Don't forget to join us for part two on "How to Get Closer to God." If you found value in today's post, can you do me a favor and share it? Thanks!

How do you get into prayer mode? I'd love to hear more about your prayer strategies.

Why Coffee Tea and Conversation Works

Why Coffee Tea and Conversation Works

by | Feb 12, 2020 | Empowerment

 
 
 
 
 
 

Modern Day Wells


During Jesus time, wells were often at the center of the community, which made it a very convenient place for public gatherings.

They served as a place to get water, socialize with others, have public meetings, listen to new ideas, hear the latest news, make public announcements, attract a crowd, serve needs, watch people and listen to prophets.

Since all people needed water, the well served as a life source for the entire town. John 4:1-42 provides a narrative of Jesus’ dealings with a Samaritan woman at a well.


The woman came to the well to get water for her household, but in reality she was given the true “water of life” from Jesus.


Today, gathering online can be considered the modern day well.

During Jesus' time, wells were often at the center of the community, which made it a very convenient place for public gatherings.

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How Do I Join The Conversation?

 
1

Like my Facebook Page

My Facebook Page will serve as the primary means of distributing content. It is where I will stream live, host Q & A sessions, and engage with you. 

Like My Facebook Page
 
2

Watch the Replay of My Latest Live Stream

Have you ever heard of The Grey Zone?

If you're a Baby Boomer or Gen X'er, the Workforce is Changing and Isn't Interested in us Anymore. 

Welcome to The Grey Zone. It’s time to put the hours you already spend on social media to work, and finally learn the skills you need to upgrade your efforts to morph into a successful side-hustle status.


Click the "Watch The Replay" Button Below.

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3

Check out My FREE Online Course

This year doesn't have to end up like last year if you start strong, remain consistent, evaluate, and persevere. 

I implemented a system that's benefited me greatly and want to share it with as many go-getters as possible. Click the link and get my FREE online video course. 

The course includes resource guide, audio & videos 10 minutes or less, & much more.

I Want My FREE Course

Grab some coffee, tea, or water and join the conversation, every Wednesday at 7 PM CST. If you have additional questions, just shoot me an email at cestowers@clarencestowers.com. 


See you online!

Lessons You Wished You Learned Earlier In Life – Part 3

Lessons You Wished You Learned Earlier In Life – Part 3

by | Jun 26, 2019 | Decisions, Empowerment, Encouragement, Goals, Self-Leadership, Success

Welcome to the final installment of "Lessons You Wished You Learned Earlier In Life". If you haven't already, you can read Part 1 here and Part 2 here. 

Someone once said, "everything that happens in life happens for a reason and lasts a season". I believe that to be true. Looking back, I've learned something from every stage in my life. In fact, life taught me much needed lessons I couldn't have learn elsewhere, while teaching me the power of reflection.

As I age, I'm reflecting more. "Reflection is the most important part of the learning process, and whatever is not reflected is usually not learned and retained", according to Rybo Chen. The only way for us to grow and improve is to take a good look at what’s working and what’s not for us.

So therefore, let's continue the countdown with the third lesson, most people you meet in life are selfish.

Reflection is the most important part of the learning process, and whatever is not reflected is usually not learned and retained. -Rybo Chen

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“Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards.”

Søren Kierkegaard

Why Is The World So Selfish?

Greed is a hard emotion to check. Did you catch that? If you did, then you know why most of the world is selfish.

Why is this world so selfish? Why do some rich and connected people cheat to get their kids into prestigious colleges and universities? Why, in the United States, are there are wider disparities of wealth between rich and poor than any time in history? I'll tell you why, people are inherently selfish.

As a whole, we have all become self-centered. Most of us hardly ever think of others anymore. It has become second nature to think of only ourselves. Unfortunately, most people think the world revolves around them and what makes them happy. 

Yes, there are genuinely generous people, but they are very rare. Most of the people that you meet in your life will only care about themselves. and that's just the way that it is.

I can hear you saying, "wait, I know some people are good in the world" and I agree with you. Yes, some people are, but, as a whole, the majority of people that you're going to meet in life are mainly concerned with themselves. So be aware of that and understand the world is not all butterflies and sunshine.

I love to hear your feedback. Do you agree or disagree that most of the world is selfish? 

Why is the world so selfish? Because greed is a hard emotion to check. 

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“Self-absorption in all its forms kills empathy, let alone compassion.”

Daniel Goleman

Lessons You Wished You Learned Earlier In Life – Part 2

Lessons You Wished You Learned Earlier In Life – Part 2

by | Jun 21, 2019 | Empowerment, Accountability, Decisions, Encouragement, Goals, Leadership, Motivation, Quotes, Self-Leadership, Success

Have you ever heard that "Hindsight is 20/20"?

"It's easy to know the right thing to do after something has happened, but it's hard to predict the future".

Like many, I've made many mistakes in life, but I've also learned from those mistakes. If only I would've listened, I could've avoided unnecessary setbacks. I would do some things differently if I could go back. Hindsight is 20/20.

If you're a teenager, in your early 20s, 30s, or 40s, or if you're just young at heart, I promise you will want to read this 3-part series, and can save yourself from the mistakes that most people make and regret for the rest of their lives. If you haven't read Part 1, you can read it here. 

Let's continue the countdown with the sixth lesson, every action has consequences.

6. Every Action Has Consequences

As I age, I'm discovering how wise my father was. As a kid, he would remind me that every action/decision has intended and unintended consequences. Intended consequences are the outcomes we directly see as a result of our actions. But, unintended consequences are the outcomes we do not directly see. They are delayed consequences. 

What's The Point?

Just because you don't immediately see the consequences (mostly unintended) of your actions doesn't mean they're not happening. You can't see wind either. You can, however, see the consequences of the wind. 

There are intended and unintended consequences for all of our decisions. Sometimes they take years to realize. Let's continue with the countdown with the fifth lesson, time is a nonrenewable resource.

Just because you don't immediately see the consequences of your actions doesn't mean they're not happening.

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"Nobody ever did, or ever will, escape the consequences of his choices."
Alfred A. Montapert

5. Time is a Nonrenewable Resource

"A nonrenewable resource is a resource of economic value that cannot be readily replaced by natural means on a level equal to its consumption. Most fossil fuels, such as oil, natural gas and coal are considered nonrenewable resources", according to Investopedia. 

Like the aforementioned, time is a nonrenewable resource. It cannot be readily replaced by natural means.  What does that mean? You only have RIGHT NOW! 

You only have right now. Whatever you're doing this second, you'll never get that second back. So, you want to make sure that you capitalize on all of the time that you do have and make sure you realize that being alive and healthy is a gift.

Moreover, you want to take advantage of that and live life to your truest potential. Why? You're never going to get the time back that you you know are experiencing right now.

Remember to do more of whatever makes you happy. Why? Eventually, we're all going to run out of time, and that's just the truth of the matter.

Let's conclude today's post with the countdown with the fourth lesson, everything is temporary. 

Time is a nonrenewable resource. It cannot be readily replaced by natural means.

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"Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life."

Steve Jobs

4. Everything is Temporary

Everything is temporary and comes to an end. Wow, that's pretty dark, huh?

This lesson isn't meant to be dark, it's meant to wake you up! I don't want to sound fatalistic, but, everything comes to an end. I had lots of friends in high school and college. But, today, other than Facebook, I barely see or talk to them anymore.

I'm not mad at anyone and hopefully, no one's mad at me. People move on with their lives. They get married, move to different places, and it becomes difficult to stay in contact with them.  So, be aware of the fact that things change and that everything is temporary.

Embrace people in the moment. Don't take the relationships you have today for granted. Love the people around you while enjoying their presence. Be happy that you have that time with them now!

Why? Because everything is temporary and all good things come to an end! Take advantage of  now and live in the present moment.

I trust you found value in today's post and I'd love to hear your feedback on what lessons you've learned. 

Everything is temporary and comes to an end.

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“The only permanent thing in this life is that everything is temporary.”
Author Unknown